


This Is All Yours

by Gaymememachine



Series: Prisoner Adam AU [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam (Voltron) Lives, Adam (Voltron) has Dissociative Identity Disorder, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Annoying Vine References Because I Can't Control Myself, Arguing, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Blood, Brazilian Adam (Voltron), Canon Gay Character, Complete, Depression, Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Numbness, Fluff, Gay Adam (Voltron), Gay Shiro (Voltron), Happy Ending, I may add more tags, If Any Of This Is Inaccurate By The Time Season 8 Rolls Around I'll Try To Fix It If It's Minor, If I Potray Something As Inaccurate Then Please Let Me Know, If Not Just Try To Deal With It, Implied/Referenced Homophobia In One Scene, Japanese Shiro (Voltron), M/M, Many Themes In This Fic Are Based off Experience, Minor Violence, Mostly Adashi with a Klance subplot, Non-Graphic Violence, Not Everything Though, Past Character Death, Past Drug Addiction, Past Drug Use, Past Torture, Past Violence, Past blindness, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prisoner Adam (Voltron), Psychological Trauma, Scars, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Tension, This Was Written Before Season 8, Trauma, greif, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-07-06 20:52:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 51,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15893934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gaymememachine/pseuds/Gaymememachine
Summary: Adam held the power to destroy. Shiro held the power to create. Together, they were an unstoppable force.-Summary: Shiro was heartbroken after learning about the loss of Adam, but when Shiro receives some shocking news, him and the paladins go on a mission. What occurs during the mission changes Shiro's life, and he falls in love all over again.-You know what? This is an alternate reality where Adam lived.





	1. About the Fic

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fanfic as a venting/coping mechanism. Please try to respect that.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: This fic deals with trauma, depression, grief, dissociation, violence, and heavy angst, as well as other themes that I will mention at the beginning of each chapter. There is also swearing. Please read at your own risk.
> 
> I also wanted to mention that I don’t own the title name of this fic or any of its chapters. They’re songs in the Alt-J album “This Is All Yours”. I may, however, add my own titles later on.

You know what? Screw it. This happened in an alternate reality.

 

-

 

I know that many people, including myself, are still upset over Adam.

That's why I'm writing this fic. To help ease that pain and provide hope.

If, for some reason, this doesn't become canon, then this will turn into an AU. This fic is canon in an alternate universe, after all. So is everything.

To all the thirsty Adam, Shiro, Adashi, and even Klance stans out there, I hope you enjoy!

If you decide to make memes, fan art, cosplay, or anything else relating to this fic, please tag it as **#vldtiay**.

I have worked on this fanfic over the course of several months. I have poured so much thought and energy into this, and I have learned new things along the journey, as well as enriched my writing using life experiences as inspiration. If you like my work, please leave a Kudo and a respectful comment. I'm also open to constructive criticism. These are always welcome. With that in mind, please enjoy!


	2. Intro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After receiving the news about Adam, Shiro reaches his breaking point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter deals with themes of vaguely referenced trauma, depression, greif, and is full of angst. Read at your own risk.
> 
> I promise the situation set up in this chapter won't remain for the entirety of the fic.

It had been two weeks since Shiro learned about the death of Adam.

 

\-----

 

It was a rather decent start to the morning. Shiro woke up in the dorm he was staying in at the moment. That had been a night free of nightmares and negative thoughts, so he woke up feeling better than usual. After a few minutes of waking up and prepping, he got up to say hello to the other paladins.

 

The first paladin he talked to was Keith, who was sitting on the upper bunk with his hair tied up while writing or drawing something in a notebook. Shiro noticed that his sleeping schedule was all over the place because of space, but he happened to be awake that morning.

 

“Morning,” Keith said in a monotone voice, looking up from the notebook. There were noticeable dark circles under his eyes. Shiro assumed that he had been awake all night.

 

“Did you even sleep?” Shiro took on an authoritative voice. The one Shiro used whenever he scolded Keith.

 

“Nope,” Keith replied, putting on his jacket that was to the side of him. He didn't bother hanging it up, which made sense considering he was on the top bunk.

 

“Understandable,” Shiro responded.

 

They sat in silence for a while. Finally it was Keith who spoke up.

 

“Have you ever wondered what Adam’s up to?”

 

Shiro froze. He wasn't expecting Keith to mention Adam. So much has happened the day before that he almost forgot about Adam, with the exception of a few small thoughts. He smiled at first, but that smile was quickly overrun with a guilty frown.

 

“Kind of? I doubt he wants to see me after running off like that.” Shiro took a minute to sit down, his fingers sinking into wintry hair. “If he did, he probably would have seen me yesterday. Hell, he obviously knew. Everyone at the Garrison knows we’re here.”

 

“Hey, don’t say that!” Keith snapped, blanket flying up as his body jolted. “He might just need time to process.”

 

“He’s had _years_ to process. I don’t even know how long it’s been. Space has really fucked with the concept of time here and all across the universe. It’s hard to keep track.” Shiro silently scolded himself for swearing, but he really didn't care. Keith was an adult now. They could swear with each other all they wanted, and neither of them would give a shit. This was _Keith_ , after all.

 

“But we just got back.” Keith paused for a moment as he climbed down the ladder and sat on the bed next to Shiro. “His views and opinions may have changed since then. For now, don’t worry about him. Worry about yourself. Actually, scratch that.” Keith shifted rather awkwardly.

 

Shiro chuckled. “I mean, it’s not like we have the fate of the world to worry about or anything.” His smile remained intact, but deep down he was under extreme pressure.

 

“Well, just hang in there for now until we get everything sorted out.” Keith stood up and offered his hand to Shiro. He gladly took it, carefully balancing his weight.

 

“I’m gonna greet the other paladins.” Shiro began to exit the room. “I’ll see you at breakfast?”

 

“Yep. You can count on that. If I don’t fall asleep first, that is.”

 

They exchanged smiles before the older man parted ways.

 

\-----

 

Shiro ran into Lance and Coran next in the hallway. Lance gave his usual chill morning voice, while Coran cheerfully greeted him. Coran’s voice seemed to be the equivalent to half a cup of coffee. Sometimes.

 

He then met up with Pidge and Hunk in the student lounge. Hunk appeared to be making something while Pidge sat down in one of the chairs with a cup of coffee. Pidge hissed at anything that moved, as usual. Shiro could mentally relate to her on mornings after sleepless nights, yet he still did his best to present himself. Hunk was his typical upbeat self, smiles and all.

 

Shiro found an empty seat in the Garrison cafeteria, looking in every direction for Adam, but he was nowhere to be seen. His gaze was only met by several others.

 

Allura and Romelle walked beside each other, sitting across from Shiro.

 

Romelle looked around in pure perplexion, her eyebrow lifting up. “Your Earth technology is so… different.” She didn't seem very impressed by it, but it was still intriguing to her.

 

“Altean technology is far more advanced, but there’s also so many things here that I could have never even dreamed of,” Allura added on.

  
“Hey guys!” a voice sounded in the distance. It was Lance, arriving with the other paladins. “Hunk’s made us waffles.”

 

The yellow paladin looked around the room. “Wow, everyone is staring at us.”

 

“Everyone loves us!” Lance grinned in response. “So many beautiful people. So many…” he trailed off. Shiro could barely read his face, but it seemed to be one of confusion.

 

“Is everything alright?” the former black paladin asked.

 

“Huh? Oh yeah, everything's cool.” He appeared to be alarmed as he sat down.

 

The group spent about thirty minutes consuming their meals and chatting about various topics, such as their families. It was a mostly pleasant conversation until Hunk started talking about his parents and siblings. Man, did he really miss them.

 

Shiro noticed Iverson approach the table, hands solemnly behind his back.

 

“Officer Shirogane..."

 

The white-haired man looked up in response. “Oh, yes?”

 

“May I speak to you? Alone?” He glared at Keith with his one eye. “He might want to hear about this as well.”

 

The two agreed, standing up and following. They went to a more private area.

 

“What were you wanting to tell us?” Shiro asked.

 

“This isn’t exactly good news. I regret to inform you, in fact.”

 

The two paladins exchanged nervous glances. What could the news be? And why would Iverson be so hesitant to say it?

 

Keith spoke. “I can handle it, I-”

 

“Adam is dead.”

 

The two’s faces were frozen. Neither of them were expecting that. Especially Shiro.

 

“No…” Shiro whispered. His heart began to beat rapidly in his chest and his body and voice were trembling. “This has to be fake. _Please_ , tell me this is fake.”

 

“I’m sorry, but it’s true.”

 

Keith had finally processed the news. He then looked at Shiro. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I know how much he meant to the both of you. But I’m sorry. He died in a battle against the galra. When we discovered his pod, he wasn't there. We assumed that the blast had vaporized him.”

 

Shiro was now visibly shaking, his hand covering his mouth. He wanted to cry but now wasn't the time and place for it. “Do you have an audio recording of the fight?”

 

“I don’t think that’s advisa-"

 

“DO YOU?!”

 

Everyone in the area turned to look. Even the rest of the paladins, who were around thirty feet away, angled their gaze towards the yell.

 

Shiro surveyed the area in embarrassment. He hadn't intended to lash out like that, but his anxiety had completely taken over.

 

Iverson looked somewhat uncomfortable. “Very well. Let me show you.”

 

The three of them walked down the hall and into a room filled with various technology. There were five other assistants in the room. Iverson communicated with one of them, before she led the three to a computer. Quickly, she began sorting through audio files, then finally clicked on one. An audio recording popped up, and she clicked the “play” button.

 

Immediately after hearing his voice, Shiro was taken aback. He braced himself for what was coming next.

 

Urgent commands and screams overlapped each other. It absolutely sickened Shiro. One by one, the voices faltered. So many innocent lives that were lost.

 

“Be aware, another Galra fleet is launching and approaching.” A woman warned. But what came after was something that Shiro never could have prepared himself for.

 

It was a desperate scream that belonged to Adam.

 

Then the voices stopped with the exception of the commanders, but Shiro paid no attention. He just stood there, shocked. He couldn't believe this. He just couldn't.

 

“He was the last fighter that went down,” Iverson commented.

 

Shiro managed to stand his ground. “Heh, he was always a fighter. That’s what I loved most about him.” His head faced the floor.

 

Keith proceeded to put his hand on his shoulder. “Shiro-”

 

“Don’t touch me.” He rejected Keith's effort, quickly moving away. “Just, please. I need some time.”

 

And with that, he stormed off.

 

“Shiro?” Keith called. “SHIRO!”

 

He was now walking as fast as he could without running. As soon as he made it to his dorm, he shut the door and fell on top of his mattress, almost hitting his head. He picked up his pillow and screamed as loud as he dared. This was too much. This was all too much.

 

\-----

 

That day had been extremely rough. He had spent most of it alone in his dorm, contemplating everything. He felt bad for not being productive, but he really needed to be alone.

 

Keith came in to check on him periodically throughout the day, but Shiro didn't want to talk. He just wanted to be by himself for the day.

  
In the afternoon, he left once with Iverson to visit Adam’s memorial. He was still in shock after receiving the news that he didn't have anything to say except “Adam… I’m sorry.”

 

By the end of the day, Keith had crashed on the upper bunk, but Shiro was wide awake. No matter what, he just couldn't get that scream out of his head. It made him shiver. He longed for warmth and tried almost everything to feel warm, but nothing ever worked. No matter what he tried, he still felt frigid.

 

He tossed and turned, hand embedded in hair, desperately trying to think of literally anything else. But he could only think of Adam. Their happy memories together, their arguments, what they could have been, and that scream. God, that _scream_.

 

And then he remembered the last thing Adam had told him. “Don’t expect me to be here when you get back.” He kept his promise.

 

The worst thing was that all of this could have been prevented. If he hadn't launched Sendak into space, this would have never happened. Millions of people would still be alive. Adam would still be alive. Everything would have been alright. But of course, he had to have a fucking panic attack and screwed everything up. He blamed himself for all of the people that were gone and all of the cities that were destroyed.

 

Shiro couldn't take it any longer. He held the pillow to his chest, stood up, and made his way towards the closet. It was a struggle getting inside, but he managed. After all, this wasn't the first time he had been in the closet.

 

After closing the door behind him, all of his emotions poured like a tsunami. Waves crashed against broken ruins and older buildings both new and old. Water flooded the city and destroyed every last bit of what he had.

 

And then he cried. Sobbed.

 

He brought a pillow to his mouth to muffle the sound to avoid waking Keith. Once that was done, he let his emotions flow inside of him, being released in the form of narrow waterfalls. Everything had let up to this moment.

 

The last times he had cried like this was when he was first captured. After being punished for his actions, being pressured to remain stable, and attempting to not show any signs of weakness to the other paladins, he never sobbed. Not until now.

 

At this moment, he hated being alive. He just wanted this to end. But he knew that he had to be there for the universe. He had to make it through this.

 

Adam, accepting his sexuality, his time as a prisoner, him dying and being alone in the infinite void of the black lion, being brought back to life inside his clone’s dead body, and everything in between. It was a lot to process. And yet all of those feelings have been bottled up for years. He was finally letting some of that out.

 

He just wanted it to stop. All of it. He wanted to feel okay. He wanted to be in Adam’s arms and to be able to caress his cheek and laugh with him again. Just like old times.

 

The door opened suddenly.

 

“Shiro… are you okay?”

 

Shiro jolted upwards in response. “K-Keith! Go back to sleep. It’s not what it looks like. I-”

 

From what Shiro could tell through the dim lighting, Keith was surprised. His eyebrows were extremely far up. “Y-You’re crying. Wow, um… Okay. That’s perfectly fine.” Keith slightly opened the door wider. “Do-Do you mind if I sit here?”

 

The older man nodded in response without saying a single word. Keith began to sit down, the side of his body holding up the door. The two faced each other, with tension in between.

 

“It’s about Adam, isn’t it.”

 

He once again nodded, this time saying something. “Kinda, yeah.” He paused to sniffle, then pulled the pillow closer to his chest. “I just miss him. So much has happened, and now he’s gone. I guess I just couldn't take it.”

 

“I bet,” Keith replied. “I don't think I’ve ever seen you this upset. I’m sorry… I miss him almost as much as you do. You and him sort of adopted me. You guys became my new family.”

 

Listening to this made Shiro smile. At least he had Keith. For now.

 

“Sort of? I fully signed the adoption papers and everything.” He smirked before frowning again. “I just wish I could see him again. To tell him I made it. I just want to see him smile and laugh and-” A lump formed in his throat, and he was forced to pause. “Now I’ll never be able to.”

 

Keith nodded in response, frowning. “Well, you have me. We have each other.”

 

Shiro didn’t seem to lighten up at this.

 

“Alright,” Keith began. “Do you want me to see if the other paladins are awake?”

 

“No,” Shiro blurted out. “I don’t want them to see me like this.”

 

“I respect your choice. I can give you another blanket and tissues and make you some hot chocolate if you want. Are you okay with that? Will you be okay here alone?”

 

He simply nodded in agreement.

 

Keith stood up and gathered a blanket and some tissues. After giving them to him, he quickly left the room and shut the door behind him.

 

Around ten minutes later, Keith returned with a cup of hot chocolate. Perhaps generating physical heat wasn't the answer. He could try internally warming himself instead.

 

“Alright, so I got the hot chocolate and Hunk was there cooking something. He’s outside right now. Should I bring him in?”

 

Shiro contemplated on this a bit before agreeing. “I guess.”

 

Keith got back up to open the door again, and Hunk slowly walked in. He immediately frowned upon seeing Shiro.

 

“S-Shiro?”

 

The man simply looked up in response.

 

“Do you want to talk?”

 

Shiro looked off to the side, clearly running through thoughts in his head. He was unsure if he was ready to talk about everything.

 

But now was the perfect moment, so he complied.

 

“Sit down.”

The two paladins did as they were told, and sat on the floor with their legs crossed.

 

“I guess- I guess I haven't told you much about Adam, or my time as a prisoner…” Shiro began. “Or anything, really. I think it’s time you two should finally know this. If you’re okay with it.”

The two boys nodded in agreement.

 

“Okay then. You might want to get comfortable, because this is probably gonna take awhile.”

 

The waves began to calm.


	3. Arrival In Nara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro discovers that there is hope, but at the cost of a life-threatening mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter shows symptoms of trauma as well as a flashback and a panic attack. Not everything in this chapter is based from experience, so please correct me if I get something wrong. There is also some blood in this chapter.

So much had happened since that day. Shiro had a new arm, he became the captain of the Atlas (which turned into a mega Voltron), Sendak was defeated, and the paladins were recovering. Earth finally had a chance to rebuild. The paladins had new uniforms. The Atlas was even being converted into the new Castle of Lions. Everything was starting to revert back to normal for everyone.

 

Everyone except him.

 

He still felt lost without Adam. He tried to carry himself throughout the day, but he struggled so much. The others had noticed something was up, but every single time they asked if he was okay he said, “I’m fine.” Besides Keith and Hunk, no one else knew how he really felt.

 

Keith had gladly taken care of Shiro during his grieving process, helping him get out of bed and reminding him to eat and such. Shiro usually knew to do these things, but for once in his life he just couldn't spark enough motivation to do anything.

 

Hunk had taken the information rather well compared to how Shiro thought he would. He expected the yellow paladin to freak out or something, but he didn't. He just kept being Hunk. After that night, Hunk continuously came to check in on him.

 

But the rest of the paladins. Shiro felt like they weren't quite ready to know. Maybe some other day.

 

He noticed that the others, Lance especially, where upset that Shiro was never with them and that Keith and Hunk always seemed distracted. He was the type to get jealous easily, so this was no surprise.

 

Allura seemed rather pissed at the unproductivity that divided them. Here Earth was being taken over by the Galra, and what did Shiro do? Half as much as the others. Shiro was aware of this and wanted to tell her so bad, but he just couldn't.

 

He had survived through trauma, countless battles, and so many other life-threatening events. Why couldn't he handle a little heartbreak?

 

\-----

 

That morning Shiro decided to head to the cafeteria for breakfast after getting coffee. He would often see the paladins daily, but spend a lot of time away from everyone. The times that he would leave his room were rather unpredictable.

 

When he sat down next to the others, everyone looked at him as if he had been late to a meeting. All except for Pidge, who was looking at her hologram screen. Lance was absent at the moment.

 

“We haven't seen you for a couple days,” said Coran.

 

Shiro sat there as he fidgeted with his sleeve. “Look, I-”

 

“Do you know how long you’ve been away?” Allura snapped, her eyebrows tightly stitched together. “While you were in your room half of the time, we made almost a full recovery! Without the pods!”

 

“I’m sorry, okay?” Shiro blurted out, finally fed up with everything. “I’ve been trying really hard. I just need a break.”

 

“As if two weeks wasn't enough,” Romelle chimed in. “I’ve been doing all your dirty work! It’s time you stepped up.”

 

Shiro nodded. “Will do.”

 

In that moment a man walked up to the former black paladin. “Hey Shiro, how do I look?”

 

He glanced up at the man and instantly noticed glasses in front of his eyes that looked all too familiar.

 

“Ada-!” He paused when he noticed that this man was none other than Lance. “Oh, hello Lance. I’m sorry. You kind of look like Mr. Wright with those glasses and everything.” He looked down in disappointment. Seeing Lance was nice, but seeing Adam would have been even better considering the circumstances.

 

“Oh God, I really look like him, don’t I?”

 

“I can barely tell the difference.”

 

“I got these in case a special case came up, like if I had to go undercover. You never know!” He sat down across from him. “But yeah, Mr. Wright was an amazing teacher.”

 

“Yeah,” Shiro looked off, the corners of his mouth reaching for the floor. “He was.”

 

They sat for a minute in a long, uncomfortable silence. Finally, Pidge looked up from her screen.

 

“I’ve been doing some research on the Galra ships nearby, and I found a database of the one closest. Most of the citizens captured on Earth have been found. So far there’s an estimated five million documented people still missing from Earth.

 

The group gasped in shock at the number. It all seemed so unreal. How could that many people still be missing?

 

Then a past conversation played in Shiro’s mind. It was Iverson.

 

“I know how much he meant to the both of you. But I’m sorry. He died in a battle against the Galra. When we discovered his pod, he wasn't there. We assumed that the blast had vaporized him.”

 

And then he came to a conclusion.

 

His body was missing. That meant it couldn’t be confirmed that he was dead. That was enough hope that Shiro needed.

 

“Are you able to find the names of the people on that ship?”

 

The two of them made eye contact. “I’ve downloaded about five percent of the data so far. These logs include first names, last initials, and headshots. They don’t appear to be in any particular order. I can go through that list right now.” Pidge swiped on her screen, then began reading the list of names. “Benjamin R., Alexa E., Justine H., Joseph V…”

 

All of the named seemed to blur together.

 

“Gen S., Nova J., Nathan K...”

 

Shiro took a long, disappointed sip from his coffee. Out of five million people, he doubted that-

 

“Adam W.-”

 

As the words rolled off Pidge’s tongue and into the air, Shiro spit out his coffee in alarm and coughed. The green paladin glared up in surprise.

 

“Wait, say that name again,” Keith commanded.

 

“Adam W.?”

 

“Adam…” Shiro whispered once more.“Can I see the headshot?”

 

Pidge tilted her screen so that Shiro could see it, and it was exactly who he had expected it to be.

 

“That’s him. We have to get him out.” Shiro took another sip of his coffee and stood up from his seat.

 

“Wait, what? Why?” Romelle asked. “What’s so special about this guy?”

 

Shiro hesitated for quite some time, frozen in his stance.

 

“He was my fiancé.”

 

He was met by pure silence. He couldn't tell exactly what everyone was thinking, but they didn't look surprised.

 

At all.

 

Well, except for Lance. His jaw was practically touching the floor.

 

“WOAH, WHAT?! He’s your fiancé?”

 

Then the paladins took turns sharing their reactions.

 

“I’ve known about it, obviously,” said Keith.

 

“Yeah, I figured,” the yellow paladin added.

 

“I figured it as well,” said Allura.

 

“We were supposed to think you were straight?” Coran asked. This made Shiro chuckle a little.

 

Pidge crossed her arms. “Someone wise told me that owning who you are will make you a better paladin.”

 

“Yes,” Shiro spoke, smiling at Pidge. “A few years ago on Earth time, he was assumed to be dead after a battle with the Galra. I want to see him more than anything…” He frowned, meeting soft and comforting gazes with Keith.

 

Allura paused for a moment, then spoke. “We helped Pidge find her family. We will help you find yours. Get ready for tomorrow.”

 

\-----

 

That night Shiro could barely sleep, but out of hope and excitement. Joyous thoughts overpowered his previous negative ones. He knew that over-hyping himself could possibly lead to devastation, but he couldn't help it. He just longed to see him again.

 

Keith was back to a somewhat regular sleeping schedule. It was a little off, but not by too much. Shiro’s in comparison was more unpredictable than it’s ever been. As someone who needed to have routine, this felt very odd.

 

Hunk, from what Shiro knew, had been awake to check in on him at strange patterns. Sometimes he would check in at around 7 am. Sometimes around noon. Sometimes around 4:30 in the afternoon. Sometimes around 8 pm. Sometimes around 1 am. It varied greatly.

 

Other than Keith and Hunk, Shiro just assumed that the other paladins maintained normal schedules. He didn't visit them enough to know. Part of him really regretted that.

 

As he drifted off to sleep, he kept on imagining what his possible reunion with Adam would be like.

 

\-----

 

That morning was the first in two weeks that Shiro was excited to get up. As soon as he woke up he quickly got out of bed, almost breaking the world record for the quickest time getting ready. When he finished, he woke Keith up and met up with the other paladins.

 

Within minutes, everyone was headed to their lions. Shiro and Kosmo went with Keith, Coran went with Hunk, and Romelle and the space mice went with Allura.

 

They were quickly in the sky going at full speed. They couldn't waste any time. They just couldn't.

 

It was about five minutes before they arrived, but it was five minutes too long. Shiro stood there, anxious.

 

“So,” Allura started. “What was Adam like?”

 

God, where could he even begin? There were so many reasons why he loved Adam. So many. He eventually decided on something.

 

“He was the greatest person a man could ask for. He had chocolate brown hair that I could get lost in, but his eyes took me to space. Even when we were on Earth. He felt like home to me.” He reminisced of those late nights when they would cuddle in bed and never let go of each other. Then another thought crossed his mind. His amazing personality. “He was a fighter, always stood strongly, and never backed down. Adam was also _extremely_ competitive. The two of us were always challenging each other.”

 

“Awe, that's so cute!” gushed Hunk.

 

Keith chuckled. “When you put it that way, you made him sound like someone I know.”

 

If Shiro had been drinking something, he would have spat it out at this point. Just like he did the previous morning.

 

Lance clicked his tongue. “Can’t wait to meet them.”

 

It took everything the former black paladin had to avoid dying from laughter.

 

“He sounds pretty great,” Allura added. “We’ll do everything we can to bring him back safely. We will do whatever it takes. Whatever it takes.”

 

Shiro smiled, his body finally relaxing. He was in good hands. He knew it.

 

\-----

 

The Galra ship was finally in view.

 

Hunk, being the voice of reason, was going on a usual nervous question spree. He always did this before missions.

 

“What if we’re cornered by guards?”

 

“We have our bayards,” Keith said.

 

“What if we can’t save everyone?”

 

“Both the lions should be big enough to carry at least fifty people. We can make multiple trips if we have to. Earth is only ten minutes away.” Keith audibly sighed.

 

“What if they threaten to hold someone-”

 

“We’ll be fine, okay?” the current black paladin argued.

 

Shiro payed attention to every single one of Hunk’s predicted scenarios. He usually did this in case one of his predictions actually happened. That has occurred quite a few times.

 

When they reached the ship, they stopped for a minute.

 

“Okay team,” Keith began. “Shiro, Lance, Pidge, and I will go inside. Allura and Hunk, you stay out here in the lions for air support. We may need one or more of you for backup. Understood?”

 

Everyone agreed. Shortly after, the selected four exited their lions and began to break into the facility. Pidge used her bayard to cut out a hole through the thick exterior, then the four entered one by one. Everything seemed to be going great when their feet hit the ground.

 

Until Shiro took in the appearance of the hallways. All of a sudden, he dropped to the floor, and it felt like Shiro was being dragged again. The fear was there. It was definitely there. It was like something he couldn't snap out of.

 

“Shiro, are you okay?”

 

The corridors seemed to go on for miles.

 

“Shiro?”

 

He couldn't move. He couldn't thrash. All he could do was hopelessly give in.

 

“SHIRO!”

 

Shiro finally snapped out of it enough to register Keith's voice, panting and gasping for air. He still couldn't shake the visions. They were plaguing his every thought.

 

“Shiro! It’s gonna be okay. Can you hear my voice?”

 

He wanted to respond, but he could hardly manage. All he could do was forcefully nod.

 

“What you’re seeing isn't real. Ground yourself. Listen to my voice.”

His body fell back a little, and that's when he realized that he could move his body. Then the visions seemed to fade away, then reappear, then fade away. The four paladins stood in front of him with concerned expressions.

 

_Oh shit_ , Shiro thought. _They saw me. They fucking saw me._

 

Even though the flashback had stopped, his entire body was trembling and he could barely control himself. He tried, but he couldn't. His heart pounded in his chest so hard and he could barely breathe. He felt like he was going to die.

 

Lance kneeled down in front of Shiro. “Breathe in.”

 

Shiro complied, inhaling through his nose.

 

“Breath out.”

 

He exhaled through his mouth.

 

The two repeated this exchange a few times until Shiro’s heart rate slowly died  
down. He was finally calm enough to speak.

 

“Lance, I-”

 

“No. It’s fine. I am so sorry this happened. If you ever need to talk about it, you can.”

 

That was the thing. He didn't want to talk about it. He would have rather took his secrets to the grave with him. Hell, this was the last way he wanted to explain his problems.

 

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

“Do you want a hug?” Lance’s arms outstretched, and he smiled a bit.

 

Shiro agreed to the hug, tightly embracing him. It felt warm and welcoming, and everything else seemed to fade away. Pidge and Keith joined in, and the hug became even more open and welcoming until they pulled away.

 

Pidge slowly approached Shiro. “My dad probably knows some relaxation techniques. When we get back, try to talk to him about it.”

 

_How many people have to know?_

 

Shiro nodded. “Alright. Let’s find Adam.”

 

\-----

 

The four of them had walked around endlessly in search for the captured prisoners. It seemed like the halls went on for miles. Each one looked almost identical. How would one even manage to navigate the place?

 

The two decided to split up. Lance went with Shiro and Pidge went with Keith. They were able to communicate and check in on each other’s location, so they didn’t have to worry about accidentally getting separated.

 

Shiro and Lance began making their way down even more corridors, being on edge for sentries. The two were silent for a few minutes, but the anxiety both of them felt seemed like a conversation in itself. Lance finally spoke when he was sure that they were alone.

 

“Hey, Shiro. Can I talk to you for a second?”

 

Shiro slowed his movement. “Yeah. What’s up?”

 

“Adam was your fiance, right? That means you’re-that you...”

 

“...Like guys?”

 

“Yeah, that.” Lance fidgeted with his fingers and rapidly tapped his foot. “This whole time I thought I was straight. But I kinda like guys too? I’m not sure.” He looked down at the ground with shame. “I like Allura a lot, but there’s also someone else that I like. I hate him, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s true.”

 

“Do you mind telling me who this guy is? Maybe I can help.”

 

The current red paladin rubbed his arm, avoiding eye contact at all costs. “Keith. But don’t tell him, okay?”

 

Shiro froze. _Keith? He likes Keith? Holy shit._ In response, he grinned. “I’ll see what I can do.”

 

Lance smiled with reassurance. “Thank you for understanding.” He pauses. “Does this mean I’m bi?”

 

“If that’s what you identify as, then yes. Regardless of your orientation, you are valid. One hundred percent.”

 

Lance’s smile grew even wider. “Then in that case, I’m bi.”

 

\-----

 

After that conversation, the mission became less tense. They both seemed to have more energy and optimism. Still, Shiro was worried about a possible conflict with sentries. Shiro was without a proper weapon. He would have to rely on Lance.

 

They walked for about thirty minutes when they heard voices from around the corner.

 

“We have these prisoners that we captured a few phoebs ago. They have yet to be evaluated,” said a deep voice.

 

“What are you waiting for, then?” asked a female. “Take them to the evaluation chamber.”

 

The footsteps seemed to fade away. Lance and Shiro used this opportunity to contact the other paladins.

 

“We’ve found a group of prisoners. Pidge and Keith, head towards our location,” said Lance.

 

“Allura and Hunk, park the lions close to one of the hangars. We need to get as many people to the lions as possible. Remember that they don’t have helmets,” Shiro added in.

 

It seemed like only a few minutes before Pidge and Keith caught up to them. They proceeded carefully, following the pathway of the footsteps.

 

“The next match shall begin in five dobashes,” said the deep voice again.

 

The four paladins peaked around the corner. In view were two Galra commanders and what looked like around thirty humans. Shiro instantly recognized one of them.

 

Adam.

 

Shiro’s heart began to race once more. There were so many emotions flowing through his mind. He was relieved, he was happy, and he was scared. He turned to the other three paladins and whispered. “We have to attack now. Pidge, quickly locate the hangar in which the lions are located. Then join us in the fight.”

 

Almost immediately after he had finished saying that, he charged towards the Galra commanders, screaming with all his might. “Let go of him!”

 

Before the commanders could fire their guns, Keith used his shield to block the shots. Shiro used this opportunity to tackle - yes, tackle - Adam to the ground. They were now facing each other, only inches apart. Just as Shiro was about to open his eyes, he was knocked off by something.

 

One of the Galra commanders was now tightly holding Adam by the neck with his other hand wrapped around Adam’s body. He was choking, trying to break free from his grasp.

 

Then a whole group of sentries surrounded them. There was no escape.

  
The commander looked down at Shiro. “You really seem to like him, yes?”

 

Shiro’s stomach flipped. He knew that couldn't mean anything good.

 

“Very well,” he continued. “Surrender the lions, or he is done for.” On cue, he pulled out a sharp blade from his waist and moved it to Adam’s left arm. “Hmm, we were going to replace this arm eventually, but now would be such a perfect time.”

 

“Don’t do it!” Adam ordered Shiro. “Don’t give up the lions. I’m fine with this.”

 

Shiro felt like he was going to vomit. His mouth had a weird taste and his throat burned. _What do I do? What do I do?_

 

“Suit yourself,” said the commander. He moved the blade closer to skin. Closer. And closer. Until there was crimson liquid flowing from the wound. As the blade sunk deeper, Adam’s stifled screams got louder. Louder. And louder. Shiro couldn't take it anymore.

 

“Wait, stop!” He took a few steps forward until their toes met. “I surrender. Now you let him go.”

 

The commander only laughed. “What makes you think-”

 

Shiro pounced on his foot with all of his weight, and he let Adam go with a shriek of pain. Adam fell to the floor unconscious, and Shiro decided to cradle him in his arms. He felt extremely lighter than he remembered. He assumed that he was malnourished. The rest of the humans swiftly followed the paladins away from the area. Pidge led everyone out.

 

“AFTER THEM!”

 

They were now running even faster than before, following Pidge to the closest hangar Keith stayed in the back to make sure no one was left behind and to block the shots from behind. They crossed several identical hallways until they reached the hangar where the lions were parked.

 

Allura and Hunk got out of their lions to assist everyone, dividing the humans into the five lions. Once everyone else was loaded, the paladins proceeded to enter their lions. Shiro, still cradling Adam, carefully sat down with him to tend to his wound. It was a deep cut, but he was sure that he would be okay. He proceeded to apply pressure to the wound to stop the bleeding.

 

Shiro immediately noticed a scar on his right eye. And another one on his left cheek that went down his neck and appeared to be a burn. And another one on the right side of his mouth that was separated where his lips met. He then looked down at his right arm and instantly regretted it.

 

It had been replaced with a prosthetic that was identical to the one that he had before his fight with Keith.

 

Shiro bit his lip in horror. _No, no. It can’t be._ He didn't want to believe it.

  
But that was for a later date.

 

“Adam? Can you hear me? Adam?”

 

“Mmm, Takashi?” His eyes slowly opened, his gaze appearing to be blank. “You found me.”

 

“A-Adam,” he blurted out. “You’re-You’re alive.”

 

He was rewarded with a weak smile. “Newsflash, Takashi. I’ve been alive the entire goddamn time.”


	4. Nara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Adam recovers, him and Shiro briefly catch up with each other and discuss future plans. Meanwhile, Shiro sets up Keith and Lance on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter mentions dissociation and scars, as well as brief mentions of blood. I used some of my own previous symptoms as a reference when writing this in regards to Adam's emotional state.
> 
> On a side note, I am pleased to announce that I may make a separate fic in the future with scenes in this fic (ex. the Klance scene mentioned here) that don't currently go into a lot of detail and work to make them more vivid.

Adam had been hospitalized for a week. He wasn't allowed any visitors, so Shiro wasn't able to check in on him.

 

He was run under a series of mental and physical tests since he had come into contact with aliens. The tests showed that he was in a rather emotionless state of mind at the moment and that other than malnourishment and a couple of newer wounds, he was fine physically as well. Shiro even discussed with Sam and Iverson about his prosthetic. Throughout the entire discussion, fury burned in his soul.

 

He wanted to seriously hurt the being responsible for this.

 

There was also another noticeable addition that was discovered when X-rays were conducted. A microchip had been implanted in his brain. The doctors considered removing it, but they decided not to considering how risky it would be. They weren’t even sure what the purpose of it was. They just hoped that it was harmless.

 

Adam’s condition was finally to the point where he was allowed visitors. Shiro was now able to see him.

 

He decided to arrive with some flowers that he had bought at the hospital store to make him feel better as well as a card. He had spent over ten minutes writing a message in the blank spaces of it. An apology was absolutely necessary in this situation. Shiro could only assume that he was still mad at him for choosing to go to Kerberos instead of staying on Earth.

 

The doctors brought Shiro to the room that Adam was staying in. His excitement and nervousness was overcoming him. He made sure that he was still carrying the card and the flowers.

 

The door opened, and Adam looked like he had just woken up. He seemed a little disoriented and dizzy. Shiro approached him slowly as the doctors left the room.

 

“Good morning. I, uh, brought you some flowers… And a card.”

 

Adam seemed pleased to receive the flowers, but even more curious to see the card. After opening the envelope, he read the front cover.

 

“ _An apology_ ”

 

He glanced up at Shiro, then turned to the inside of the card and began reading.

 

\-----

 

“ _Adam,_

_I lived bitch._

_Okay, but on a serious note, I’m so, so, so sorry. For everything. I’m sorry for leaving to Kerberos and I’m even more sorry for letting this happen to you. It feels like there's nothing that I can do to fix our relationship. All I can do is apologize._

_But something good came out of this. I’m not sick anymore! Now we can live out the rest of our lives as planned… if you want to and if our futures allow for it. If it's fine with you, I would like to pick up right where we left off, but maybe a little earlier than that. Like right after I proposed to you. Those were priceless times._

_We used to spend every Saturday night stargazing. We would count as many stars as we could and dreamed of being up in space. Now we get to see it. For real this time._

_So what do you say?_

_Love,_

_Shiro_

_P.S: Regardless if we get married or not, I’ll always kick your ass at Uno._ ”

 

\-----

 

Adam looked up from the card, clearly confused. Shiro assumed that he just needed to process things. He also realized something else. He was able to read the card without his glasses.

 

“You were able to read that just fine, I see.”

 

“Yeah,” he murmured, looking down. “The Galra corrected my vision. They said it would make me more skilled in combat.”

 

Shiro remembered just how horrible the battles were. He never wished that to fall upon any innocent being. And here was his fiance, after being captured for three years. Who knows what kind of hell he’s been through?

 

But he knew. He knew ever since he noticed Adam’s prosthetic. He knew exactly what kind of hell he’s been through.

 

Adam noticed Shiro’s new arm. “I see you lost yours, too.”

 

Shiro frowned. “Yeah. I did.” He paused. “There’s something else I didn't mention in the letter because I wanted to tell you in person. I’m so sorry for everything that the Galra has taken from you. I know exactly how that feels.”

 

“It’s dehumanizing. My shitty vision and my normal limbs and my emotions were all things that made me human. Then the Galra kept taking that away from me.” He sinks back into the bed he’s lying in. “Now I feel like an alien controlling a human’s body. Or what used to be. I’ve lost everything that made me human.”

 

Shiro sat down next to him, avoiding machines and cords. “You have me. I’m human. Regardless of what they can do to you, you will always be a human deep down inside.”

 

Adam turned away again. “I’m still not sure about the wedding. I still need some time, but I’m glad to see you again.” He grinned, meeting eye contact with Shiro.

 

Shiro missed everything about Adam, from his eyes, to his hair, to his smile… he could go on and on. A thought occurred to him.

 

“Can I kiss you?”

 

Adam looked contemplative. After a few seconds, he replied, “Yes.”

 

Shiro leaned down and kissed him on the lips. The kiss brought back many memories of old, but something didn't feel right.

 

The magical energy that they always used to feel. The kiss was almost completely devoid of it. Shiro wanted it, but did Adam? Or was it something else?

 

They finally pulled away. The silence that came after was absolutely dreadful.

 

“So,” Shiro began. “How did you feel?”

 

Adam stared off into the distance, eyes fixated on nothing in particular. “Empty.”

 

The former black paladin flinched when he said those words. _Was there really nothing left?_

 

“I felt it too.”

 

“No. No you didn't. You don't know what it's like to feel truly empty.”

 

“Actually, I do.”

 

During Shiro’s time as a prisoner, he had felt completely empty from time to -time. He appreciated that it was like mind numbing medicine, but he realized that it wasn't so great after all. Without life, there’s no point in living.

 

The paladin shifted. “So you're still mad at me, huh?”

 

“Of course I’m mad, Takashi. I’m mad as hell.” What was ironic was that he didn't look mad when saying this. He still appeared to be emotionless. “You only had a couple more years to live, and then you fuck off into space with Mathematics Holt and his father, Sam-traction, leaving me without even saying goodbye. Then your spacecraft supposedly “crashes” and then you're presumed dead. I thought you had died!” He paused. “Or so I thought.”

 

“Look, I-”

 

“And now you're here, in front of me, alive with a scar across your nose, white hair, and a freaking floating prosthetic. So much time has passed, and you look so different. So yeah, I’m finding it a little hard to be forgiving right now.” He sighs and rubs his eyes. “I can deal with you. I can sleep with you. I can kiss you. But I still can't fully forgive you. Not yet, anyways.”

 

His words were a spear to the heart. Only this didn't cause Shiro to die instantly.

 

But he wished it would.

 

He cleared his throat in response, then stood. “I guess you don't want to be around me right now. I understand. I’ll go.” He made his way to the door, stepping over cords as if they were lasers. The door was right there. He was so close.

 

“Takashi, wait.”

 

_Fuck._

 

He performed a full 180 spin. “Yeah?”

 

“As much as I hate you right now, I love you. I want you to remember that.

 

_What in the fresh hell was that supposed to mean?_

 

Shiro could only respond with “I love you too,” before leaving the room.

 

\-----

 

After that morning, Shiro couldn't think straight.

 

When could he ever?

 

Every time he closed his eyes, he envisioned himself in a fancy tux, gazing into the eyes of his lover.

 

They both had the warmest grins on their faces. He glanced at the audience. All of the paladins were up front, suppressing squeals.

 

He turned to Adam again, waiting for what was next.

 

Back to reality. Adam still hated his guts, and he was all alone in their shared apartment, except it didn't feel shared.

 

He was all alone.

 

This left him to his thoughts. He tried to eliminate thoughts about weddings in order to avoid getting his hopes up, but he just couldn't. They were too powerful.

 

He wanted to marry this beautiful man, and that was clear. Not straight. Clear.

 

Shiro saw this as a break from all the chaos that's been going on lately. Anything was better than thinking about the past. Anything.

 

He loved Adam more than he loved anyone else, and he wanted to resume their relationship once more. He just wished Adam felt the same way.

 

\-----

 

Shiro had decided to crash inside Keith's dorm for the night. Even with company, the thoughts still occupied his mind. As much as he enjoyed them, it hurt, because he knew that there was a chance that they would never happen.

 

Keith was laying on the top bunk with his legs resting against the wall and his hair sprawled out against the mattress.

 

Shiro couldn't help but think of his previous conversation with Lance a little over a week ago. Lance basically confirmed that he was into Keith. Shiro always had the feeling, but he wasn't sure up until that moment. He assumed that it was a gaydar instance.

 

As the cool kids say, “he been knew.”

 

He knew that Keith was gay since Keith was sixteen and came out to both him and Adam. They were both absolutely thrilled. That evening, the trio went out for dinner to celebrate. It was a fantastic and prideful night.

 

Shiro wanted Lance and Keith together. He knew that he had to do something while still respecting Lance’s wishes to keep this a secret.

 

Shiro cleared his throat. “How's the dorm?”

 

“Mmm, boring.” Keith twirled a strand of dark hair. “I kinda wanna get out. It’s Friday, after all. Might take the shuttle bus somewhere.” Shiro noticed that he was in his regular clothes and not his Garrison uniform.

 

“I feel you.” That’s when the perfect idea clicked in his mind. He had a perfect, almost foolproof resolution to the problem.

 

“You want to go out to the Cyber Cafe later? They just reopened. You can go right now if you want. I still have some things I need to do, like set up the apartment. I’ll catch up with you later.”

 

Keith sat up, getting a hair tie from his jacket pocket and pulling his hair into a ponytail. Shiro always liked his hair up even though he usually had his hair down. “Yeah sure, I’ll leave in five.”

 

As Keith was getting ready, Shiro got out his phone and sent a message to Lance asking if he wanted to meet up at the same location. When he agreed, Shiro smirked and leaned back on the bed.

 

What could possibly go wrong?

 

\-----

 

That night, at around 2am, Shiro couldn’t sleep. The door slowly opened, and Keith walked in.

 

“Oh, hey Keith. How did it go?”

 

“You said you couldn’t come, you big dick. I was stuck there with Lance the entire night. You’re a fucking liar.” Keith took off his jacket and climbed up in his bed, pissed as hell.

 

“Oh yeah, sorry about that.”

 

“Y’know, something crazy happened. It was like fate was pulling everything together, and I felt this crazy energy.”

 

“What happened?”

 

There was a beat of silence.

 

“Lance and I are dating now.”

 

Shiro couldn’t believe it. His plan worked! “That’s great!”

 

“Tell the others and I’ll bury you alive.” Keith’s tone was sinister and extremely serious. He seemed like a force to be reckoned with

 

“Got it. I’ll make sure to stay on your good side.”

 

Shiro thought back to previous sweet afternoons spent in that cafe with Adam.

 

“I met Adam in that same cafe.” He smiled. “There’s something special about that place.”

 

The bed squeaked from above him. “Yeah. I guess there is.”

 

\-----

 

Adam was released from the hospital three days later and put into a daily counseling program. The program consisted of a mix between individual and group therapy sessions. He had just got back from his first session, which was individual. He simply headed to the apartment right after. Shiro was waiting for him on the couch.

 

“You’re back.”

 

“So are you. Guess you weren’t dead in space after all.” He proceeded to set his bag on the kitchen counter.

 

“How was therapy?”

 

“Okay, I guess. Do you have anything to eat around here?”

 

“Yeah. There’s some frozen pizzas in the freezer.” Shiro normally couldn't cook to save his life, but he thought that Adam would appreciate them and be willing to cook them.

 

Adam opened the freezer door and pulled out a pizza box. “Supreme rising crust. And my favorite brand, too. You remembered.”

 

Shiro chuckled. “How could I ever forget?”

 

“You’d be surprised.”

 

Shiro put on some random TV channel in order to kill time. Adam joined him after putting the pizza in the oven, sitting very close to him but avoiding cuddling. After the pizza finished cooking, the two sat at the kitchen and enjoyed the meal like it was their last, although in their case it was their first meal together in years.

 

Afterwards, they were both stuffed and ready for bed. They both sat down on the bed without taking off their uniforms first.

 

Now, they were both facing each other. Shiro knew exactly what was going to happen next. And he wasn't ready for it.

 

“I guess we’re going to take our clothes off now, huh?”

 

Adam’s hands gripped the end of his shirt. He was about to pull up on it, but he hesitated.

 

Shiro could see that he was uncomfortable, perhaps for the same reason that he was. He came up with a solution.

 

“Close your eyes and undress, but keep your underwear on. We’ll let each other know when we’re ready. I’ll count to three. After three, we’ll open our eyes.”

 

He nodded in response. Then they both closed their eyes. Shiro fumbled for the ends of his uniform shirt, lifted it off, and tossed it aside. He did the same with his undershirt and his pants.

 

“I’m ready,” he said.

 

He waited for a response. “I’m ready,” said the other man.

 

A moment passed that seemed like a lifetime.

 

“One-”

 

Shiro’s heart raced. Did he really want Adam to see him like this? He had to know eventually.

 

“Two-”

 

Or worse, what if Adam was even worse? Could he handle it?

 

“Three.”

 

They opened their eyes, and suddenly they were completely exposed.

 

Shiro was right. Adam was worse. Even worse than what he thought.

The first thing Shiro had noticed was a burn scar, extremely large in size, across his entire left side. It appeared rather grotesque, but almost as if the healing process was slightly unnatural. Shiro noticed this detail from the wound he had received from Haggar after it had healed in the cryo-pod.

 

His body was completely covered in scars. They ranged in types. Some were slices. Others were burns. Others were claw marks. Others were bite marks. Others were marks that he couldn’t quite determine the cause of.

 

Shiro’s scars were nothing compared to his. He only had seventeen noticeable ones excluding the scar across his nose. Adam had way more than that. It was almost uncountable. It made Shiro’s heart break a little.

 

He also noticed that Adam was a lot more muscular than before. Now he had a six pack, biceps, and toned legs. He was ripped - on account of his muscles and his skin.

 

He hadn’t noticed that Adam was glancing at Shiro’s body, moving his head up and down. He couldn’t tell how he was feeling, if anything at all.

 

Finally Adam said, “I win.”

 

Shiro knew that Adam was competitive, but this was too much. “This isn’t a competition.”

 

“I know. Just trying to lighten the mood.” He paused. “So you were captured by them too, right? For how long?”

 

“A year or so.”

 

“I guess a couple more years makes a big difference.” He leaned back on his pillow. “You were probably more alert than I was, too.”

 

“What do you mean by that?”

 

“I would often zone out a lot. Sometimes it would happen in the middle of a battle. I would completely black out for a couple seconds to even minutes at times. That’s how I got most of these.” He looked at the burn scar that consumed his entire left side. “Well, most of them. I got this one from the crash.”

 

Shiro frowned, looking away slightly. “I got mine just from various things. Sometimes I would incorrectly calculate a jump, or I would get attacked from behind before I could even look.”

 

“How did you get this one?” Adam pointed to the scar on his nose.

 

“Oh, that one.” He had hoped that he wouldn't have been asked about any of his scars, but of course that had to happen. He didn’t want to talk about it, but he did anyway. “I was muzzled.” He couldn’t remember much of the incident except that he had been chained up and restrained like an animal. Red liquid streamed down his face, and at some point light tears became mixed with it, almost invisible by the darkness of the hall. The Galra leashing him looked at him and laughed. It was almost like his suffering had been used for entertainment. He shivered. “They had me chained up and stuff.”

 

“Oh…” Adam stared at the ceiling. “I’m sorry.”

 

“No need to be.” Another thought crossed his mind. “Oh yeah, and Adam?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Never be ashamed of them.”

 

Shiro usually wasn’t the type of guy to be self-conscious about his scars. He would think about them, but he never considered them to play a huge role in his life. However, this was the first night in a while that he was self-conscious. He was just scared of what Adam was going to think.

 

He didn’t know how Adam thought about his scars, but he wanted to give him the reassurance just in case.

 

Adam smiled at him. “I won’t be.”

 

They turned off the lights and dove underneath the covers, and for once, Shiro felt like he was at home. Because he was at home. He was once again in their old apartment, lost in Adam’s hair and clinging onto him protectively. Adam didn’t seem to mind this. He appeared to be enjoying it, actually.

 

Shiro wanted nothing else in that moment. Nothing.


	5. Every Other Freckle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro and Adam visit their favorite cafe and go on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry that it took me so long to update! I’ve been extremely busy with school and auditions for a project. Thank you for understanding. The good news is that this chapter is rather long.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter mentions killing and briefly discusses symptoms of trauma. The end note might also potentially cause some anxiety. Aside from that, this chapter is mostly fluff. Enjoy!

It had been so many years ago. They were both fifteen.

 

Shiro was sitting in the Cyber Cafe one afternoon studying for his first chemistry exam of the school year the following day. It was rumored that somehow his teacher always managed to make her tests unbeatable. His end goal was to get the highest grade in the class. He was quite the overachiever.

 

It was Throwback Thursday, so the cafe played songs from the 2010s. Shiro thought that many great albums came out around this time. Regardless of what played on the popular radio, he always preferred these songs. That’s why he loved being at the cafe every Thursday.

 

A song started playing, and he instantly recognized it. It was one of his favorite songs. He didn’t feel one hundred percent comfortable singing in public. But he decided to do it on the lowkey. He hoped that no one would see him.

“Hey, um, hi…”

 

_Well, fuck._

 

He turned to face the voice, and he was instantly taken aback. In front of him was perhaps the cutest guy he had ever seen. He had chocolate brown hair and the cutest eyes hidden behind glasses without a top rim. He then noticed his clothing. This mysterious boy wore an old T-shirt, beige trench coat, and jeans that fit around his legs, yet sagged a little. To top it off, he wore black boots and a leather shoulder bag. Shiro thought his outfit seemed rather hipster-ish, but he considered it to look really cute.

 

This boy looked very cute. Did he mention that?

 

The nervous hipster looked at him with caution, his hand behind his neck. “I-uh-I didn't think anyone knew that song besides me.”

 

Shiro heavily related to that. He was rather pleased that someone had shared his interests. “It's my favorite song.”

 

“Mine too! You have a really lovely singing voice, too.” The boy blushed. “Can I sit here?”

 

“Oh, uh, sure. Go ahead.”

 

The boy sat across from him at the table. “I'm Adam Wright. We're in chemistry together.”

 

Shiro was quite confused that they were in the same class together. “Oh, really? I don't think I’ve seen you before.”

 

“Well you were absent for the first day of classes. You missed the good old class introductions.”

 

The reason that Shiro had been out of school that day was because he was at a checkup. He had noticed that something was off about him. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he just felt strange. His current doctor was unable to figure out what was wrong, so he was scheduled for another appointment with a different doctor in two weeks. It’s been on his mind a lot lately, but he tried not to think about it. Worrying only made things worse.

 

Still, he was surprised that apparently this guy had taken notice of him prior to this afternoon.

 

“Oh. Yeah, sorry. I was at an appointment.”

 

“It’s fine. I was absent the first day of seventh grade and it took me twice as long to remember everyone’s names, so I feel you.”

 

The two sat in silence for a while until the mysterious boy named Adam spoke.

 

“You still haven’t told me your name.”

 

Shiro stumbled. “Oh, my name. My name is Takashi Shirogay-” He immediately stopped when he noticed his mistake. “Ah, fuck, shit, sorry! My name is Takashi Shirogane, but everyone just calls me Shiro.”

 

Shiro noticed that Adam was blushing a little, and he appeared surprised. He was unsure why.

 

“Mmm, I prefer Takashi,” said Adam.

 

“As you wish, Alex.”

 

“My name is Adam.”

 

“Ah, sorry. I’m really bad with names. I can’t even remember my own name.”

 

“Heh, I see, Takashi Shirogay.”

 

They laughed for a while.

 

“Okay, why don’t we talk to each other without saying our names?” said Shiro.

 

“That would be a better alternative.” Adam looked at Shiro’s chemistry notebook. “You ready for the quiz tomorrow?”

 

“Who, me? Hell no.” He crossed his arms over his leather jacket and leaned back. “But really, I think I got this under control for the most part. I’m just reviewing.”

  
“Can I join you?”

 

“Uh, sure.”

The two spent hours going over their notes and reviewing each other. Even though Shiro liked studying alone half of the time, he was actually having fun. He had to admit that he got distracted a few times. Considering Shiro normally had no trouble focusing at all, this said a lot. Adam was that attractive.

 

They stopped when there were only three more trains headed to the Garrison on time before curfew.

 

“So, you want to stop here?” Adam asked.

 

“That seems like a good idea. We wouldn’t want Iverson yelling at us for being out past curfew.”

 

As Adam was packing up, Shiro realized that was the perfect time for him to make his move. “Can I give you my number?”

 

The other guy was practically frozen. He dropped the notebook that he was holding. “Oh, yeah, sure. Let me give you my phone.”

 

The two exchanged phones to add themselves into each other’s contacts. After they were done, they swapped phones once again.

 

“So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Takashi.”

 

“Unless someone starts a fire, or we get abducted by aliens, then yeah.”

 

Adam giggled at the ridiculousness of the thought. “Actually, you want to catch the train together?”

 

Shiro happily agreed. The two walked out together, chatting about various things. This continued when they got on the train, and even when they were walking back to their dorms. They said goodbye to each other, then Shiro shut the door behind him, sighing.

 

His roomate, Daniel, looked up from his phone. “You seem happy.”

 

Shiro slipped his backpack off his shoulders and sat on the bottom bunk. “Yeah. I guess you could say that.”

 

\-----

 

Everything seemed so different when they were teens. Back then, getting abducted by aliens seemed like an absurd thought to the two of them.

 

Boy, were they both wrong.

 

Shiro had finally slept decently for the first time in a week. It felt reassuring that Adam was okay. He could see him. He could hear his voice. He could touch him.

 

But he didn’t feel the same. What was once skin on his right arm was now metal. His glasses were no longer there. Scars covered nearly every square inch of his body. This was extremely hard to get used to.

 

He couldn't help but feel guilty. He knew that he was the cause of this. If it hadn't been for him, none of this would be there. Adam would have his glasses, and his arm, and his seemingly flawless skin. He wouldn't have had to endure years of suffering.

 

Shiro was only captured for a year. Adam was captured for three. He couldn't even imagine the hell he had been through.

 

He twisted and turned in the sheets. Adam is still asleep. He wanted to stay there with him, but he had things to do. He got up and quickly got ready. Before he left, he picked up an old photo of them.

 

They were so different back then. Everything was different. Shiro could barely even recognize his younger self. Adam remained recognizable in the slightest, but he had still changed quite a lot.

 

The photo in contrast to their current appearances was such an unlikely comparison. It seemed almost surreal.

 

Shiro knew that he had to get over this. There was nothing he could do.

 

He left the room, leaving the sleeping man by himself.

 

\-----

 

The following day after the two teenagers met, Shiro was genuinely excited all day in anticipation for chemistry class. Not for the test, but for one reason only.

 

Shiro approached Adam in a suave manner, dodging around the people that were standing. “As William Shakespeare once said, ‘hello.’”

 

Adam looked up from his handcrafted notes. He smiles, his eyes closing. “Oh, Takashi! You ready for the test?”

 

“You know I am. I studied even after I got back to my dorm.”

 

He seemed impressed by this. “Oh, yeah? Well I studied in my dorm as well.”

 

“Guess we’ll have to see who has the higher grade in the end.”

 

The teacher moved towards the two, her arms crossed in deprecation. “Mr. Shirogane! Head to your seat.”

 

Shiro looked around the room in alarm. Much to his surprise, everyone else was sitting. He must have not noticed.

 

He blushed slightly. “Yes, ma'am.”

 

Adam shrugged as Shiro maked his way over to his seat.

 

The teacher handed out the tests. Shiro worked his ass off during the allotted time, furiously circling and bubbling. He felt confident about most of it, but he was nervous that his brain was tricking him or that Adam would get the higher grade.

 

The day after, they received their scores. The both got the same grade: a 92. They were both somewhat satisfied, but not entirely.

 

“I’ll get a higher grade than you next time, Shirogay.”

 

\-----

 

Shiro longed for those days when they would always compete over everything and Adam still nicknamed him after his dreaded last name slip-up. Everything is different now. Nothing will ever be the same.

 

But what in life actually stayed the same?

 

He worked on organizing resources for the castle for around thirty minutes before checking back in on Adam again.

 

Adam was awake. He sat on the couch with a coffee in hand, wearing his uniform, looking at the space on the wall above the TV. He didn't even turn to look when the door opened. He seemed completely out of it.

 

“Thriving off of coffee, just like I remembered.” Shiro chuckled but stopped after noticing that Adam had no physical reaction. “Hey, Adam? Adam…”

 

Adam flinched out of nowhere. He looked around at Shiro, then around the room. “Takashi.”

 

“Were you zoning out?”

 

“Uh, yeah. That happens sometimes.” He took another sip from his coffee mug.

 

“How long has this been going on?” Shiro was genuinely concerned.

 

Adam shivered a little. “Pretty much three weeks or so after I was captured. So a few years.”

 

“A few years…”

 

Adam stood up after finishing his coffee, bringing it into the kitchen. “I’m just dying to get out of this lonely, god-forsaken hell hole of an apartment. I want to see Keith again.”

 

“He’s been wanting to see you too. He’s outside organizing the materials for the castle.” He imagined Keith where he saw him last. “Do you want to see him right now?”

 

“Yeah. I’d love that.” He paused. “When Commander Holt arrived on Earth, he gave me something. It was a message from you.”

 

Shiro was genuinely surprised. So much has happened since then that he almost completely forgot about it. “Oh?”

 

“Yeah. I was still pretty pissed at you then, but then I heard that message. I was relieved, but also-” He stopped there. “I don't really know what to say. I just wanted to let you know that I got it. I might need to listen to it again. If my mind allows me to recreate the feeling I felt back then. I might want to talk to you about it more later.”

 

Shiro was hoping for a better reaction. Maybe “I love you so much and wanted to marry you again after listening to your message?” But all he got was “I just wanted to let you know that I got it.” What the hell was that supposed to mean?

 

“Oh, okay I guess.” Shiro began to angle his body towards the door. “You coming?”

 

“Might as well.”

 

Adam grabbed his bag off the counter, and the two of them left the apartment.

 

\-----

 

Shiro and Adam walked outside to where the Atlas was being updated, casually holding hands. The site wasn't that far away, so they got there within minutes.

 

On the way there, several people stared. They were in complete amazement that Adam was still alive and with Shiro, who was practically a celebrity even before he went to Kerberos. Shiro wasn't sure how he felt about this, so he turned to Adam. He appeared to not care for the attention, and maybe even hating it a little. Shiro couldn't blame him.

 

When they got to the site, everyone stared in amazement. They seemed to automatically know who Adam was. The crew’s jaws were open, and they were speechless.

 

Shiro and Adam finally stopped. They faced the crew, still holding hands.

 

“So…” Shiro began. “This is Adam Wright. He is-” He remembered that the marriage agreement was unofficial. “-was my fiance.”

 

The entire group seemed happy to see and meet him. Pidge and Hunk were even squealing.

 

Allura approached him, hand outstretched. “Hello. My name is Princess Allura.” She gestured to the other two Alteans. “This is Coran and Romelle. We come from the planet of Altea. You must be Adam, obviously.”

 

Adam accepted the handshake. “You are correct. It is an honor to meet you.”

 

Pidge was the next to greet him. “My name is Pidge.” She gestured to Hunk standing next to her. “This guy’s Hunk. Shiro told us all about you.”

 

Adam blushed. “Wha- He did?”

 

Hunk laughed. “Yeah, duh. Why wouldn’t he?”

 

“Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t exactly been the kindest.”

 

Lance was nervous to re-introduce himself to Adam. “Uh, hi. The name’s Lance. I had you for a class a while back? Not sure if you remember me or not.”

 

“I remember you.” Adam smiled. “You were one of my favorite students. I saw a lot of myself in you.”

 

Lance was surprised to hear this. “Really?”

 

“Yeah. I was kinda like you when I was your age.”

 

“You but with a darker sense of humor and sarcasm.” Shiro thought back to their teen years. Adam seemed shy when they first met, but he slowly started turning into- well, Lance. He actually liked it though. They would tease each other constantly over various aspects.

 

Lance rubbed the back of his neck. “You’ve been such an inspiration to me all these years. You were one of my favorite teachers. You cared about me when no one else did. You’ve even inspired me in other ways more recently.” Shiro knew exactly what he meant, even though he never directly said anything about it at this moment.

 

“That means a lot to me. Well, just keep being yourself. Cherish this.”

 

Adam’s words burned. Shiro missed the old Adam enough as he did. He didn’t need any other reminders.

 

Lastly, Keith walked up to Adam, nearly freezing in his tracks. The two stared at each other shockingly.

 

“Adam,” he began. “It’s good to see you.”

 

“It’s good to see you too. I can’t believe it. You went from being this kid that Shiro arrived with one day to being the black paladin of Voltron.” He grinned. “I’m so proud of you.”

 

“Heh, thanks.”

 

Adam looked at the rest of the group. “I’m proud of all of you, really. Without you, Earth wouldn’t stand a chance.”

 

All of them shared a quiet, feel-good moment. Shiro felt safe, warm, and lucky to have this moment.

 

Then Kosmo ran up to Adam, and the moment was broken, faded into the abyss.

 

Adam shrieked, stepping back in horror. Kosmo nearly tackled him, frightening the man even more. “GET YOUR FUCKING DOG, KEITH! GET YOUR FUCKING DOG!”

 

Keith just stood there, arms crossed, with an amused look on his face. “He doesn’t bite.”

 

“YES HE DOES, GET-”

 

Shiro redirected Kosmo off of him. He simply returned to Keith.

 

Adam was deathly afraid of wolves. It all started when he was on a family camping trip, and he heard growling outside his tent. He went outside to look, and he saw a wolf, aggressive and hostile. He had been frightened by the idea of wolves and camping in general ever since.

 

“Sorry,” said Keith. “He was just excited I guess.”

 

Adam stood there, still speechless. “It’s alright. Wolves just make me nervous, that’s all.”

 

“Oh yeah. I forgot. I apologize.”

 

“Just keep an eye on him, okay? What’s his name?”

 

“He’ll tell me his-”

 

Lance intervened. “Kosmo. His name is Kosmo.”

 

Keith crossed his arms. “I never agreed to that name.”

 

“What, you seriously thought that he would tell you his name?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Lance shook his head in disapproval, then looked at Adam. “You see what I have to deal with? Unbelievable.”

 

Shiro looked at Adam. “Once again, they’re basically us when we were teens.”

 

“I can see that.” He looked at the Atlas being modified. “Can I help?”

 

“Sure,” said Allura. "We could always use the extra help."

 

For hours, up until Adam’s therapy appointment, they worked on organizing the materials for the Atlas. A few of the paladins even had to make multiple trips into space. By the end of the day, they had nearly everything they needed for it. They decided to call it a day.

 

Adam turned to Shiro. “I’ll see you in an hour, Shakespeare. Okay?”

 

Shiro liked the reference to what he said after seeing Adam before their first chemistry exam. It made him warm on the inside once again. “Yeah. Meet at the apartment. I wanted to go to the cafe afterwards, if that’s okay with you. Then maybe we could go somewhere else.”

 

Adam began to walk back towards the building. “That sounds good. I’ll see you then.”

 

They waved goodbye, and Shiro was glad that everything worked out.

 

\-----

 

An hour later, Adam met up with Shiro at the apartment just like the night before, and changed into an old white button-up with a tie. Shiro’s outfit was his classic leather jacket and a t-shirt. They soon took the train to the cafe.

 

Everything felt different. So much had changed, yet so much had stayed the same. The energy was there, but the cafe had changed over time. After undergoing several renovations, it was almost unrecognizable.

 

They ordered their food and sat at the booth that they usually sat at. The furniture had changed, but the memories still felt bold and new.

 

Shiro took a break from eating to talk to Adam. “So you had group therapy today, huh?”

 

He nodded.

 

“What was it like?”

 

“It was alright.” He nudged at his food with his fork. “Just a group of people affected by the invasion gathered around a circle to stare at me strangely. Nothing new.”

 

“I know how that feels. It's like everyone is staring at me in particular. It feels weird.”

 

Silent moments passed until Shiro cleared his throat. “I know this may be painful to talk about, but do you want to talk about it? Not the group therapy, but-”

 

Adam seemed to know exactly what he was talking about. He looked down at his food. “My body can give you most of the answer. You’ve seen it already.”

 

“And your hand-”

 

“Don't talk about my hand!” He stood within half of a second, slamming his fork and leaning over the table while using his hands as support. Shiro flinched. Nearly everyone in the room turned to look.

 

“I-” Shiro paused when he saw everyone staring at them with perplexed eyes. He didn't speak until they turned away to resume their normal activities. “I know how hard this is to talk about. Look at me. I lost mine too; the exact same way you lost yours. I know the pain.” He paused once again, this time mirroring over himself. “All I ask of you is that you avoid bottling your emotions at all cost. Keeping it in will destroy you. Trust me, I know from experience. I don't even care if you choose to share this information with someone else and not me. Just… don't keep it in, okay?”

 

All Adam could do was nod.

 

“Do you at least mind telling me how you survived the crash?”

 

Adam remained silent. Moments later, he sighed. “I don't know how I survived, but I did. I was pretty hurt afterwards, though. My entire left side burned like hell from the fire, and I was cut pretty badly from debris. I tried to leave the pod to find somewhere safe, but I was spotted on the ground and captured. When I woke up, I was in a cell.” He shivered, folding his arms over his chest. “They threw me in some sort of pod that healed my wounds, and after I finished healing, I was put under a series of tests and evaluations. I scored the highest out of anyone there and earned a score of excellence compared to “average” and “poor”, so they corrected my vision and forced me to fight in the gladiator arena. Shortly after-” He looked at his prosthetic. “It’s like they turned me into some sort of super weapon.”

 

The former black paladin simply nodded. It was almost as if they shared the same thoughts.

 

“The people experimenting on me seemed extra cautious. They wanted to make sure that I wouldn't turn against them, and they were willing to do whatever it took.” He fidgeted with his fork. “You don't know what I’m capable of. You’ve never seen me fight. You’ve never seen me kill so many innocent people, including children. Including-" He looked up at Shiro, then back down at his plate. "I don’t know about this.”

 

“Stop right there.” Their fingers intertwined. “We need to get through this together. I won’t let you go through this alone.”

 

Adam snarled. “But I’m a monster, Takashi. Something doesn't feel right.”

 

“Don't worry. Everything will be fine. I won’t leave you again.”

 

“Takashi?”

 

The two sat in a long, uncomfortable silence.

 

“I told you about my experience. What was yours like?”

 

There was no way Shiro could back out. Adam finally built up the courage to talk about his past experiences. He needed to do the same. He was glad that he had talked about it with Keith and Hunk weeks before, so he assumed that this would be easier now that he knows he’s capable of talking about it. He pulled his moist hand away from Adam’s.

 

“It feels like-”

 

He gulped.

 

“It feels like-”

 

He wanted to say it, but the words weren't coming out.

 

“-like it never stopped.”

 

Adam looked at him with pure confusion. Perhaps he didn't understand what exactly he meant by this. Or, Adam wanted to hear more.

 

“How so?”

 

Shiro thought back to those sleepless nights, those slumbers awoken by nightmares, the hell of flashbacks that came at the worst of times and struck fear deep into his soul. “I developed amnesia while I was escaping, but I slowly began to uncover my memories. I couldn't stop replaying them in my head. They were horrible.” He pulled his legs closer to his body. “It’s the reason I have this fear of being captured again. It even makes me afraid to sleep some nights.”

 

Adam placed his hand on top of Shiro’s. “I used to have nightmares so often. They were absolutely sickening. I know what that’s like.”

 

“And the things I had to do in the ring. I had to attack my own friend to save his life. And then, I’ve been forced to kill. I always tried not to, but one time I struck too deep. They died a slow and painful death…” Shiro winced and shivered, just like Adam did while explaining his memories. “It was hell, Adam. I never want you, me, or anyone to go through that again.”

 

The other man was speechless. He simply frowned, taking his other hand and placing it on top of his. “Your past doesn't define you.”

 

“Neither does yours.”

 

“But you don’t understand, 'Kashi. They poisoned my mind with new instincts. You avoided killing. I killed nearly every single defeated opponent in life-or-death matches. I didn't want them to suffer. I know how to kill.” There was silence. “Eventually killing my opponents felt like nothing to me.”

 

“You don't have to live with that mindset anymore.” Shiro stood up, holding his hand out. “Come with me. I want to take you somewhere.”

 

\-----

 

By the time they arrived to their destination, dusk was in its beginning stages. The sun casted a pink lemonade aura to the sky surrounding it. The desert sand was tainted a sunkissed brown. It was a truly remarkable sight. Shiro missed this while he was in space.

 

Adam took several steps forward, more and more, until he stood facing the sunset with a great distance between him and Shiro. The former black paladin couldn't see his facial expression, but he could clearly tell that he was crossing his arms.

 

Shiro filled the gap between them until there was nothing but an imaginary sticky marshmallow swamp holding them down. It was a feeling quite rare.

 

Adam’s facial expression was now readable. Like Shiro expected, it was blank. However, there were trace elements of confliction. His eyebrows were slightly fused, his jaw was tight, and the corners of his scarred mouth stretched downward across his face in an unnatural way. Something was wrong.

 

“The sunset is nice,” said Shiro.

 

“Yeah. I missed sunsets.”

 

“I did too.”

 

They looked at the sherbet sky an extra time.

 

“Adam?”

 

The brown-haired man turned to look. “Yeah?”

 

“You sorta snapped earlier back at the cafe. Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine, just…” He averted his gaze away from Shiro and back to the sunset. “It’s just hard to talk about.”

 

“I get it.”

 

“But enough about me.” The two made tense eye contact. “What about you?”

 

“What about me?”

 

“It’s clear that you’ve been just as affected as me. If not, you’re suffering more.” Adam held Shiro’s prosthetic hand in his own. “I’ve learned not to feel. But you-” He hesitated. “-You have to deal with these horrible memories and all this trauma with fresh emotions. It must be horrible.”

 

Adam’s words stood out to him. He processed the words over and over again in his head.

 

When there’s too much water, winter comes and freezes over the ocean. The liquid becomes cold, solid ice. The winter makes the environment too cold for it to melt. It stays that way.

 

The water in the cityscape of Shiro’s mind was flooded, with the process of being evaporated. That would take time to occur.

 

“It kind of is,” he finally said. “I’ve learned to deal with it though. Sort of.”

 

Adam frowned even more. “Takashi, I can tell when you’re lying.”

 

“You can?”

 

“Yeah. You start shaking and sweating a little and you face freezes in place.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“You're a terrible liar.”

 

“I guess I am.” There was more silence. “My problems are none of your concern.”

 

“They will be if we decide to get married again.”

 

This simple ten-word sentence gave Shiro hope. Perhaps Adam was still considering the wedding.

 

But if they decided to get married or even stay together, then they would need to be completely open and honest, with little secrets between them.

 

“Look,” the white-haired man started. “This is something you’ll likely find out about yourself. I hate to say this, but it’s true.” He speculated on the extremely high probability of a nightmare or a flashback, and a possible panic attack following these events. He dreaded the thought, but he knew it would come eventually. He just didn't know when.

 

“I’m okay with waiting.” He flashed a quick smile, then leaded Shiro towards the gardens.

 

The gardens was a place that the two of them fell in love with countless years ago. It was the perfect romantic getaway, and the best part was not too many people knew about it or went there. Even if they did, the place was large enough for privacy.

 

Upon entry underneath the rocky archway, they were greeted by a pathway formed by trees. The location of the gardens was nestled between cliffs, so that added to the privacy factor. The two weren't even sure how trees like this could grow in this type of climate, but the proof was in front of them. Everything felt bizarre, yet perfect at the same time.

 

One of the garden’s main attractions is the pond and a very small river going around the valley. There were boats scattered around throughout the pond. They gathered near the edge where the current emptied off.

 

Shiro took Adam by the hand and lead him to the boat that was closest to them. It only took a moment to readjust the boat so that it was safe to board.

 

“After you, princess,” Shiro said with a smirk.

 

Adam narrowed his eyes and grinned very slightly, then got into the boat with the help of Shiro. After Shiro got in, they began to row away from the bank and towards the river.

 

The water was as calm as Shiro remembered: the complete opposite of his mind most of the time. Trees were gently swaying, and the sky turned a plum hue. This seemed to have a positive effect on the both of them.

 

“It’s been so long,” said Adam.

 

“You bet.”

 

Adam paused. “For some reason, you seem like less of a dumb-ass. Slightly.”

 

“And you’re disappointed.”

 

“I guess.”

 

“Okay, let's get this gay.” He turned to face Adam. “Are you a morosexual or not?”

 

“Yeah, because you’re the biggest dumb-ass I know.” Adam playfully shoved Shiro a little too hard. He fell back in the boat and started giggling. Adam joined in shortly after.

 

The two took forever to calm themselves down.

 

“I can't believe it. You come out and rescue me, completely ripped with a six-pack made of steel, and then you topple over with something as simple as a shove.”

 

“You caught me off guard, okay?” Shiro waited for Adam to respond, but he didn't, so he decided to change the subject. “What did you think of the paladins?”

 

“They seem nice.” Adam looked up at the night sky. “I’m familiar with Lance. Hunk, I’ve seen a couple of times. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Pidge before. And Keith. God, Keith. One minute we were practically raising him. Then I blink and he's all grown up, saving the universe and shit.”

 

“He’s grown so much. You wouldn't even believe it.”

 

“I could tell just by looking at him.”

 

Out of curiosity, he wanted to ask something. “What about me? What could you tell about me?”

 

Adam shifted uncomfortably, and Shiro regretted asking the question.

 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn't have-”

 

“No, I’ll answer.” He took a deep breath. “You look older. Like, really older. Enough to be someone’s grandpa.”

 

Shiro frowned. “Do I really look that old?”

 

“Nah, you look like some trendy dude that just graduated college and decided to dye their hair for a change. Speaking of which, why is your hair white?”

 

“Oh, uh…”

 

Adam gazed into his eyes expectantly.

 

“I’d rather not talk about it now.”

 

He seemed disappointed, but he let off. “You don't have to tell me now. Just promise that you'll tell me eventually.”

 

Shiro wanted to bury this and never tell Adam, but what was he supposed to do? He couldn't lie because he would see right through it. There was no other way around this. Not that he could think of. “I promise.”

 

He looked back at the water. “But overall, what do I think? I think you still look like a huge fucking dumb-ass. Especially running away like that. Twice: once before you fucked off to Kerberos and again after you crashed and you were put under quarantine and I tried to rescue you, but then Keith knocked me out. What the fuck, man.”

 

Even though he had arguable reasons as to why he left, he felt that if he had done something differently, then things would have turned out fine. “I guess I _am_ a dumb-ass.”

 

Adam leaned extremely close to Shiro and grabbed him by the collar. “You may be a dumb-ass, but you're _my_ dumb-ass.”

 

Before Shiro could blink, Adam’s hands were squeezing his face, and he quickly learned in more, their lips touching.

 

Many thoughts and feelings were flowing through Shiro’s mind at that moment. He was shocked that Adam made such a bold move. He was angry at himself for leaving Adam like that, yet he also felt that his actions could easily be justified. He was blue that this wasn't the same Adam he knew before he left. He was scared because of all the things that could go wrong. Despite all of these negative emotions, the positive ones outweighed the negative. His heart fluttered, his body transcended, and he felt warm and secure for just this once. The electricity, previously bereft, was finally present.

 

Shiro thrived off of this energy. He craved it, yet he didn't know how much he needed it until the paladins rescued Adam. When he gazed into those brown eyes, he knew just how much he truly missed him.

 

Adam finally pulled away slowly, eyes still closed. They opened once he was leaning further back. Shiro could not possibly piece together the emotions his face expressed. He appeared to be content, yet also lost in a continuous and shocked thought process.

Shiro was curious and wanted to know. “What did you think?”

 

“I felt it.” He didn't make eye contact. “I felt the energy. That electricity. It’s still alive.”

 

“I knew it wasn't gone for good.” He stopped talking for a moment to redirect the boat on course. “Do you think you're starting to feel emotions again?”

 

“A little. It's still going to take a while to recover.”

 

“Right.”

 

The boat turned a corner, and a gazebo came into view. It instantly gave Shiro a happy feeling.

 

“Ah, I remember that day.” Adam gazed at the moonlit gazebo, eaten alive by vines and the void of time. “We were right here. Do you remember?”

 

That night many years ago, Shiro brought Adam to this location to share the grim news that he was slowly dying. After Shiro had discussed everything he had been meaning to say, Adam got down on one knee and asked Shiro to marry him and stay by his side until the very end. Shiro knew that this would result in a broken heart, but he accepted the proposal anyways. He loved him _that_ much.

 

“How could I ever forget?”

 

The bank was now clear of shrubbery, and Shiro took this opportunity to steer the boat over to land.

 

“You better not let the boat go,” said Adam, his lips forming into a smirk.

 

“I won't.” The two got out of the boat, and Shiro brought the boat safely on land. “Besides, there’s a trail that goes around the creek to the entrance.”

 

“But that’s twice as long and less romantic,” Adam whined.

 

“We’ll find a way to make it romantic if that's what it comes down to.”

 

The two held hands, metal clasped in skin, and wandered around the area. Each sight resurfacing heavy nostalgia. Shiro knew that normally Adam would hold back sobs when faced with nostalgia, but his expression was still blank and nearly lifeless. His eyes had more life than before, but something was still off.

 

Adam led Shiro to the wooden gazebo platform. It was worn and creaky, a few boards almost shifting in place. Shiro could have sworn that the platform wasn't always like this.

 

Two hands - one familiar and one foreign - gently inched their way down a buff waist. The sensation was warm and welcoming, almost like an aesthetically pleasing and charming front door. More and more of the old Adam was coming back, and Shiro craved it.

 

He wanted more.

 

Putting his hands on his lover’s shoulders, he leaned in for a kiss, which turned into even more kisses after that. He didn't want to stop even for a second. After what seemed like an endless amount of kisses, Adam tried to speak.

 

“Takashi-” He giggled as Shiro gave another few kisses. “Seriously, stop for a second. I wanted to do something else here tonight.”

 

Shiro was losing his shit. Was Adam going to propose to him? Again? Twice? His heart beated madly in his chest.

 

“And what is that?” he said with a shaky and weak voice.

 

“You know that date we were gonna go on right before you fucked off into space? We were going to take a dancing class for our wedding.”

 

In all honesty, Shiro was underwhelmed, but still listening. “Oh, yeah.” This was a lie. He actually didn't remember.

 

“No offense, but you’re not the best at dancing. You’re pretty terrible at it, actually. For our supposed wedding, I couldn't have your dancing look like you were trying to get a bug off of you. Because that's what you look like when you dance.”  
  


_Couldn't_ , not _can’t_. So much for the so called proposal.

 

Shiro was trying not to laugh. “Okay, we get it, I suck.”

 

“Which is why I want to dance with you here tonight to make up for lost times.” Adam pulled his phone out of his pocket and quickly loaded a song. He turned the volume up and sat it on the wooden railing of the balcony.

 

Adam turned to face him, eyes softly examining their body movements. Adam was an excellent dancer. Shiro, not so much. Their dancing would always collide somehow, and the whole sight would be a huge gay disaster. In other words, their “dancing” would be the two of them making out, their bodies pinned against solid wall.

 

“Okay, follow my lead,” said Adam. His gentle grasp on Shiro’s waist persuaded him to sway back and forth. Shiro gave into the rhythm, and he adapted to the pattern. The two were dancing in sync to the song.

 

Adam took Shiro’s hand and raised his arm up, giving Shiro an open invitation to spin. He accepted this opportunity, and time seemed to stop. The only thing that mattered at that moment was this.

 

They continued to dance to the music around the gazebo platform, Adam notably being extra careful in guiding Shiro’s movements. To Shiro’s surprise, there were very little mishaps. They pulled inspiration from many types of dance, yet everything seemed to flow together seamlessly.

 

Nearing the end of the song, Adam grabbed the back of Shiro's waist and dipped him. Adam, with a suave look on his face, leaned in for a kiss. That energetic electricity was still there, and if anything, it only intensified.

 

They pulled away when the song ended and looked into each other’s eyes. Suddenly, they started giggling, so much to the point where Adam accidentally dropped Shiro. He let out a small exclaim before tumbling to the ground.

 

This only caused Adam to laugh more, uncontrollably, to the point where he was snorting. Shiro wanted to be mad, but he fell prey to Adam’s laughter. He always did.

 

“Takashi, I’m sorry, I-” He was interrupted by another wave of laughter.

 

Shiro got back up again, and Adam finally stopped laughing. “God, I’m so sorry. I can't help it. You’re too cute.”

 

The captain threw his arms around his lover. “Have you looked in the mirror recently?”

 

His face changed its hue to a deep red. “I-”

 

Shiro noticed something else about Adam. His freckles that were illuminated by the moonlight, which were extremely faint and almost seemed to disappear the further away he was. How could he have ever forgotten about them? They were like stars in the sky: his entire universe. He wanted to count them all. His freckles were absolutely adorable to Shiro.

 

And his goal was to kiss every single one of them.

 

He began kissing the ones on the left of his face first. Adam giggled and breathed in between kisses, trying to fight back, only to succumb in giggles.

 

“Takashi… What are you… No, stop…” Adam laughed more with every kiss, but Shiro didn't stop, and Adam seemed to be fine with it. He kept on going for as long as he could.

 

This was the only universe that Shiro wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember… Enjoy the calm before the storm.


	6. Left Hand Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an unfortunate turn of events, major risks are made to ensure the well-being of everyone, including two people in particular. Meanwhile, plans are made to put a stop to Haggar and the Galra Empire once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving Week! I’m not dead! I deeply apologize for my absence. School and my mental health and other stuff have been kicking my ass as of lately. I’ll try to finish this fic by December 14th if possible, but I’m not sure if that is a realistic goal. That being said, if I’m not finished with this fic by then and canon ends up being insanely different from this story, then I hope you continue to stick around to see the ending anyways. Remember, everything in this fic is canon in an alternate universe.
> 
> On the bright side, this is my longest chapter yet.
> 
> This chapter is extremely dark. If you like angst, then this chapter is for you. That being said, I threw in some lighter stuff here and there, including a light-hearted flashback that was based on personal experience.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter features violence, blood, a suicide attempt, trauma, and a mention of a self-inflicted injury, as well as a discussion of surgery. Please take this into consideration before you read this chapter.

It was 1:43 am.

 

The night before had been incredibly warming. The two confessed many secrets to each other, they playfully bonded, and it seemed as if Adam was finally beginning to feel again.

 

But something was off. Adam wasn't in the bed, and the warmth was gone.

 

Shiro got out of the bed to investigate. He left the room and headed into the kitchen and living area. He immediately saw what was out of place.

 

Adam was standing in front of the couch with his back turned to Shiro, audibly breathing. He was bent forward, his hands gripping his scalp, and his body moved up and down with his shaky breaths. Shiro assumed that he was having a panic attack, so he proceeded with caution.

 

“Adam?” he softly spoke. He repeated the name several times after getting no response, but after a fifth time, Adam turned around in a jerky motion.

 

Sweat dripped down his face, and his eyes were bloodshot with a slight purple hue. His teeth were visibly clenched. If something wasn’t off five minutes ago, then it was now.

 

Before Shiro could react, he was slammed against the wall. It wasn’t a sexually coded act at all. He could tell that Adam wasn’t himself, and that he was trying to hurt him.

 

But why?

 

“Adam, please. I don’t know what’s going on here.”

 

Adam Wright didn’t speak. Instead, he activated the sword that his prosthetic was capable of forming. It was identical to the weapon formed by Shiro’s old Galra arm: glowing, purple, transparent, and capable of ultimate destruction. This was the first time he had seen Adam try to attack someone with a weapon before. It was heart-wrenching to see him so hostile.

 

“I don’t want to hurt you. Stop! Please…”

 

Adam tried to strike, but Shiro used his floating prosthetic to shove him out of the way, giving Shiro enough time to gain dominance. The only weapon he had was his hand, and compared to everything that Adam was capable of, this wouldn’t be a fair fight. Besides, he didn’t want to attack. His best bet was to try to make his way over to his phone on his nightstand in the bedroom and attempt to contact any of the paladins, but that was barely possible with Adam unrestrained.

 

Adam stopped for a minute. “I want to make this easier for you,” he said between breaths. “Give it up. Surrender and spare the suffering, or keep fighting and die.”

 

“What are you-”

 

Adam grunted, striking Shiro’s side with his arm. The man screamed in sheer agony, falling to the floor. Trembling hands found their way to the bleeding wound. The pain was strong, but his concern for Adam was even stronger.

 

The brunette grabbed Shiro by the throat with his left hand, choking him, and he used his other hand to chasten him to the floor. Shiro struggled, squirming, desperately trying to break free. Adam’s grip finally released, and Shiro gasped for air.

 

“Why are you hurting me?”

 

He was tossed against the wall as if he was made of nothing. There was a thunderous noise made upon impact, and the pain had finally caught up to him.”

 

“Please…” He paused for a minute to cough up blood. Dispersed crimson appeared on his hand. “Stop! This isn’t the Adam I know.”

 

Shiro was at a low point, but he still had fire in him. He stood, using the wall for support. He then remembered that he did, in fact, have a weapon. Shiro immediately stumbled over the counter and reached for the largest kitchen knife. He didn’t want to hurt him, but he needed a form of self-defense.

 

Adam still had the upper-hand (quite literally), but Shiro now had more than one way to defend himself. They were now facing each other, waiting for the other to attack.

 

After several seconds that felt like minutes, Adam jumped over the couch, trying to strike again. Shiro dodged the attack by pushing himself away just in time. They repeated this process, moving all around the living room. Shiro was stunned at how agile Adam was, and he realized that he could potentially be more agile than any of the other paladins.

 

Adam tackled Shiro from behind the couch, and they tumbled over the sofa. This made Shiro’s wound way more worse than it already was. The blood seeped through his shirt, and he made an attempt to stop the bleeding, but he was unsuccessful. Shiro realized that wherever he went, Adam would follow him, but he wasn’t currently restrained.

 

“How about we take this in the bedroom?”

 

Shiro used the last of his energy to dash into the bedroom and grab his phone. Before Adam could do anything, he contacted the number on the top of his call list. After two rings, the call was answered.

 

“Oh, hey, Shiro.” Keith. The person on the other end was Keith. “What’s up?”

 

“Keith! Get over here immediately! Apartment 618. Hurry! Bring backup if you can!”

 

Shiro hung up the phone and stood his guard, but Adam didn’t bother to attack. Shiro’s hands clasped his bleeding side.

 

“Takashi…” He looked up with pleading eyes, and Shiro knew that this was now the real Adam.

 

Adam’s eyes darted to Shiro’s side, and he gasped in horror. He fell to his knees, supporting himself with his arms. With wide eyes and a covered mouth, his shoulders began to shake. Shiro swore that he saw a tear fall down Adam’s face. This was the first time in several years that he had seen him cry.

 

“Oh my god, Takashi.” His voice was fragmented and broken. Without warning, he quietly sobbed, covering his mouth. “I’m so sorry.”

 

Shiro could feel what Adam was feeling. The tsunami poured over stone walls, flooding what was left of the town. The barriers gave way, and the layer of fortification was gone. The entire area was now completely vulnerable.

 

This feeling was familiar because it was exactly how he felt upon gaining the memories of the fight between Kuron and Keith. He felt extremely guilty afterwards, and the scar on Keith’s face served as a permanent reminder of the fight. Just the sight of it made Shiro sick to his stomach, as he knew that he was the cause of this. He knew that he would have to live with that guilt for the rest of his life, despite not being in control at the time.

 

“Adam, are you okay?”

 

He was unresponsive for a minute. He tried to speak, but his words were choked.

 

“Takashi,” he looked down at the floor, doing anything to avoid eye contact. “I need you to do something for me. I know you won't want to do it, but you must.”

 

He was listening. “And what is that?”

 

“I need you to kill me.”

 

Those six words changed Shiro’s world forever.

 

He was in absolute shock, lost in time and space, with hardly any connection to reality. Adam had just asked him a favor he never wanted to perform. He had just got him back, and he couldn’t bear the thought of losing him again. He wanted Adam around, regardless of the potential of another attack.

 

The worst thing was that just one look revealed that Adam likely wasn’t asking Shiro of this just because of the attack. It looked like there was something else behind it as well.

 

“What?! No!” A lump formed in Shiro’s throat, and he was fighting back his emotions, which were coming at him in full force. The shock was beginning to wear out. “Please, no… Just give me time. I’ll find a solution.”

 

Adam gritted his teeth, still looking down. “We don’t have time.”

 

He wanted to cry, he wanted to sob, and he wanted to let everything out, but he couldn’t. His mind was blank, yet full of thoughts and feelings and emotions at the same time. “I-I just got you back, and I will never leave you! I’ll always be here for you.” His voice was brittle and wobbly, yet he still couldn’t cry. He didn’t want to do that in front of Adam.

 

Adam tugged on the ends of Shiro’s sweatpants. “You have to! The Garrison supplies guns to staff members. All you have to do is rent one and take me as far away as you can from this place. Please. If you let me live, you and so many innocent people will die. The Galra have contaminated me. For the longest time I’ve longed just to feel something again, but now I’m not so sure.” He released his grip. “Everything is just like you said ages ago. Without life, there’s no point in living.”

 

“That’s not true at all!” He wasn't even sure what exactly he was referring to by this. “You felt that energy last night. Don't lie to me.”

 

“But there's still the possibility that-” He gestured to Shiro’s wound. “ _ -this _ could happen again at any given moment. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.”

 

“No, no. There has to be another way. I don't want to lose you, I-”

 

“Takashi.” He shielded his face. “You won't lose me. You’ll always have memories of me, and we may possibly meet again if there really is an afterlife. But by taking my life, you will be saving many others.”

 

There was an incredibly long, uncomfortable beat of silence.

 

“No.” Shiro dropped the knife that he realized he was holding. It crashed to the floor, colliding with the ground where the high-piled rug ended and the hardwood floor began. A single tear managed to escape Shiro’s thick walls made of stone, and it flowed down his cheek, eventually dripping off and meeting the knife. “I’m sorry, but I can't do this.”

 

A long time had passed, and the only sound that lingered was their heavy breathing.

 

“Then I’ll do it myself.”

 

Shiro completely froze as the world around him spun. Adam formed his sword and aimed it at his throat, inches away from the blade contacting skin. All Shiro could do was hopelessly watch.

 

The front door swung open, and two people rushed inside, but Shiro couldn't respond. He was still frozen in place. Adam was immediately tackled by the two people that he couldn't quite make out. There was yelling, but every sound blurred together.

 

“Shiro! Are you alright?” The voice belonged to Keith. “Shiro!”

 

He finally became unfrozen, and the sight in front of him was completely surreal. Keith was multitasking between checking in with Adam and Shiro and trying to search the apartment for something. Lance, the second person, was holding Adam down with all of his weight. Adam, almost on the brink of passing out, had his free hand wrapped around his neck, specifically the area he held the blade to. Nothing was normal. Nothing at all.

 

“We need to get you guys to the hospital,” said Lance. He struggled to lift up Adam, but he managed. “I don’t know if I can carry this guy and I don't think waking him would be a good idea. He’s out cold. Should I call them and see if they can come over to pick Adam up? And Shiro, do you need to be picked up or will you be okay walking there?”

 

He genuinely debated this. His side was literally bleeding, so he decided to wait on the bed until help arrived. “I guess we’ll stay.”

 

Lance now noticed how bad Shiro’s side actually was. “Shit, sorry. You are definitely staying. I didn’t know it was _that_ bad.” Shiro forgave him. Lance was busy with Adam, after all. “I’ll call the hospital and stay with Adam on the couch. Keith, you stay with Shiro.” Lance left the room with Adam.

 

Keith shut the bedroom door after Lance left, then turned to face Shiro. “It’s a good thing that door was unlocked. What the fuck else happened here?”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he responded almost instantly.

 

“You have to. I know it’s hard, but it’s the only healthy way you will feel better about the situation. And that's coming from me.”

 

Shiro stalled while he made up his mind. “Adam attacked me. It was like he wasn't in control. Then he regained control and wanted me to kill him, and I refused, and then he-” He stopped in fear of crying again. “You saw.”

 

Keith nodded. “It's like the same thing happened a while back between, well, you know. Is there any way to fix it?”

 

They both took a moment to process. Shiro thought back to every conversation he had since they rescued Adam.

 

“The microchip. He had a microchip implanted in his brain. Maybe that's what's causing this.”

 

Keith whipped around. “We have to get it out.”

 

Shiro was all for the idea until he remembered the risk. “But removing it could be very dangerous.”

 

“We have to try.”

 

Shiro’s head sank into the pillow. “I guess we don't have much of a choice.”

 

A lady in scrubs came in shortly after and lifted Shiro on a stretcher. He was carried away into the long corridor, cut off from the outside world.

 

\-----

 

When Shiro opened his eyes, a magical door seemed to open, and he stumbled out. He was confused at first, but then remembered his agreement to heal his wound using a cryo-pod after the Garrison gave Allura permission to use them on military grounds. For a moment, his vision was hazy and his mind was vague.

 

“The healing process is complete,” said a mature voice that Shiro recognized. Sam Holt.

 

“Fantastic.”

 

A woman with silver hair and a custom cadet uniform stood in front of Shiro. He immediately knew it was Allura.

 

“Allura, what exactly happened?” Shiro had many questions. What was his health status? What happened while he was healing? Despite all of his questions, Adam remained at the top of his mind. The last time he saw him, he tried to kill himself. Shiro winced as he reminisced on the incident.

 

“Shiro, are you alright?”

 

Shiro abruptly met her gaze. “Oh, yeah. I’m fine. Please, just update me on what has happened while I was healing.”

 

Allura didn't look too thrilled. “You’re probably concerned about Adam. You’ve been recovering for several days. While you were healing, Adam was put on suicide watch and restrained for hostile tendencies.” Shiro could tell Allura was hiding something. “The doctor still hasn't made a recent report, but he seems to be okay.”

 

Shiro was tired of waiting. He desperately needed to see Adam. “Where is he? Can I talk to him?”

 

The Altean’s face elongated. “I’m afraid not. As far as I know, no one is allowed to see him.”

 

Shiro didn't say anything. He proceeded to walk out of the room and towards the receptionist. Once he arrived, he asked the lady if he could see Adam.

 

“I’m afraid he’s not allowed visitors at this time,” said the receptionist.

 

Shiro fought back his rage. “I have to see him. You don't understand.”

 

The receptionist sighed. “I can call his doctor right now.”

 

As she did so, Shiro lightly tapped his foot against the linoleum floor. He jumped a little when the receptionist hung up the phone.

 

“You may visit him, but he must be supervised.”

 

Shiro hoped that he would be given complete privacy while he was with Adam, but this was fine. “Alright, thank you.”

 

Within a minute or two, the doctor arrived to escort Shiro to Adam’s room.

 

\-----

 

Shiro patiently waited outside the heavy-duty door as the doctor came in to notify Adam of Shiro’s presence. Thoughts were racing through his head. He didn't care if Adam was furious at him, though there wasn't really any reason for Adam to be mad at Shiro. He just wanted to know if he was okay.

 

“Officer, you have a visitor.”

 

The doctor stepped out of the room, held the door open for Shiro, and proceeded to stand outside of the doorway.

 

Adam appeared somewhat sickly: his skin had faded in color and his eyelids were droopy. He appeared to have recently shifted in place, as he made minor adjustments to the pillow he was holding in front of him. His scarred arms were wrapped around the pillow, shaking almost discreetly, but apparent enough for Shiro to notice. Despite his ill appearance, he seemed to be in a content state.

 

“Takashi,” Adam said almost as quietly as a whisper. He formed a weak smile. “You’re okay.”

 

“You know I am. Regardless of what happens to me, I always end up coming back alive.” Shiro released a light-hearted chuckle from his lungs, but Adam didn’t seem to laugh or even smile, so Shiro cleared his throat and changed the topic. “I’m really glad you’re okay.”

 

It looked as if Adam’s head was delicately fighting an immense pressure, and Shiro could tell that he was clearly exhausted and uncomfortable. He made note to make his visit brief. “Yeah, about that…” Adam began. “The doctors determined the cause of my outlash, and it’s due to a microchip that was implanted into my brain.” Adam took a moment to shiver, grasping the pillow tighter and tighter until Shiro was sure that it would explode. “My guess is that whenever I was held prisoner, the Galra somehow installed that microchip while they were replacing- well, you know.”

 

Shiro was about to murder Haggar just from standing there. He already was almost positive of the cause of the outlash, but this still shocked him to his core. She had taken so much from them. He stood there, his stomach performing somersaults, acid climbing its way up his throat. In the event of an encounter with Haggar, he wanted to be the one to deliver the final blow.

 

“This is so… wrong.” Shiro contorted his face, but turned so that Adam wouldn’t see.

 

“We have to get it out somehow,” said Adam. Shiro was still turned, so he couldn’t see Adam’s expression, but he sounded determined. “If you and I are going to live, then it must be removed.”

 

Shiro finally faced him again, and there was a sort of pleading in Adam’s tired eyes. He thought of the conversation he had with Keith, and how the same thing was happening here. Takashi knew that there was likely only one option, and that option would be insanely risky.

 

“Adam, removing it would mean risking your life. It’s extremely dangerous. One wrong move and-” A lump formed in Shiro’s throat, and he was forced to pause in order to speak again. “But we don’t really have a choice, do we?”

 

“I’ll be in even more danger with the chip still there, and I would be dragging you down with me. We _must_ do this.”

 

There was an extended, almost boundless beat of silence.

 

“Alright, I’ll make arrangements with the hospital,” Shiro said in a capitulating manner. He hated the idea of removing the chip through an extremely risky surgery, but it was the only option.

 

“I know this is hard for you,” said Adam. “I’m sorry, but this is the only way.”

 

Shiro noticed that Adam’s pillow was still married to his chest and neck. He wondered why.

 

“Why are you still holding that pillow?”

 

He expected Adam to suddenly become aware, but he looked rather ashamed.

 

“Are you hiding something?” Shiro tried to be patient, but he was worried about him.

 

Without speaking, Adam delicately moved the pillow to the side of him, leaving his skin exposed. Wrapped around the front of his neck was a straight burn scar. It was a rather light color in contrast to his skin tone, and it looked identical to Keith’s. He really didn't want to think about that. It looked rather smooth compared to most burns, as he could contrast it to the burn scar on his side.

 

“Oh,” said Shiro.

 

Adam just sat there with his eyes closed and his head down in defeat. There was noticeable tension between his eyebrows.

 

“I didn’t want you to see me like this,” he finally said. He put the pillow back over the scar.

 

Shiro didn’t know what to think. He wasn’t surprised, but he still felt bad. If he hadn’t froze, he could have prevented this. He couldn’t manage to shake the guilt, but he did his best to hide it from Adam. The last thing he needed was for Adam to feel even more guilty than he most likely was.

 

That thought reminded him of the conversation they had the night after Adam was released from the hospital.

 

“Adam, remember what I told you about never feeling ashamed of your scars. They’re part of who you are, and they show how much you survived.” Shiro sat on the bed with Adam and caressed his cheek. “Always remember that.”

 

Adam looked away from Shiro, his eyes narrowing. “This scar is different from the others I have: it’s self-inflicted.” He shifted his position. “I have every right to be ashamed.”

 

“No, you don’t.” Shiro felt for Adam’s hand. “Don’t ever say that. Now, you are stronger than ever before. You’re one of the toughest people I know.”

 

“But you-”

 

“What about me?” Shiro forced out a laugh despite being sick to his stomach. “You shouldn’t feel ashamed for who you are, because you’re a brave and wonderful and kind and strong individual, and I love you for that.” He kissed Adam’s wrist.

 

“I just need time to process everything,” Adam mumbled. “That’s all.”

 

Shiro gave Adam a kiss, leaving the bed. “I’ll let you have your rest. Take what I said into consideration, at least. I love you.”

 

Adam smiled, tilting his head towards his direction. “I love you too, Takashi.”

 

Shiro smiled back, then left the room and headed down the hall.

 

\-----

 

“I don’t know, Shiro.” Sam Holt rubbed his forehead. “Are you sure about this? This procedure is extremely risky.”

 

“I know that, but there’s no other way.”

 

It had been a few hours after he talked with Adam. He was discharged from the hospital and back in his Garrison uniform. Now, he was convincing the Garrison to perform the procedure that could the microchip that was plaguing Adam.

 

“I understand that, but just know that this procedure could potentially have consequences. This has never been done before.” Sam thought for a moment. “Perhaps there’s another option.”

 

Shiro was attentive. “Like what?”

 

“If we were given enough time, perhaps Katie and several Garrison staff members can find a way to disable the microchip.”

 

At this point, Shiro was open to anything. He was willing to agree to this. “Fine, but if this plan fails, then the surgery must continue.”

 

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do.”

 

\-----

 

The day after, Shiro met with the Voltron crew inside of the Atlas to discuss battle plans.

 

Shiro could barely sleep that night. Every time he drifted off, he would remember that night. He would feel the knife in his hands. He would hear Adam’s pained voice. He would see Adam’s pleading eyes. He hated it so much, and he hated being in that room. He moved to the couch, but it wasn’t much better. He eventually fell asleep at around five in the morning, only sleeping for a few hours.

 

“Alright, we are gathered here to discuss our plans to defeat Haggar as well as rescuing other prisoners.” Everyone seemed confused when he mentioned those held captive by the Galra, but he planned to further elaborate. Pidge and Hunk were absent, as they were working on finding an alternative to surgery. Shiro intended on informing them of everything discussed once the meeting was over.

 

“How will we know where she is?” Lance asked. “We’ve interrogated the Altean found in the Robeast, and she has no memory of encountering her.”

 

“Okay, well let’s focus on what we know. The Altean was powering the Robeast, which was likely a creation from Haggar. We can confirm that she has found the Altean colony.”

 

“But how?” asked Romelle.

 

The group speculated in silence

 

“Okay, Shiro, you’re not going to like what I have to say.” Allura took a deep breath. “Perhaps Haggar was using your clone to spy on us. She must have heard us talking about the Altean colony.”

 

Even though Shiro knew that none of this was his fault, he felt bad about it anyway. This guilt was starting to pile up, and he knew that it was on the verge of becoming unhealthy.

 

“Perhaps Keith, Krolia, and Romelle can help us find the colony.” Shiro looked at the two of them. “Do you remember where it is?”

 

“Sort of,” answered Keith. “If we can figure out the castle’s location around that time, then that might jog my memory of where it is. We might need some coordinates though.”

 

“If we’re lucky, she will come to us,” said Coran. “But we should still make arrangements to find the colony.”

 

“I agree. We’ll make arrangements on going into space, but we need more information first.”

 

His mind then traced back to Adam. He hadn’t asked him if he was coming with them, nor did he ask the Voltron crew.

 

“If Adam survives this incident with the microchip, and if he agrees to this, can he come with us?” He had no idea if he should have asked or insisted this, but he decided to ask.

 

He expected there to be mixed reactions, but everyone seemed onboard with it, nodding their heads and giving replies that overlapped to the point where they were impossible to make out.

 

“Okay, so we’ve decided on that, but what about the other prisoners? There are still so many people that are captured and being tortured as we speak. We must do something.”

 

Allura looked down. “Shiro, I’m sorry, but that may set us back.”

 

“We can't let them suffer. The Atlas will hold many people at once, and we can make several trips if needed.”

 

“We can try,” said Allura, “but there isn't much we can guarantee at the moment.”

 

“Do the best you can with making time for this. I can help draft the plans for it as well as come with you on missions.”

 

“Alright then,” said Keith. “So it’s settled.”

 

After the meeting, the group parted ways.

 

\-----

 

A few days after the meeting, Pidge and Hunk were unsuccessful in their plan to disable to microchip’s programming. Though they have found a way to detect waves of brain activity, therefore preventing an attack, they determined that the chip’s coding was heavily fortified to the point where it was nearly impossible to disable the device wirelessly. They decided that it would be of no use to continue the plan, and the more time it would take, the more likely a negative incident would occur. Pidge also worried that a wrong move could result in harm. They’ve decided that the surgery would be a safer option at this point.

 

The Voltron crew were up late trying to collect intel for the battle plan. Shiro left at midnight after feeling a sudden rush of exhaustion. He saw this as his chance to sleep decently after several days, so he took the opportunity. He passed out as soon as his head hit the end of the couch.

 

The day of the surgery, Shiro was given permission to see Adam that morning. Shiro knew that this could potentially be the last time that he would see Adam alive, so he wanted to make the most of it. He tried to bury away any negative thoughts.

 

The door opened, and Adam perked up from the bed.

 

“Hey,” said Shiro. He went over to offer a hug and kiss. Adam complied, tightly embracing him, and kissing him like it could be one of their last moments together, yet the thing was that this could entirely be true.

 

“If something happens to me, don’t let me hold you back,” Adam whispered, holding him close. “You have to keep moving forward.”

 

Shiro was trying to blink away tears. Being someone that seldomly cried, he felt surprised at himself as of lately. It was almost as if Adam was causing him to slowly lose that hard interior. He wanted to be open to this change, but he worried that this would make his mind vulnerable.

 

“Awe, don’t cry. Please don’t.”

 

“I'm trying not to, but this may be the last time I ever see you again.” He ran his fingers through Adam’s hair. “It’s a lot to deal with.”

 

“You’ve dealt with me _dying_ before.” Adam’s fingers formed into makeshift quotation marks when he mentioned his assumed death. “If that’s what happens, you can deal with it again. I know you can.”

 

“Please…” Shiro leaned in so that they were even closer. “Don’t go. Stay with me.”

 

“Look who’s talking,” said Adam, chuckling after finishing the sentence. “I have no control over that. All you can do is hope for the best.”

 

Shiro heard footsteps from behind him. He turned to see that it was Adam’s doctor, his hands behind his back.

 

“The procedure will start soon,” he said. “It is advised that you wrap things up.”

 

“I have to go,” said Adam, kissing Shiro. “I love you. If I don't make it, then may we see each other again in the near future.”

 

“I love you too.” Shiro kissed his forehead, then began to walk away, bidding his final farewells. “Goodbye, Adam.”

 

“Goodbye, Takashi.”

 

What really struck Shiro was the mystery of Adam's words. Neither of them knew if Adam would survive this. All they could do was wait.

 

\-----

 

That night, Shiro was lying on the couch in an attempt to sleep, yet he knew that it was out of reach. He was bundled in the warmest blanket he had, yet his body was still frigid. In that moment, Adam had been under surgery for fifteen hours.

 

It was three in the morning.

 

As usual, Shiro couldn't sleep, but he knew that he would be up all night. He couldn't manage to shake off the anxiety he felt even for a second.

 

He watched the clock on the wall. _Tick, tick, tick._ He calculated every single tick. He knew that it was unlikely that the clock would malfunction, but he thought back to one afternoon in his English class. He remembered that there was a substitute that day, and everyone was on their phones. All of a sudden, he noticed that everyone was looking at the clock on the wall. It was winding incredibly fast, and the time displayed several hours ahead. Several were convinced that the Garrison was haunted, and even more so when several other teachers reported the same incident occurring in their classrooms. Shiro thought the situation was very amusing.

 

Times were much more simple back then. He still had both of his arms, his hair was still entirely the color of the midnight sky, his skin was free of any prominent scars, and the main thing he had to worry about was his crush on Adam. He wanted to go back in time more than anything, but he had to accept that this was his life now.

 

A knock came from the door.

 

“Who is it?” Shiro asked.

 

“It’s Lance. Can I come in?”

 

Shiro, being grateful for company, said, “Sure, come in.”

 

The doorknob shifted a bit, but did not turn. “The door is locked.”

 

Shiro got up from the couch and made his way towards the door. He unlocked and opened it, letting Lance in. He shut the door after he entered.

 

“Lance, what are you doing up?”

 

“Same as you, I’m guessing.” He pulled his jacket over his chest. “Can’t sleep. I’m worried about Adam.”

 

“Me too,” said Shiro. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”

 

“Can I stay for a bit?” asked Lance. “Keith pulled an all-nighter last night and now he’s out cold.”

 

“Ah, Keith…” Shiro rubbed his eyes. “Was he working on the plan?”

 

“Yup. He is really determined.”

 

“Anyways,” Shiro began. “Help yourself to anything. You can sleep in the bedroom if you want.”

 

Lance looked confused. “But aren't you going to-?”

 

“Me? I hate that room and I hate being in it. I’ve been sleeping out here for the past few days. I just need some time.”

 

“Oh,” said Lance. There was a hint of sorrow in his voice. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

He really didn't want to, but he knew that bottling up so many emotions as once was never good.

 

“I can see if you don't want to-”

 

“No, it’s fine.” Shiro moved to the side and gestured for Lance to sit next to him. “Ever since I got home from the hospital, I couldn't stop thinking about the fight, and then after that. I can still feel and hear and see nearly _everything_ that happened in that moment. The memory of the fight seemed to blur together, but his… _attempt_ is still clear in my mind.” He couldn't bring himself to say the word that described the attempt.

 

“Oh, man.” Lance looked around the living room and frowned. “I’m so sorry. Maybe I can help somehow.”

 

“Forget it, Lance.” Shiro couldn't help but laugh. “There's nothing you can do to fix me.”

 

The corners of Lance’s mouth sank towards the floor. “I might not be able to fully cure you, but I can stay with you as you get better. You will get there. I promise.”

 

Shiro doubted that, but he didn't want to tell Lance. Instead, he put a hand on Lance’s shoulder for reassurance. “Thank you, Lance. For everything.”

 

“Anytime, man.” Lance looked at the wall ahead of them. “Adam means a lot to me, too. He helped me out a lot. I just hope he's okay.”

 

“Me too,” Shiro said an additional time.

 

After around thirty minutes of talking about various subjects, Lance moved into the other room. Shiro just continued to stare at the ceiling for hours.

 

\-----

 

It was around 10:30 am. Shiro hadn't slept, but Lance managed to get a couple hours in. Lance made breakfast for him and Shiro using ingredients he found in the kitchen, and Shiro was very thankful for this, as Adam banned him from the kitchen due to his poor cooking skills.

 

Lance was watching TV as he ate the last of his meal. Shiro was eating while watching TV as well, though he wasn't even close to finished with his meal.

 

The doorknob twisted, and both of them instantly perked up.

 

The door swung open, revealing Adam and Keith standing in the doorway. Adam was back in his Garrison uniform, and he had a bandage wrapped around his forehead. He still looked sick, but he seemed to be much more happy than before. Keith honestly looked pretty terrible. His uniform was barely kept and his hair was extremely untamed.

 

Shiro smiled with relief upon seeing them. “Adam,” he cried. He went over to embrace him, tightly wrapping his arms around him. Adam gasped, but hugged back, burying his head into his muscular shoulder.

 

“I’m so glad to see you again,” Adam whispered, his exhale completely audible throughout the entire sentence.

 

“Are you kidding? Do you know how happy I am to see you?” Shiro grinned even more now.

 

“We’ll give you guys some privacy,” said Keith. Him and Lance disappeared into the bedroom.

 

Adam turned to Shiro. “I’ll be off for a while since I’m still recovering, so I thought that maybe we could go over to my parent’s house soon. I’ve been dying to see my family again. They're sort of your family in a way too, right?”

 

“Sounds great,” said Shiro. “I’ll put in the request.”

 

“Alright, cool.” Adam looked over at the food on the kitchen counter. “Lance must have made that. There’s no way you could have.”

 

“What makes you say that?” Shiro teased. “I can cook.”

 

“Takashi, when I came back from teaching my night class several years ago, the toaster was on fire.”

 

Shiro snorted. “I was hungry and tired of eating microwaved ramen and canned meals, okay?”

 

“Understandable. If it’s okay with Lance, can I have some of this?”

 

“He’s fine with it. He told me after he made it that he purposefully saved some food for you.”

 

“Tell him I said thanks.”

 

Before they sat down to eat, Shiro took Adam by the hand. “Out of all the things the universe has taken from us, I’m glad you’re here to say.”

 

Adam grabbed a plate of the Cuban dish that Lance made, likely a homemade recipe. He was surprised that he was able to make it with the ingredients in their kitchen, even though Adam was an excellent cook, and he often had leftover ingredients lying around. The meal was absolutely delicious, in Shiro’s opinion.

  


Adam sat down with his plate of food, and Shiro resumed his plate. They took turns feeding each other, giggling and laughing. Shiro cherished every second of this meal, grateful that he and Adam were alive.


	7. Choice Kingdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam and Shiro pay a visit to Adam’s family. Adam makes a tough decision. Lance and Keith confess something that they have been hiding for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to give a shout out to my friend for suggesting a few edits.
> 
> Thank you guys so much for 1000 hits! It really means a lot to me, and I am beyond thankful for this.
> 
> Every single time I write a new chapter, it’s longer than the last. This one is over half as long as chapters 1-4 put together, and it’s over 9000 words long (almost 10,000), so I hope you enjoy! I worked hard on this, so hopefully it will pay off and I’ll finish before December 14th.
> 
> For this fic, I interpreted Adam’s family as Brazilian. I may change this if his canon nationality is ever released. In future fics, I also may interpret Adam’s family as a different nationality.
> 
> I also wanted to mention that I have made an official tag for this fanfiction! If you wish to post memes, fan art, cosplay, or anything else related to the fic, please tag it as #vldtiay.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter mentions past homophobia, disownment, trauma, drowning, mention of a death, and a nightmare. Please read at your own risk.
> 
> This chapter was supposed to be fluffy. I swear...

“Lance and I are dating now.”

 

It was a peaceful Friday morning on September. The duo were standing in front of the perplexed Voltron crew, holding hands. Everyone except Shiro was surprised. He assumed that none of them had any idea.

 

“Yeah,” Lance mumbled, shuffling his feet. His face was the color of Keith’s jacket. “We're boyfriends.”

 

Shiro glanced around the cafeteria table. Hunk had his hand clasped over his mouth. Allura and Coran’s jaws were hitting the floor. Romelle’s face was indecipherable.

 

“Y-Your b-boyfriend?” Pidge divided this into several sequences, half of them repeating previous sounds. She was about to fucking lose it.

 

Adam let out a snort. “Keith. It’s about time.”

 

Keith growled, his fists forming into rocks. “Adam!”

 

The entire table erupted in laughter.

 

“Seriously though,” said Hunk. “I’m proud of you guys. I can't imagine the courage it must have taken to say that.”

 

Lance just laughed with a nervous tone in his voice.

 

“Lance,” said Allura. “I am very pleased that you have discovered part of who you are.”

 

Coran tilted his head. “Are you-?”

 

“I’m bisexual,” said Lance.

 

The group turned towards Keith.

 

“Gay,” he said.

 

“Keith, Lance,” Shiro began. “Keep doing what you're doing. Love being who you are. Embrace it.”

 

“I already have,” Keith said while grinning at Lance.

 

“Thank you guys,” said Lance. He seemed way more relaxed than before. “Thank you for everything. You’ve always been there for me.”

 

“Of course,” said Allura. “We will always accept you no matter what.”

 

“Awe, thanks! I-”

 

Lance honestly seemed like he was having a crisis. “Sorry,” he said.

 

“Well, Lance and I have to get going. Thank you for accepting us.” Keith looked around with a content expression. Shortly after, he left the cafeteria with Lance.

 

“I really need to catch up with both of them,” said Adam. “I feel like I’m missing out on a lot.”

 

“We still need to catch up with your family,” said Shiro. He was about to tell him some pleasant news.

 

“Did you get approved to leave the Garrison for the weekend? It’s Brazilian Independence Day, and I wanted to stay there for the weekend so we could have time to celebrate and go to a parade in the city and stuff.”

 

Shiro thought back to all of the celebrations he had been to with Adam’s family. He really missed them, and he longed to have that feeling of happiness once more. He was so enveloped in the nostalgia that he almost forgot to respond.

 

“Yes,” said Shiro with a smile. “We should start packing after breakfast.”

 

“The decision was mostly up to me.” Allura clasped her hands together, resting them on the table. “Our plans are on track at the moment, but we should probably take a break soon. We don’t have much information to work with, so there’s no use over-exerting ourselves.”

 

“Good idea,” Romelle groaned. Her head sunk onto the table. She was clearly exhausted.

 

“That being said, we musn’t let this block stop us.” Allura pulled out a device from her pocket. “The Garrison supplied Coran, Romelle, and I with this communication device.” She turned to Pidge, who was sitting next to her. “What is it called?”

 

“A phone.”

 

“Ah, yes. Once I learn how to use this, I can use it to contact all of you.”

 

“Since Shiro and Adam are leaving for the weekend, we should probably exchange contacts,” Lance suggested.

 

Shiro pulled out his phone and loaded the Contacts app. After spending several minutes getting everyone’s contacts, he started a group chat with everyone from Team Voltron (including Adam) in it.

 

**Team Voltron**

 

**Friday 8:32 AM**

 

 **Shiro:** I’m sending this out to make sure everyone gets this.

 

After Shiro sent the message, he asked if everyone received it. Everyone announced that it worked, and some even replied. After everyone finished replying, Shiro turned his phone on vibrate and put it away.

 

The group continued to eat their meals, and Adam was finally getting to know the Voltron crew. Shiro opted out of most of the conversation unless prompted to join. He wanted to let the others talk with Adam without any interruptions. After all, he still was unsure if Adam was coming with them on their battle mission or not, and he wanted to make sure that Adam was in good standing with Team Voltron in the event of him agreeing.

 

\-----

 

“‘Kashi, I can't let them see me like this. My mom would flip.”

 

Adam was standing near his suitcase. He was wearing a gray T-shirt and sweatpants. The scar on his neck was clearly visible, and while the other scars on his face were prominent as well, this one showed signs of a near-death experience.

 

“I mean, you have to tell them eventually.”

 

“No, I don't.”

 

Adam was hopelessly searching the room. “The only thing I own that covers my neck is my Garrison uniform, and it needs to be washed.”

 

“Hmm…” Shiro was going to recommend wearing the uniform until they were able to find a clothing store, but he had a different idea. “Maybe you could wear a scarf.”

 

Adam looked Shiro dead in the eyes. “‘Kashi, it’s September. I would look ridiculous. There’s no way in Hell I’m wearing a scarf.”

 

\-----

 

The couple finally got to the train. Adam decided on a white long-sleeved collared shirt, a pair of khakis, the black boots he normally wore, and a patterned scarf that enveloped his neck. So much for “There's no way in Hell I’m wearing a scarf.”his neck.

  


Their plan was to stop at a shopping outlet, find articles of clothing that covered Adam's neck, and continue to take the train to where Adam's family lived.

 

Once they stopped at the clothing store, they immediately began browsing and trying on items. Adam ended up purchasing six turtleneck sweaters, two hoodies, three high-collared jackets, two turtleneck shirts, and twelve scarves of varying colors and patterns and shapes and material. Shiro even got a new leather jacket with the iconic Galaxy Garrison logo on the back, which he switched into. Adam changed into one of the turtleneck shirts that he had bought. He seemed glad to be rid of the scarf for now. It was around eighty-five degrees that day, after all, and the scarf wasn’t very stylish.

 

Adam checked the time after they left the store.

 

“Holy shit, it’s past 2?”

 

“No worries,” said Shiro. They originally intended on getting there at around three in the afternoon, but they spent a little longer than they intended in the shop. “We can still get there at around 3:30 or so.”

 

“My mom’s probably going to want to do something to catch up on old times. Or she'll send us to the store. You can never be certain with her. Either way, we need to get there as soon as possible.”

 

They got back on the train, and they both decided to stare out the window instead of occupying themselves. The passing scenery was breathtaking. They passed multiple canyons, cliffs, and neighborhoods, all sparsely separated throughout the desert. It was way better than the vast emptiness of space.

 

Shiro and Adam’s phones vibrated simultaneously. Adam was asleep, and this didn’t seem to wake him. Shiro pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the group chat. He skipped over the messages from that morning and saw the most recent one he had.

 

**Team Voltron**

 

**Friday 2:16 PM**

 

 **Keith:** r u their yet

 

Shiro rolled his eyes at Keith’s lack of grammar, punctuation, capitalization, spelling, and basically everything. He tried to limit his criticism for now.

 

 **Shiro:** No, we’re not there yet. It’s *there*, Keith, and is it that hard to type the full thing with proper capitalization, punctuation, and spelling?

 

The phone vibrated again.

 

 **Keith:** proper english my ass

 

He simply sighed, putting his phone down. Arguing with Keith was rather difficult. For now, he decided to rest his head on Adam’s shoulder. He picked up his phone again, set his alarm to vibrate before they got to their stop, put the phone in his pocket, and went to sleep.

 

\-----

 

_Buzz, buzz._

 

Shiro woke up, turning the alarm off.

 

A robotic voice came from the intercom. “Now arriving at ‘Square Station’. Next stop: ‘Fairview Station’.”

 

This was their stop.

 

Shiro turned to Adam. “We’re almost at our stop.”

 

Adam’s eyes slowly opened, and he yawned. “How many stops before ours?”

 

“Zero. The next stop _is_ ours.”

 

“Oh, shit. I need more time to prepare.” Shiro loved how Adam had the tendency to act drunk for a while after being woken up, yet this was commonly a disadvantage. “What am I gonna say? How will my parents react? Will they say anything about my appearance; about _your_ appearance?” Adam rambled with slurred words.

 

“Relax.” Shiro held Adam’s hand. “They’ll probably be more excited to see us, period.”

 

“I would hope so. Hopefully she won’t kick our asses for _dying_ in the first place.” He accompanied the word _dying_ with air quotes.

 

“Haha, yeah... _dying_.” Shiro remembered that Adam didn’t know about him dying in space. In that moment, he came to the conclusion of saving that for a later date.

 

The train skidded to a halt.

 

The voice from the intercom sounded again. “Now arriving at ‘Square Station’. Next stop: ‘Yulie Boulevard’.”

 

They prepared to leave, and the doors opened. Grabbing their luggage, they began the thirty minute walk towards the house that Shiro longed to see again.

 

\-----

 

“I recognize these houses. We’re close, I know.”

 

Shiro used his floating hand to change the way the luggage was being carried. His left hand was getting too exhausted.

 

Adam let out a huff. “The Montressors. The Bartels. The Smiths. Almost there.”

 

After walking a few more blocks, a familiar and slender contemporary home came into view.

 

“There it is.”

 

Shiro increased his walking pace, eager to get to the doorstep already. Finally, the floating white stairs leading up to the main floor were visible. He took a look around the house and recognized the varying colors and types of stone; the slim part of the pool that roped around the house, visible over the fence resembling a gray, short stone wall; the rectangular windows and what room each of them belonged to the last time they were there; the concrete pavers accented with gravel, the walnut plank accents marking the walls of the majority of the exterior, the balcony hugging the side of the house, the shrubbery peeking out from the half walls, the streamlined mailbox, and the black double door a story up. Each feature he recalled gave him a boost of exhilaration.

 

As they trudged their luggage up the stairs to the front door, Shiro realized that there were a few things that were different. He assumed that the potted palm tree near the door was new, and he knew for a fact that the blue, striped doormat used to be green with no pattern.

 

They finally made it up the floating steps, and the doorbell was begging to be rung. Adam was about to press it, but he paused, staring at the ground. He was seemingly unsure of himself.

 

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

 

Shiro gently clasped Adam’s shoulder after giving a sign that he was about to do so. “You’ll be fine. No matter what happens, I’ll always have your back.”

 

After several long seconds, Adam’s finger briefly held the button down. His hand then fell to his side, and Shiro slipped his own hand into his.

 

Voices came from inside of the house. Shiro couldn’t tell what either of the voices were saying, but they seemed familiar to him. As the two people appeared to move closer to the door, he identified the language spoken as Portuguese, most likely.

 

The knob twisted, and the door slowly opened.

 

The two people on the other side of the door were Adam’s parents: Marcela and Andre. Marcela was wearing a long-sleeved green bohemian shirt and a long, black skirt that reached for the floor. Her hair was fused together with a side braid. Andre wore retro glasses with thick top rims, a two-toned sweater featuring two different shades of gray, and khakis. His curly hair gave the impression that he had no care in the world for it. Time has aged them both, but they remained the same people Shiro had grown to love.

 

Marcela covered her mouth with her shaky hand; her shoulders were trembling, and her wild eyes were leaking with tears. She studied him from head to toe, then did the same with Shiro.

 

“My son…” Her words were choked and strangled, but out of joy it seemed. She rushed forward and hugged Adam, sobbing into his shirt.

 

“That's right. I’m here, alive, and well.” He patted her on that back. “Happy Independence Day.”

 

Marcela then moved over to Shiro. “Oh my god, I can't believe you both are alive and okay!” She tightly squeezed him, and he caught a whiff of her green apple shampoo.

 

After Marcela pulled away, Andre hugged them both at the same time. “I can't believe you’re here.”

 

Adam smirked. “I’m here and I’m queer.”

 

All four of them took a moment to laugh.

 

“We heard about you both on the news,” said Andre. “We first heard about Shiro around the beginning of August.” He looked at Shiro. “We were amazed to find that you weren't dead, and that you helped liberate the planet and rescue our son. We want to thank you for everything you’ve done.”

 

Shiro smiled in response. “I wasn't prepared for anything, but events started to play out as soon as we got here.”

 

Marcela turned to Adam. “When you were announced to be deceased, we were heartbroken. A while after, we were forced to evacuate. We remained in hiding until the war was over.” Her frown then turned into a smile. “Then around two weeks after the announcement of Shiro's return, we heard that thirty-two people, who were assumed dead, were found on a Galra ship and rescued by Shiro and the Voltron paladins. And you were one of those thirty-two people.”

 

Adam grinned. “Good thing I’m free from that place.”

 

Shiro wanted to respond, but he was unsure if it would be a good idea at the moment.

 

“Well, come in.” Andre held the door open, and he stepped back into the house, along with Marcela. “Make yourself comfortable. Do you need me to show you two around again?”

 

“No, thank you. We’re okay with doing that on our own,” said Adam, leading Shiro inside. He closed the door behind them, locking it. They left their luggage near the thermostat, which was right in front of them.

 

“Oh, okay. Let me know if you need anything.”

 

There was the sound of barking, and a black labrador came running through the living room and into the entryway. He stopped in front of Adam, barking at him. Adam whimpered, slipping his hand away from Shiro’s and stepping back. “You got a dog?!”

 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. While we were in hiding, we found him. He was abandoned, so we took care of him.” Marcela bent down to pet him. “Lita named him ‘Simon’, after that movie that came out when your father and I were teens. You love that movie, and she thought the name was suitable.”

 

“Yes, I do. Speaking of Lita, where is she?”

 

“She’s on her way home from school. She’ll be so happy to see you!”

 

Shiro joined in on the conversation. “I bet our arrival would probably be a surprise to her.”

 

“Oh, it will.” Marcela picked up her phone and was about to call someone, but decided not to. She then looked at the couple, who were holding hands near the doorway. “Aren’t you two hot? It’s pretty warm outside.”

 

“No, we’re fine,” said Shiro. Adam appeared to be neither hot nor cold.

 

“Shiro, you can take off your jacket if you want.”

 

“I’m fine with it on. Thank you, though.”

 

Marcela disappeared into the kitchen, and the two began to look around the house. They first entered the living room and kitchen. Shiro noticed that there was a Brazilian flag on the wall, the furniture was rearranged, and the kitchen was slightly cluttered. Marcela was currently organizing the kitchen. Shiro reminisced of all the soccer games and movies he’s watched on the TV, and all the times he would sit and wait for Adam (or someone else from the family) to finish cooking dinner. He always wanted to help, but he didn’t, as he feared that he would burn something or start a fire. He helped with cleaning instead.

 

Next, they went upstairs to the balcony and outside the master bedroom. Once they got to the top floor, Shiro noticed an automatic-refill pet bowl and a cushioned mat that he assumed was for the dog, obviously. They left the room and went outside to the balcony that wrapped around the side of the house and stopped when it came halfway around the front. On the balcony was a potted palm leaf plant, a black wicker loveseat with white cushions, a coffee table with a fire pit in the middle that matched the color scheme of the loveseat, a cherry blossom plant, and two plastic chairs around a small square table with a potted plant containing berries as the centerpiece. The view was incredible, as the pond and many other buildings were visible from that point. Shiro and Adam took a seat on the wicker loveseat.

 

Shiro took it all in: the Wright family restaurant, the houses, the sky, the birds, the clouds, and everything else in front of them.

 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

 

Adam snickered. “It sure is.”

 

They sat in silence until Adam spoke again.

 

“You’re not gonna quote that ‘you know what else is beautiful’ shit?”

 

“Nah.” He realized that the opportunity was there, but he never took it. Regardless, it was an extremely cliche thing to say.

 

Adam stood up and walked to the edge of the fence. “I’d love to sit out here with you, but we have to get going.”

 

Shiro rose, almost getting ready to leave, until he noticed that Adam was now looking down at the pool, frozen in place. “Adam, are you alright?”

 

He paused for a moment before he quietly spoke. “Yeah, I’m good.”

 

The two went back inside and to the first floor, a level below the main floor, where their old bedroom was. Lita’s bedroom was on that floor as well. As they reached the bottom of the stairs, they came across the guest bathroom, a desk with two office chairs, a tv above the modern fireplace, a stereo, and the glass double door that went to the backyard. There was also a couch and a rounded chair facing the TV, as well as a coffee table with a glass cutout.

 

They then saw the wall that housed two doors: one near the front of the house and the other near the backyard. Assuming the rooms haven’t been rearranged or altered in any way, their bedroom door was at the end of the stairs, while Lita’s room was near the backdoor. They opened the bedroom door near the front of the house, and the moment Shiro caught a glimpse of the furniture and posters in the room, the city in his mind was instantly flooded with a wave of nostalgia. He remembered everything that happened there in previous years: the studying, the dancing, the cuddling, the crying.

 

\-----

 

Shiro came out to his grandfather on the last day of the winter break before his eighteenth birthday. They were in the car, traveling to an airport near Tokyo. Shiro was hours away from departing on a long flight back to the Garrison, and he knew this would be the last time he would be in Japan with his grandfather while he was still seventeen.

 

So he told him that he was gay and had been in a relationship with another guy for over two years. That’s when he realized that his grandfather, who Shiro heavily trusted and considered an accepting man, couldn’t be trusted at all.

 

His grandfather’s reaction to this news was quiet, but his deprecating expression said it all. Shiro wished that he could take back his words.

 

The car pulled up to the airport, and Shiro got out, but he realized that this was far from his gate. Before he shut the door, he turned towards his grandfather. “Can you park closer to my gate next time?”

 

“There won’t be a next time,” he spat with bitterness, not even looking from the road. Shiro realized that he never looked at Shiro the entire time after he came out. He also could assume that he parked far from the gate on purpose, as he rarely did this. Shiro shut the door, and the car drove away.

 

The moment he went inside, crowds of people swiftly walking blurred in his vision. A heavy lump formed in his throat. He fell onto a bench, sobbing, wanting things to go back to normal.

 

Plane rides were normally fun for him, even though he went on several a year, and that would bore the average person. This happened to be the worst flight he had in his life.

 

\-----

 

A week before Spring Break, he came to Adam in tears, not knowing where he would spend the holiday, since the Garrison kicked all students out of their dorms during holiday breaks. He asked Adam if he could stay with him and his family. Based on the few times he’d met them and the positive things Adam said about them, they seemed to be accepting of Adam being gay, out, and proud.

 

“I can ask them if you can stay with us,” said Adam. “You’ve met them a couple times during visiting days and parent events.”

 

“Are you sure they’d be okay with me, your boyfriend, staying over for the entire holiday?”

 

“‘Kashi, we’re adults now; they respect that. If they won’t let you sleep with me, then there’s other places you can sleep.”

 

Shiro was relieved that there was a pretty good chance he would have somewhere secure to stay during the holiday, and that he wouldn’t have to spend all of his money on staying in a shitty motel. “That would be great.”

 

They stayed together while Adam made the phone call, and his parents approved. They even let them sleep together. Shiro was rather surprised by this, since neither of them had been eighteen for over a month. He ended up discovering a whole new family that he never had.

 

\-----

 

They left the room and went down to the basement. Shiro realized that this was the room that changed the most. It used to be a small home gym and laundry room, but it was now more of a home library. The exercise equipment was gone, and the only objects and furniture he saw in that room were a loveseat nestled in a small nook, a wall of bookshelves, books upon books, minimal decorations, an area dedicated towards doing laundry, and an easel. It was the messiest room in the house.

 

Andre came downstairs and walked towards the washing machine with a basket of clothing, noticing the two. “You look confused.”

 

“Where did everything else go?” asked Shiro.

 

Andre frowned, looking at Adam. “After you were announced to be dead, your mother fell in love with reading. She used it as a coping mechanism. A couple of weeks before we evacuated, she put the exercise equipment in our storage locker and replaced them with bookshelves and books.” He then looked at Shiro. “You two have some stuff in the storage locker, still. Maybe tomorrow I can drive you two over to sort through it all.”

 

“That’s a good idea,” said Adam. “I’m sure seeing all that will bring back memories.”

 

After chatting with Andre for a bit, Shiro and Adam decided to go back to the main floor, where they went through the dining room, which didn’t change at all. This was where Marcela walked up to them.

 

“It’s so good to have you two back. We have to go to the restaurant tonight to celebrate not only Independence Day, but also you being back home!”

 

Shiro smiled. “Thank you, Ms. Wright, but you don’t have to announce our arrival like that.”

 

“Nonsense!” Marcela laughed. “Please, it’s no trouble at all.”

 

“I guess you can,” suggested Adam.

 

Keys jingled from the other side of the front door, and one of the doors swung open. “Mom! You’ll never believe what happened. I got assigned to be captain of the dance team, and-”

 

Lita, Adam's sister, stopped upon seeing Adam and Shiro. Her expression was aghast, and her eyes were wide.

 

“Lita,” Adam mumbled, stepping forward.

 

“Adam? Oh, Adam!” she slipped her backpack off, running up and squeezing him. “I’ve missed you! We thought you were dead.”

 

Shiro heard footsteps coming from the stairs, causing him to turn. It was Andre, watching the four of them while holding a pile of clothes.

 

“Nope, I’ve been alive the entire time. I just haven’t been on Earth.” There was a very small beat of silence. “Congratulations on earning the title as captain. You’ve grown so much since I last saw you.”

 

Lita was in middle school, the last time Shiro remembered seeing her. Now, she was tall and appeared to be in her late teens, and the she was wearing a cropped, turquoise leather jacket over a black T-shirt. Her hair was still as curly as Shiro remembered, but it was shorter than before. She looked grown up.

 

“Me?” She let out a snort. “No, you have!”

 

Adam barely smiled at this. It was clear that he was rather bothered by the statement.

 

Lita looked up at Shiro “Oh my gosh, Shiro!” She went up to him and hugged him tightly. “How have you been?”

 

Shiro chuckled, happy to see her again. “Pretty great, actually.”

 

Her eyes widened once more when she noticed his hand. “Oh. My. God. That is so cool!”

 

He didn’t know what to think of it, after all. Unlike his previous Galra prosthetic, he didn’t feel as ashamed to have it, yet he still missed the hand he was born with. He also came to the realization that his arm was heavily weakened from his disease at the time, and that removing it increased his life expectancy by a couple of years. He decided not to respond.

 

Lita looked back and forth between Adam and Shiro. “When’s the wedding? You two are still engaged, right?”

 

“Oh, uh…” Shiro gazed painfully at Adam, who turned his head away. “We’re not sure about the wedding.”

 

She pouted in a disappointed manner. “Oh.”

 

“Congratulations, Lita! I know how much dancing means to you.” Marcela seemed quick to change the subject. She offered Lita a hug, who accepted it. Andre joined in on the hug, also congratulating her. “Do you want me to announce it tonight?”

 

“No, thank you. Please don’t.” Her face turned red, and she picked up her backpack. “Can we go outside in a second?”

 

“Of course,” said Andre. “Adam and Shiro, do you care to join us?”

 

“That would be great,” said Shiro. Him and Adam brought their luggage downstairs and inside of their room. When they got there, Adam lowered the blinds for the windows that were facing the pool and for the window behind their headboard. He looked nervous, but Shiro couldn’t tell why. He decided not to ask.

 

\-----

 

“Come on, put on swimsuits and get in!” Lita was in her swimsuit, swimming in the pool.

 

Shiro coughed. “I’m good. I left my swimsuit at the Garrison, anyways.” He was lying about this, as his swim trunks were packed in his suitcase. He didn’t feel comfortable swimming in only swim trunks without a water shirt.

 

Adam stared fearfully at the water, muttering something under his breath. Shiro got closer, and he could tell that Adam was repeating the word “no” under his breath.

 

“Adam, are you alright?”

 

He continued repeating the word again, and again, and again.

 

“Adam.”

 

He jumped a little, taking a few steps back. “I left my suit behind as well.” He started making his way towards the door. “I’m going to the bathroom.” His voice sounded _panicked_.

 

He urgently stepped towards the door, about to go inside, but Marcela opened the door and stepped out. She was wearing her swimsuit.

 

“Adam, why are you leaving? If you didn’t pack swimwear, I still have your old swim trunks. Maybe they still fit.

 

Adam stiffened. “No, I’m fine. I really should be-”

 

“I don’t have enough food to feed all of us over the weekend, so I’m going to have to go to the store in a bit.”

 

“I can go if you want me to,” Adam said without missing a beat.

 

“No, I can’t have you do that. You just got here.”

 

“I insist.”

 

Shiro was surprised at the acerbity of his voice. He looked around to see that Marcela and Lita appeared to feel the same way.

 

“Alright then. I’ll send the list to your phone and give you some money. If the things on the list get to be more than what I give you, I can pay you back.” She disappeared back inside.

 

Shiro, deeply concerned, turned to face his lover. “Adam, I’m coming with you.”

 

“I really don’t want you to.”

 

“I insist.”

 

Adam bit his lip, his eyes darting in various directions. “Fine, but we’re leaving in five minutes.”

 

Adam slipped inside, and Shiro turned to Lita, who was absurdly perplexed.

 

“What was that all about?”

 

“I don’t know, but I’m going to talk to him about it.”

 

\-----

 

Andre let Adam and Shiro borrow the family car. Since Adam wasn’t the best driver, he let Shiro take the wheel. They put on some music that the two of them liked and then pulled out of the driveway. The short ride was mostly smooth until Shiro spoke.

 

“Are you alright? Every time you look at that pool, you get nervous.”

 

“I’m fine, Shiro. I told you that.”

 

“I know you’re lying.”

 

“I said I’m fine.”

 

Neither of them talked for a while.

 

“If you need a wetsuit, we can get one.”

 

“I don’t want a fucking wetsuit. Just-” He crossed his arms. “That’s not the reason.”

 

“Then what is it? If it’s too personal, you don’t have to talk about it.”

 

Adam turned up the music, then said nothing for the rest of the ride.

 

They pulled up at the store and got out, locking the car. Adam pulled out his phone. “I’ll send the list to you. Do you want to separate and meet up halfway at the store? It would probably be quicker that way.”

 

“I want to stay with you.”

 

“Alright then…”

 

After he sent the list, Shiro’s pocket vibrated. The two of them entered the supermarket together, nearly touching hands but not quite. They were going to get household goods first, then food.

 

It wasn’t long before a teenage boy came up to them, hyperventilating. “Oh my god, it’s you! Two of the people from the Garrison that rose from the dead!”

 

“Oh,” Adam started. “We were never dead to begin with.”

 

Shiro still didn’t say anything on this topic.

 

“Takashi Shirogane, Adam Wright… it is an honor to meet you.”

 

A middle-aged couple appeared from another isle, appearing to be the boy’s parents. The father spoke up. “Son, leave them alone. They probably don’t want to be bothered.”

 

“But-”

 

“Don’t worry, it’s all good,” said Shiro.

 

The family went to another isle.

 

“That was weird,” said Adam. “I’m not used to this kind of recognition.”

 

“I am a little, but it still feels odd every time.”

 

They pushed their cart down countless isles, and Shiro lost track of the time, yet he didn’t bother checking his phone. After they were ready to checkout, Adam double-checked the list and froze. “We forgot to get towels.”

 

The two of them made their way over to the isle where the boy came to talk to them. They must have lost track of their task after that incident. Once they were there, Adam began to select a towel, but hesitated.

 

“Takashi, did they make you participate in The Trials? You know what I mean by _them_.”

 

“The Trials? No.”

 

He scanned the area, likely making sure they were alone. “When I was captured, they forced us qualified prisoners to participate in challenges. It was like natural selection. They kept the strongest people and sacrificed those who failed the challenges as an extra source of quintessence. I was fortunate enough to be part of the tenth that survived.”

 

“Oh, Adam-”

 

“For one of the challenges, we were thrown into tube chambers. The test was to hold our breath for as long as they deemed necessary. They flooded the chambers with water, and we were timed.” He stopped for a minute to breathe. “This guy next to me. His name was Max. He was fourteen.” He paused again.

 

“Take your time. I understand.”

 

“He didn’t make it. He became unconscious after around a minute and a half. I saw him struggle, then sink to the floor. I pounded on the glass, desperately hoping for a response, but none came. Then he-” He put a hand over his mouth. “They stopped the challenge after three minutes. They drained the water, and I was desperately gasping for air. Seven people, including Max, died in the process. Five more suffered brain damage. All twelve people were sacrificed for their quintessence. It was _horrible_ , ‘Kashi.”

 

Shiro was absolutely stunned by the story. He realized that the conditions he faced were even worse than he originally had thought. Adam was put through literal hell. He once again had the familiar burning desire to strangle Haggar. He wanted to put an end to this madness, but he wanted to make things better for Adam more than anything.

 

“Adam, I’m so sorry. You didn't deserve that. Not you, not Max, not anyone.”

 

“Now I can't even look at a large body of water without getting nauseated. That's why I hated looking at the pool, and the idea of going in it? Hell no.”

 

He looked cold, so Shiro gave him his jacket. His jacket was covering a scar that stopped at the back of his neck, but he didn't care. He just wanted Adam to be as comfortable as possible, and he wanted to be there for him. “I am so, so proud of you for opening up. I know how hard that was. It can be really hard to talk about previous experiences like that.”

 

“I feel better about it now. It’s like I got something off my chest. ” He grabbed a few towels that looked identical to the ones his family currently owned and threw them into the cart. “Alright, let’s checkout and go back to the house.”

 

\-----

 

“May I have your attention, everyone?” Marcela was standing on the small stage in Um Dia No Brasil, which was the restaurant that Adam's family owned. Shiro, Adam, Lita, and Andre were sitting at a table together.

 

Nearly everyone in the packed restaurant silenced, focusing their attention to the speaker.

 

“Today, we celebrate not only the independence of Brazil, but also the return of my son, Adam. And his boyfriend, Shiro.”

 

The two stood, raising each other's hands up. Everyone in the audience stood and clapped, many cheering. Shiro and Adam knew most of them, but this still felt odd to Shiro.

 

“The two of them have been through so much. They saved the world. Without them, we would still be overrun by the Galra. Tonight, let's honor their service.”

 

The crowd erupted into cheers, raising their fists towards the sky. Shiro honestly couldn't comprehend how he was feeling at that moment. Marcela disappeared into the kitchen, and he was left to chat with with Adam, his father, and Lita.

 

“Shiro, how much Portuguese do you know?” asked Andre. “More or less.”

 

“Oh. To be honest, I forgot a lot of it. It's been a while.” Shiro felt pretty bad about this.

 

“It’s fine,” said Adam. “I honestly forgot nearly everything I learned while studying Japanese, so I don't blame you.”

 

“But you’ve been alive longer than I have.”

 

“Takashi, I’m only older than you by a fifteen days, yet you say it like I’m _years_ older than you. What do you mean?”

 

He forgot that Adam was unfamiliar with the fact that the entire universe aged three years after sealing the rift in time, while Shiro and the rest of Team Voltron stayed the same age. “I’ll explain later.”

 

“So,” Lita held her hands together, leaning forward. “Aren't you gonna tell us about your adventures in space?”

 

“I didn't go on any adventures…” said Adam. “I was held captive on a ship for three years.”

 

Lita turned to Shiro in anticipation.

 

“I was held captive for one year, then after that I escaped and arrived on Earth. I was put under quarantine, then I woke up in a shack that Keith was living in at the time. You remember him, right? I brought him over during a few holidays.”

 

The three of them nodded.

 

“And then _bam_. We find a blue mechanical lion, it flies us away from Earth, we go through a wormhole, we discover a castle on a planet very far away from here, we meet two members of an alien race, and then we become the defenders of the universe. It’s a lot to process.”

 

All three of them were staring at Shiro with bewildered faces.

 

Adam lifted his hands up a little, then quickly put them back down on the table. “When Mom gets back, can you repeat that whole thing again? You lost me at: ‘We find a blue mechanical lion’.”

 

“Oh, sure. I forgot that you don't know much about Voltron. Speaking of which, you have a decision to make.”

 

Adam looked at him in a confused way. “What decision?”

 

“Are you coming with us in our fight to defeat Haggar, or are you staying here?”

 

“Oh, um…”

 

Andre appeared conflicted. “You’re leaving already? You just got here. I know the universe needs you and everything, but I don't know.” He sighed, moving his glasses up on top of his head and laying a land in front of his eyes. “If you decide to go, just don't get seriously hurt or die, okay? Your mother and I will be worried about you.”

 

“I would rather talk about this with Shiro in private,” said Adam, holding onto Shiro’s bicep. He could have sworn that this was the first time since Adam’s arrival back on Earth that he referred to him as “Shiro” instead of “Takashi” or something similar. He most likely did this because he strictly refused to let anyone else refer to his boyfriend as “Takashi” in a casual manner. “Can you talk about this with Mom tonight? I don't think now would be a good time.”

 

Marcela appeared from the kitchen, holding two trays of food. How she was able to carry it all, Shiro had no idea. She set the plates down in front of each person. “I’ll be right back,” She said before disappearing back into the kitchen again.

 

“Shiro, I _really_ want to know more about your time in space.”

 

Adam’s mother came back and sat down at the table. Andre was about to speak. “Marcela, you will never believe this.”

 

Shiro held his breath, and he got the sense that Adam did the same.

 

“Shiro forgot most of the Portuguese he learned.”

 

Marcela paused in the midst of sitting down and gasped, dramatically turning towards Shiro. “ _What?_ No!”

 

“It’s true. I need to study it again, I know.”

 

“Same goes for me with Japanese,” said Adam.

 

The five of them ate their dinners without speaking much.

 

“This is really good. Thank you, Ms. Wright,” said Shiro. He missed her and Adam’s delicious meals, and this dish made him feel warm inside.

 

“Anything for you! You deserve it, after all.”

 

Shiro had remembered something that he hadn’t talked about much before, but thought needed to be said.

 

“I’ve been meaning to tell you guys something.” Shiro looked up, grinning. “While I was in space, my disease was cured.”

 

Andre gasped. “Shiro, that’s great news! A miracle, even.”

 

“How did this happen?” asked Adam. “I’ve been meaning to ask.”

 

“I… uh…”

 

“Do you feel comfortable sharing?” he asked.

 

Shiro remained silent for a moment.

 

“Yes, I was cloned. I don’t really feel like going into detail.”

 

The entire family shared the look of an average sixth grader being taught calculus.

 

“WHAT?!” shouted Lita, standing up. Many turned to look. “How?”

 

“It just happened.” He still didn't want to talk about his death. When would he ever?

 

“Y-You mean…” Adam stared at him blankly. “You mean ever since I got back I’ve been dating a clone of you?”

 

“Well, no. My mind is the same. This just isn’t the body I was born with.”

 

“No crap.” Shiro could tell Adam was censoring himself.

 

“It’s a lot to explain.”

 

They ate in silence for an uncomfortably long time.

 

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you…” Adam sat his fork down. “If you knew I was alive, why didn't you come visit me?”

 

Marcela and Andre exchanged glances before she turned back to Adam. “We tried to see you, but they wouldn't allow us to.”

 

Shiro thought of many reasons why this could have happened, but he decided to stick with the assumption that since Adam’s mental condition was unstable, the Garrison didn't want to be responsible for the injuries of more than one person, and they knew that Shiro was capable of self-defense and successful combat. Shiro looked at Adam for an explanation.

 

“I was in the hospital twice,” he said, “once for examination and another due to an incident I had one night. They corrected the issue, and I’m better now.”

 

Marcela frowned in worry. “What kind of incident?”

 

“I don't really want to talk about it.”

 

“Oh, alright.” She seemed disappointed at his response.

 

After spending a few hours celebrating, dancing, and celebrating in other ways, they walked back to the house, which was only a few blocks away from the restaurant. Shiro and Adam immediately went to bed afterwards. They were completely drained.

 

\-----

 

Shiro woke to Adam springing up from the bed, desperately gasping for air like his life depended on it. He was sweating, shaking, and panting. His eyes were blank. Shiro was deeply concerned, and he wanted to help as much as possible.

 

“Hey, Adam,” he spoke quietly. “It’s me, and it's gonna be okay.”

 

“Max… Max…”

 

“Adam, what you're seeing isn't real.”

 

He gasped again, and Shiro wasn't sure if he was still dreaming or not. His expression seemed to be less frozen, so he assumed that he was no longer dreaming.

 

“It’s okay. I’m here for you. Everything's going to be alright.”

 

Adam shivered, holding the blanket close to him. “Help. What do I do? It’s been so long since I’ve had a nightmare.” His words were separated between breaths.

 

“Stay calm. Ground yourself. Breathe. Remember: patience yields focus.”

 

Shiro held both of Adam’s hands in his own, metal touching skin. The two gazed into each other's eyes. Adam’s eyes were startled and panicked. He still wasn’t calming down.

 

“Breathe with me.” Shiro whispered, and Adam's grip tightened. He audibly inhaled, and Adam did the same. When he exhaled, Adam let out the breath he was holding. They continued this for several minutes until Adam’s muscles were less tense.

 

“‘I dreamt of Max, and the event we were put through. Before the challenge, he told me how scared he was. I tried my best to reassure him, but I failed. He freaked out, and that caused him to run out of air. I could have done something. I could have-”

 

“What happened is in the past, and there’s nothing that can change that. You need to accept that. I’m sorry, but that's something you have to come to terms with.”

 

“I know that, ‘Kashi. I’m just scared. I don't know how to handle this.”

 

“Just keep breathing. You have me, and you have your family, and you have the paladins.”

 

Adam sniffled. “You’re right.”

 

“Just lean back, close your eyes, and try to fall back asleep. I’m right next to you, and I’ll be here if something happens.”

 

Shiro snuggled up next to Adam. Within a few minutes, he was out cold.

 

\-----

 

That morning, Shiro realized that he hadn't checked the group chat at all the night before. He decided to unlock his phone to see his notifications.

 

**Team Voltron**

 

**Friday 4:04 PM**

 

 **Pidge:** Well, did you two get there yet?

 

**Friday 6:42 PM**

 

 **Hunk:** Shiro???

 

 **Lance:** Im getting a little worried

 

 **Hunk:** T-T

 

**Saturday 9:07 PM**

 

 **Shiro:** I’m so sorry I didn't respond last night. It was a busy day, and we were out pretty late since it was Brazilian Independence Day, and Adam’s mom also wanted to celebrate us arriving there. We crashed as soon as we got back to the house.

 

 **Keith:** u always disappear like this smh

 

Adam woke up shortly after, and the family had breakfast. Afterwards, they went into the city to participate in an annual Brazilian festival. A few people recognized Shiro and Adam, but it wasn't as awkward as the day before. They spent a few hours there, and all five of them seemed to have enjoyed the event.

 

Andre dropped Marcela and Lita at the house, then took Shiro and Adam to their storage locker. Once they got there, Andre gave Adam the keys. “Call me whenever you’re done, and I’ll pick you up.”

 

“We will.”

 

The couple got out of the car, and Andre drove back towards the house.

 

Looking through the storage locker brought back many memories of old. While searching through the items, Shiro noticed a sign peeking out from stacks of boxes. He carefully slid the posterboard out, revealing a sign that said: “Can I eat your ass @ homecoming?” There was a very wild story behind that.

 

\-----

 

Shiro had known Adam for around a month around that time. He was sitting at lunch with his friend Veronica, who was Lance’s sister. He helplessly watched Adam pass by him, wink, then walk away.

 

“Veronica, I don't know what to do. He’s so cute.”

 

“Hmm, have you tried asking what his sexuality was?”

 

“You don't realize how hard that is,” he groaned.

 

“Hmm…” She took a bite of her food.

 

“And yesterday? Super weird. We were at the library working on chemistry homework, and then he said: ‘Maybe next time you can do something other than your homework.’ I’m confused.”

 

“It means he likes you! Real smooth, too.”

 

“Are you sure? I mean, ugh,” Shiro mumbled. “What if I ask him out but forget something in English? What if he’s straight? What if he’s just teasing me? How do I ask him out?”

 

Veronica slammed her fists on the table. “Eat his ass!” Two people turned to look.

 

“Shh, you’re gonna out me to the whole school.”

 

“Homecoming is next week.” She took another bite. “I can help you if you want.”

 

A few days later, Veronica devised a plan. Her and Shiro followed Adam into a McDonalds. Once Adam entered the bathroom, Shiro walked in with a sign saying: “Can I eat your ass @ homecoming?”. He was pretty sure he recorded the whole thing somehow.

 

Adam gasped, blushing. “Oh my god, yeah!”

 

They started dating afterwards. Shiro realized that he needed to give Veronica more credit.

 

\-----

 

Adam snorted upon sight of the sign. “Pfft, aha!” He then broke into a fit of laughter. Did Shiro mention that he missed his laugh? God, did he miss his laugh.

 

Shiro put the sign back, and both of them continued to look through boxes and photo albums and other objects they happened to come across.

 

After a while, they called Andre to pick them up. The two decided to take a few small items with them, with approval from Andre. Once they got inside the house, they headed to their bedroom. Adam was about to take a nap, while Shiro had out a notebook. He wanted to write two letters: one to the surgeons that performed the successful operation on Adam and one to Veronica.

 

\-----

 

Shiro woke up, this time to the sound of the bedroom door shutting. Adam was gone. It wasn't long after that before he decided to investigate. It was unlikely he went to use the main bathroom, since his and Lita’s rooms were linked together by a connected full bath. He left the room and was about to head upstairs, but he noticed that the back door was unlocked. He decided to go outside.

 

The patio chairs centered around the small table were empty, and the grill was untouched. He looked beyond the dark patio towards the pool, which was lit up by several circular lights bordering the edges of the pool bottom.

 

Adam was shirtless and in his older swim trunks, strapped to the pool ladder with a belt.

 

“Adam! Oh my god.” Shiro knelt down, getting closer to him. Adam’s expression looked petrified, similar to how he looked the night before.

 

“Don’t untie the belt. Leave it.”

 

“I don’t… I don't understand. Why would you do this?”

 

“Don't you get it? Sometimes you have to face your fears, and if that means strapping yourself to a pool ladder, then that's what it comes down to.”

 

“This isn't necessary.”

 

Adam reached for Shiro’s hand, holding it in his own. “I can't live with this fear. It will only hold me down.”

 

“There are more healthy ways of dealing with this.”

 

“Like what? Therapy? I can't wait until Monday for that. I need to get over this _now_.”

 

Shiro sighed. “Just untie yourself and get out of the pool.”

 

“I don't have to do shit. You don't control me. You don't think I can do it?” His fingers began to unfasten the belt buckle, and his breaths became increasingly shaky. “I bet I can hold my breath underwater. Possibly longer than Max was able to. How’s that for getting over my fears?”

 

“Adam, no.”

 

He finished unfastening the belt, and he sank towards the bottom.

 

“Adam!”

 

Shiro took off his shirt and sweatpants, and he cautiously dove in after him, hoping that his prosthetic was waterproof. He fought against the force of water holding him back, and he had one goal in mind. The only thing he could focus on was his lover’s pained expression. Once Adam was in reach, he pulled him close to his chest, bringing them both back up to the surface.

 

They were both gasping for air when they came up, grasping the edge of the pool for support. Adam was still shaking, and this was much to Shiro’s concern.

 

“You really didn’t have to do that, Takashi. I was fine. I would have come up for air eventually.”

 

“I knew that, but-” He tried to organize what he wanted to say. “I don’t want to lose you again. I love you, Adam.” He laced his fingers with Adam’s. “And I will _never_ abandon you. Never again.”

 

“Neither will I.” Adam’s grip became stronger.

 

Shiro then thought of something. He tested his prosthetic hand, and it seemed to be fully functional. “Is yours okay?”

 

Adam flexed his arm, examining it. “Hmm, I think I’m okay. Guess this thing is waterproof.”

 

Shiro was about to get out of the pool, but stopped after his back was splashed with water. He turned to find Adam standing there with a smirk on his face.

 

“Was that a challenge?” Shiro dipped back down into the water.

 

“Yup.” Adam stood there, moving his hands back and forth in the water, awaiting Shiro’s next move.

 

Shiro grinned. “You’re on!”

 

He used his floating hand to generate a massive wave, completely drenching Adam. The newly soaked man laughed in response, playfully fighting back with more splashes. They intended their own methods of creating waves, giggling more with every attack. For once, they were reckless teenagers again.

“Adam? Shiro? What the fuck is going on here?!”

 

The two of them stopped, alarmed at the suddenness of the voice. They turned to see Lita peering down on them from the edge of the pool, holding a glass of water.

 

“Lita!” said Adam, ducking behind the pool’s edge. Shiro assumed that he didn’t want Lita to see him like this. “What are you doing out here?”

 

“I could ask the same of you.” She sat at the chair closest to the pool, turning it around to face them. “You guys aren’t exactly quiet. I got up to get some water, and then I heard voices coming from outside. I ignored them, but I got curious while I was on my way back to my room.”

 

“Oh, sorry. We didn’t mean to wake you.”

 

“It’s midnight. You two should probably get some rest. Come on, I’ll get you some towels.”

 

Adam used the pool ladder to pull himself up, and Shiro was about to, but he remembered that he was only wearing underwear instead of an actual swimsuit.

 

“God, Lita, I’m sorry… Could you get an extra towel for me, please?”

 

Lita held a hand in front of her mouth. “Oh, uh, sure thing.”

 

She went inside, and Adam stood in her place. “You’re probably wearing nothing but underwear, right?

 

“Yep.”

 

“Ah, that sucks.”

 

Lita returned with the towels in hand, turning on the patio light. “I got the tow-”

 

Her voice trailed off as she caught sight of the two men. Shiro knew exactly why. Both of their bodies were almost completely exposed, fully illuminated by the patio lighting.

 

As she slowly gave Adam and Shiro their towels, she gave off the appearance of someone who just single handedly ruined someone’s life and felt regret about the incident immediately after. Shiro hated seeing her like this, and it was a look he’d never, ever seen her share with him.

 

“I’m sorry about earlier,” she said. “I shouldn’t have pressured you guys to swim.” She held her head in shame.

 

“Lita, you only asked us three times, twice before we even got in the pool, and you didn’t force us to get in. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” Shiro smiled as he got out of the pool, wrapping one of the towels around his waist and the other around his arms and torso. Adam was now sitting on the chair, bundled up like a burrito. He looked adorable, and Shiro so desperately wanted to kiss him.

 

So he did.

 

And he felt even more alive.

 

\-----

 

Adam sat on the edge of the bed, leaning over Shiro. “Takashi, wake up. I need to tell you something.”

 

Shiro groaned. “What is it? It’s too early for news.”

 

“It’s 10 in the morning.”

 

“Oh.” Shiro was surprised that he had this hard of a time waking up, as this almost never happened.

 

“Yeah, and we have to leave soon, so you should probably get up.” Adam rotated his body. “Anyways, I talked to Mom this morning, and she said the choice to go with you was up to me, so…”

 

Shiro had been waiting for this news for ages. “What did you decide on?”

 

“I’m never letting you go to space again.”

 

“Ada-”

 

“Not without me.” The corners of his mouth turned upward. “I know you have no choice but to go, so I’m coming with you. I will always stay by your side for as long as possible.”

 

Shiro didn’t say anything. He just smiled, and abruptly wrapped his arms around Adam.

 

“I take it you're happy that I’m going with you guys.”

 

“I don't want it any other way.”

 

\-----

 

Shiro and Adam were back in their Garrison uniforms and about to leave, and Marcela stood in the entryway with Andre and Lita, which Simon was running around Adam’s legs. “I’m so glad you two came over for the weekend. I wish you could stay longer.”

 

Adam pat Simon on the head. “I wish we could as well,” he said, “but the universe needs us.”

 

Andre smiled. “Oh, I bet.”

 

“Just be safe up there,” said Lita. “I don't want either of you getting seriously hurt.”

 

“We’ll try,” said Shiro.

 

The family waved their final farewells, and Shiro and Adam began walking towards the train station.

 

\-----

 

**Team Voltron**

 

**Sunday 11:36 AM**

 

 **Keith:** shiro we need you here now we’re under attack

 

 **Pidge:** WE COULD REALLY USE THE ATLAS RIGHT NOW

 

 **Lance:** I cant hold them off forever

 

 **Shiro:** I'll be there as soon as I can.

 

Shiro turned off his phone, running a hand through his hair. Adam put his phone down as well, making eye contact with Shiro.

 

“Team Voltron is in danger. How many stops are left?” asked Shiro.

 

“We get off in three stops,” said Adam.

 

Shiro could do nothing besides tap his foot on the metal floor.

 

They got off at their stop, and as they were running to the Atlas, Shiro received an incoming call from Allura. He answered it.

 

“Allura?”

 

“We’ve defeated the Robeast, but we face a much different threat now. Track my location and go to where I’m at.”

 

“You got it.” Shiro went to the app that allowed him to see the location where most of his contacts were. He registered the location, and the two set a course for that destination.

 

They turned out to be in the Garrison cafeteria, fighting back against a group of heavily-armed individuals with vividly colored hair. Lance, Keith, and Hunk were hiding behind a table, while Allura and Pidge were attacking. Coran and Romelle were cornered behind another table, whimpering. They looked defenseless.

 

After taking cover with Adam, Shiro took a closer look. All seven of these strangers had Altean markings.


	8. Hunger Of The Pine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Voltron fights against the attacking strangers. Shiro has a nightmare, and Adam takes him on a small adventure to help him relax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m still trying to finish this by December 14th, so I may have to sacrifice chapter length. Expect short chapters after this, and especially near the end.  
> Fun fact: Despite the story taking place in the desert, the beach featured in this scene is based on a beach I’ve been to near Boston. Ironically, the song “This Time” by Land of Talk came on as I was writing part of this, and that song heavily reminds me of that memory. Anyone interested? No? Okay.  
> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter mentions trauma, a vivid nightmare, guilt, suicide, blood, gore, a panic attack, alcohol, and vomiting. Many of this can be avoided simply by skipping the second scene. Please keep this in mind before reading.

“Who are these people?” asked Adam. He was tightly gripping Shiro’s hand. Adam’s palm began to sweat, or maybe it was Shiro’s. He had no idea.

  
“They’re Alteans. I don’t know where they came from, but something tells me it has to do with the Robeast that was attacking them earlier.”

  
An Altean made an attempted attack on them where they were ducking, and they dodged, bumping into chairs. They moved to a slightly different location further down the cafeteria.

  
“Are these Allura’s people?”

  
“No, they’re likely from one of the Altean colonies. They might know where to find them. We can use that information to track Haggar. Don’t hurt them.”

  
Adam looked at the paladins being attacked, then at his arm, then back at the paladins. He seemed conflicted, and Shiro knew why.

  
Takashi tenderly placed a hand on Adam’s shoulder. “I know you don’t want to use that. Maybe you don’t have to. There might be another way.”

  
“We’ll see about that.”

  
Shiro couldn’t bear listening to the other paladins struggle. He ran towards the them, which was where most of the attackers were.

  
“What do you think you’re doing?!” Adam shouted. “By going over there, you’re just asking to get hurt.”

  
“I have to help!”

  
Shiro continued to dodge over tables to get to the paladins. He heard quick footsteps from behind him, and he turned to see Adam catching up with him. Shiro smiled back at him, then turned to the attackers.

  
Without warning, Shiro knocked a sword out of the hands of an Altean male that was attacking Pidge. He took the sword and offered it to Adam, but he refused, so he kept it. Shiro wasn’t as skilled at using handheld weapons, but he had to utilize the resources he had. There was no other choice.

  
Another attacker pursued Shiro, but Shiro fought back with the sword. The two of them fought strainingly, and they were back near Shiro and Adam’s original hiding spot all of a sudden. Shiro managed to take control, pinning the Altean against solid wall. The Altean tried to fight back, but he barely managed.

  
He heard Adam yell behind him, then turned to look. Shiro’s entire world spun in that moment, and it was a lot to process. A female Altean was about to charge at Shiro with a blade. That’s when Adam dove in front of Shiro, activating his Galra sword. The vicious Altean jumped in the air with a look that said, _I am willing to decapitate you right in this very moment, and I’m thirsty for blood_. Before the Altean could manage to attack, Adam struck the blade, and it shattered into many dozens of sharp, microscopic pieces.

  
Shiro realized that the male Altean had gotten away, but he could still restrain this other attacker.

  
So that’s what he and Adam did.

  
“Coran, Romelle,” Shiro began to yell, “help us out here!”

  
They began to move to their location, when several Garrison staff and the MFE pilots arrived at the scene. Iverson noticed Shiro and Adam restraining the Altean, and he began to cautiously arrive at the scene along with two security guards. Once in range, the guards handcuffed the Altean and took her away.

  
Shiro turned to Adam. “Are you ready for this?”

  
Adam looked down at his arm, with his expression changing between guilt and determination. “Let’s do it.”

  
The two stood back-to-back, ready to take on the world. They stood with their arms in front of them and confident faces. Most of the Alteans seemed very intimidated by them, as they staggered back upon sight of them.

  
Adam held the power to destroy. Shiro held the power to create. Together, they were an unstoppable force.

  
The attacker that Shiro stole the sword from was second to be contained. Lance and Hunk tackled him, and another security guard handcuffed him. Shortly after, Iverson walked him outside of the cafeteria and down the hall. Shiro was unsure of where they were going.

  
The MFE pilots managed to take down one more. There were now four Alteans left.

  
Adam threatened a remaining Altean with his arm, and Romelle took this chance to tackle her to the ground. Coran came by to further restrain her. Security officials then dealt with the situation.

  
Shiro and Adam teamed with Keith to take down one of the three remaining Alteans. He appeared to be armed with a gun, so Keith used his shield from his bayard to block the bullets, as Shiro and Adam were lacking armor. Adam attacked from the side, slicing the gun in half. Shiro pinned the man against the wall until the Garrison staff took over. Adam and Shiro gave each other a high five.

  
Shiro heard a grunt come from the corner of the room and turned to look. Pidge had tangled a redheaded boy, who appeared to have a different uniform than the rest of the group, with her bayard, and all by herself it seemed. He was extremely proud of her.

  
He also noticed Lance and Hunk defending themselves against a woman with straight, elegant white hair and armor. Those remaining in the room circled around her to the point where she was completely surrounded.

  
“Keith.”

  
Lance held Keith’s hand, and they charged forward, knocking the sword out of her hands.

  
The remaining Garrison staff put her under restraints and took her and the boy out of the cafeteria. Now all that remained was the Voltron crew. Everyone except Shiro looked at Adam in utter amazement.

  
“What?” asked Adam. “I’ve been on that ship longer than Shiro has. I know how to use this thing.”

  
They remained silent for a while. Finally, Pidge spoke. “Adam…”

  
Shiro and Adam both rolled their eyes. They couldn't even count the number of times people have quoted that old video to them.

  
“Pidge,” Lance started, walking up to her. “That video is like fifty years old.”

  
“Sorry, I couldn't help it.” She laughed. “My parents would show Matt and I Vine compilations all the time.”

  
He looked at Shiro and Adam with a smug look on his face. “While you were gone, we dressed up as you guys and made videos.”

  
“Lance…” said Shiro, though he was genuinely curious about the videos. He wanted to get a good laugh. “Send them to me.”

  
“Will do.” He turned back to Pidge. “Oh, and my parents would show us Vine compilations too,” groaned Lance. “I’m guessing we had different reactions to it.”

  
Shiro looked at Adam. He thought back to his family’s reactions to seeing them both: Marcela was shocked, Andre was proud, and Lita was excited. These were three contrasting reactions, and that reflected off personality as well as other factors. Shiro began to embrace the variety, as he found likeness to be boring.

  
“I guess we all have different reactions to things.”

  
\-----

  
Shiro was in a small, empty room that resembled the inside of a cube. The walls and floors were completely white. He tried to look for an escape, but there was none in sight. He was trapped and alone.

  
“Takashi.”

  
Or so he thought.

  
He turned, and there was Adam, who came completely out of nowhere. He looked pissed, and he had rarely seen him this angry. Adam was approaching him, his fists curled into balls.

  
“Adam?”

  
“It’s your fault I’m like this. This is all your doing.”

  
This stabbed Shiro greater than any knife or sword ever could.

  
“Adam, I’m sorry. I wasn’t in control.”

  
“Not in control? Were you ‘not in control’ when you left me for fucking _space_ _rocks_?”

  
Shiro tried to fight off any guilt that arose. “It was so much more than that and you know it.”

  
“Was it more important than me?”

  
“I-” Shiro wanted to say part of the reason, but he chose not to. He realized that there was so much he was keeping from Adam, and that he had no idea if he would ever tell him those things. “I’d been dreaming about this my entire life.”

  
“You put the whole world in danger. You let Sendak get away, and so many innocent people have died as a result of your careless actions. Hell, I would have killed myself if Lance and Keith hadn’t come.”

  
Shiro looked down, avoiding his intimidating stare. He had been dodging that thought for so long. “I know, and I’m sorry for that.”

  
“No, you aren’t. You’re Shiro. You save everyone around you, and yet you couldn’t even manage to save your own boyfriend.”

  
It hurt to hear Adam call him “Shiro” in this sense.

  
“Just let me explain.” His voice was hoarse.

  
He inched the collar of his turtleneck sweater down to reveal to reveal the scar across his neck. “You’re the reason I have this scar. You’re the reason I have all of these scars. You’re the reason I have this.” He held his prosthetic arm in front of him.

  
These words stung, and Shiro was aching. He began to panic, sweating and trembling. His fingers latched into his hair.

  
“You’re a monster, Shiro. You’re just as much of a monster as Sendak.”

  
“STOP IT!”

  
Shiro slapped Adam hard across the face with his left hand, and he had the same feeling he felt when Sendak was mentally tormenting him a year back. He was greeted with an overwhelming sense of dread that overtook his entire body and mind. There was a reddish mark across Adam’s face, and he looked as if he wanted to retaliate, but he didn’t.

  
“That’s how important I am to you, isn’t it?”

  
“That’s not true,” he blurted instantaneously. He needed to justify himself. “I would save your ass in a heartbeat.”

  
There was a long, dreadful beat of silence.

  
“Then prove it.”

  
He formed his Galra sword, held it up to his throat, and quickly dug in, slicing it like butter.

  
“No!”

  
Adam’s lifeless body fell to the ground. Black liquid poured from the large wound, pooling onto the floor. All Shiro could do was watch, and he was horrified by the sight. He knelt over his deceased body, fighting back tears.

  
“It’s just like last time, isn’t it?”

  
This was Adam’s voice. It wasn’t coming from his body, but was rather a voice in Shiro’s mind. Shiro couldn’t take it any longer. He screamed.

  
\-----

  
There was a storm plaguing Shiro’s heavily fortified city. The walls became weaker and weaker with every second, as the rain and lightning eroded it away. The citizens feigned a long recovery.

  
Shiro woke up in that very moment, sweating profusely and trembling to the bone, his breathing being the only sound he heard. He was burning, yet he felt like he was buried in snow at the same time, and he could feel warm tears stream down his face as he held a hand to his mouth. His brain processed everything he witnessed in that dream: Adam storming towards him with fury, the words he said, the slap mark across his cheek, his bleeding body lying on the floor, a pool of blood. He hated it so much.

  
“‘Kashi, are you alright?”

  
Shiro turned to him in an abrupt motion, just like Adam did the night he went rogue. He couldn’t muster a response since he was unable to slow his rapid and heavy breathing. Shiro was relieved to find that Adam was alive, but he felt dangerous in that moment, and he felt guilty just from being near him. He was still disturbed at the instinct to slap Adam, and he felt like a horrible person for doing that, even if it was just a dream after all.

  
“It’s alright. Breathe with me.”

  
It was as if the roles from that Friday night were reversed. Here Adam was, instructing Shiro to slow his breathing. When Adam’s stomach expanded, Shiro inhaled. When Adam’s stomach retracted, Shiro exhaled. Shiro attempted to follow the rise and fall of his stomach. It was supposed to be simple, but it was such a difficult task for Shiro at the time. After five minutes of doing nothing but breathing, Shiro’s anxiety finally faded enough to where he was no longer gasping for a breath. Although his anxiety had been reduced, another force came: water.

  
He began to sob, and his breathing turned shaky and choked.

  
“Adam… I’m-I’m so sorry.”

  
“Sorry for what? There is nothing you need to be sorry for.” Adam looked Shiro in the eyes, and he could tell that Adam was trying to remain calm but inside, he was worried.

  
“Everything.” He shifted away from Adam with the slightest movement. His crying spell had died down, and he was able to properly speak again. “Last year, we captured Sendak. We were planning on interrogating him, and he wasn’t responding. He began to talk when I was alone with him, but the things he said…” Shiro tried not to think back to the horrible words Sendak told him, but they were still vivid in his mind. “Things could have been okay, but I had to have a fucking panic attack and launched him into space. It was a mistake that cost you your arm and costed Earth thousands.”

  
Adam was silent for a moment, and Shiro hoped that it was because he was processing everything. “It’s not your fault. That was something you couldn’t control. Besides, you didn’t know this was gonna happen.”

  
“You saw how he was. He doesn’t care about anyone other than his people. He doesn’t value the lives of others; not even his own.”

  
“I swear, if he was still alive, I would single handedly kick his ass.” His face tightened into clear rage. “He’s hurt you so much, and nothing I do can completely fix that. Glad the fucker got what he deserved.”

  
“Yeah, me too. Fucking finally.” Shiro sighed, leaning back. “That doesn't make up for all I’ve done, though. All those people are still dead.”

  
“They were going to die eventually.”

  
Shiro gave Adam a judgmental look.

  
“That doesn't help, does it? I told you, you had no control over the situation.”

  
“I just can't stop feeling bad about it.”

  
Adam looked off into the distance for a moment as if he was deeply thinking. “I may not be able to magically get rid of your trauma like in badly written books, no, but I can help you learn to overcome your thoughts. It doesn't always mean strapping yourself inside a pool, though. There are other ways of overcoming fear. For now, maybe we need to get out of here for the night so you can clear your head.”

  
Shiro looked up. “What are you saying?”

  
“It’s 11:36. The last Blue Line train leaves at midnight. If we get to the station in time, we can get to Catalina Beach and be back at around eight in the morning. Are you up for it?”

  
“Oh, uh…” He realized how much he hated this room at the moment, and how foggy his head was, and how he was a person destined for adventure. He made a decision. “Yeah, actually. That would be great.”

  
The two got up out of bed. Adam grabbed a hoodie that was lying over the chair in the bedroom, not bothering to change out of his sweatpants. Shiro threw on his leather jacket over his black tank top, also not changing out of his current pants. They tied their shoes, made sure they had everything, and left.

  
\-----

  
Shiro checked the time on his phone as him and Adam were jogging to the station. “Shit, it’s 11:56. It’ll be here in four minutes.”

  
Their jogging turned into running as the station came into view.

  
Adam struggled to pull money out of his wallet as they were running. “We still have to pay for our tickets. Fuck.”

  
They full-on sprinted to the ticket kiosk. Once they were there, Adam began to make the purchase.

  
The voice from the intercom sounded ahead. “Last train on the ‘Blue Line’ to ‘Catalina Beach’ arrives in one minute. The next train will arrive at 7 am.”

  
“How are the tickets coming along?”

  
“I’m trying my best. Almost...”

  
The train began to approach.

  
“Shit, it’s here.”

  
He urgently fumbled with his cash. “I know.”

  
The train arrived, the tickets finished printing, and the two of them ran like hell to the nearest door. Shiro used his floating hand to hold the door open, giving him and Adam enough time to get through. Once they were on, his hand returned back to his side, and the door shut. The train moved forward, and they were no longer at the Garrison.

  
\-----

  
**Team Voltron**

**  
Monday 12:05 AM**

**  
Shiro:** Adam and I have left the Garrison for the night. We should be back around 8 tomorrow.

  
**Pidge:** Getting romantic, I see? ;)

  
**Shiro:** Pidge, go to bed.

  
**Pidge:** ;(

  
They had been on the train for five minutes. Shiro was leaning on the window, and Adam was resting his head on Shiro's broad shoulder. Shiro couldn't tell in Adam was sleeping or not until he spoke.

  
“‘Kashi?”

  
“Yes?”

  
“I wanted to talk to you about the message you sent me a while back.”

  
This caught Shiro’s attention. He recalled the message he had sent a while back. “What do you have to say about it?”

  
“I-” He lifted his hands upward, keeping them low to his lap. “Look, I’m going to be honest with you. I didn’t know what to think. Should I have been angry? Should I have been scared? Should I have been relieved? I had no idea. I just knew you were alive, and you were fighting in some alien war. That seemed so odd back then. Now it sounds completely normal.”

  
“Oh, I know.”

  
“I was so worried about you, and I thought you were going to die, and your hair was two different colors back then. Most of your hair remained the same color of black, but that floofy thing that you have was white. You had that scar across your nose, and I couldn’t help but wonder how you got it. You were hiding your right arm away from me, and when I rewatched the video, I found out why. I saw the metal.” He decided to take a break from talking. Adam seemed slightly upset, but didn’t display that very much.

  
Shiro thought back to when he recorded that video, and the nervous feeling game back. “I was worried about this when I filmed that. I considered hiding my body completely, but I thought that would be a dick thing to do.” He remembered their apprehensive conversation that Friday. “It’s just like how you felt before seeing your family. I was just as nervous.”

  
“I could tell a long time ago. Your facial expression said it all. You were happy, but something was off. You seemed unsure of yourself.”

  
Shiro was taken off guard. He forgot Adam noticed things like that. Adam was a very observant person.

  
“Yeah, I was.” He tried to think of other things to say, but a new question arose in his mind. “Did you have a say in fighting in that battle? If you knew I was alive, and if you had a choice to opt out of that battle, then why did you do it?”

  
Adam appeared to be thinking of a response. He seemed troubled. “Before the battle, Commander Holt came up to me. He reminded me that you were alive, and that we could possibly be reunited in the future. Commander Holt also told me that this was almost certain suicide. He gave me the chance to opt out, but I didn’t. Besides, I had a squad to lead, and I couldn’t leave them to dust. Now that I think about it, that’s exactly what I’ve done. Everyone else’s pod crashed, and I never saw any of those people again. I assumed they hadn’t survived the crash like I did.” He looked up at Shiro with a sorrowness to his eyes. “I wanted you to come back home the way you remembered it. I’m sorry things didn’t turn out that way.”

  
“Adam, it’s not your fault.” He kissed his forehead. “You had no control over that.”

  
\-----

  
The train stopped at Catalina Beach, and the couple got off.

  
The misty coastal breeze braced through the air, and it was rather refreshing to Shiro. The salty aroma surrounded them, and a gust of wind passed through Shiro's wintry hair. He was tempted to take his jacket off, but his mind was dubious. By removing his jacket, much of his skin would be exposed. He thought back in retrospect to his memory as his clone. He had worn a short-sleeved shirt back then. The paladins already knew. So what if a few strangers found out?

  
Shiro slipped his jacket off his muscular and square shoulders, tying leather sleeves around his waist. He could now feel the September breeze grazing his left arm, giving him a tingling sensation across his skin. The hair on his arm stood on end. He was chilly, but this was the first time in a while that he enjoyed feeling this way.

  
Shiro looked at Adam, who shuffled his feet a bit, almost on the verge of performing a jazz square.

  
“The breeze feels nice,” said Shiro.

  
Adam, taking a deep breath, lifted his hoodie off of his body. His gray T-shirt rose, and his scarred back was openly displayed until he fully slipped off the sweatshirt, tying it around the waist of his sweatpants. His arms, too, were mostly exposed. Adam’s shy face suggested that he was insecure. Shiro couldn’t argue with that. Adam slipped his hand into Shiro’s, and they met eyes.

  
The two men left the train station and began to walk along the sidewalk next to the beach. Reflective waters of the singing sea came into view. The sand was littered with rocks and seaweed, and there were countless rectangular pavilions connected to the sidewalk. They jogged down the concrete, passing the moonlit ocean and antique street lamps. After a while, they stopped, looking at the calm, serene waters. The sight alone was enough to put Shiro at ease, and the other elements combined with that made for a cozy and warm feeling, despite the chilly air.

  
“Do you want to walk for around a mile or so and see if we can find somewhere that’s open?” Adam asked. “I don’t really feel like going back to sleep.”

  
“Me neither.”

  
“We can listen to music along the way.”

  
Shiro was open to the concept. “Sure, let’s do it.”

  
Adam put on their favorite playlist from several years ago. They shared headphones, holding hands and strolling along the deserted walkway. Everything was so peaceful at night with no one around.

  
Shiro began to sing along to one of the songs they were listening to. After a verse, Adam joined in. They were both amazing singers, and they would often sing karaoke together. Everyone feared them during karaoke battles. They would often serenade each other and sing songs together. Regardless of the situation, they both secretly loved to sing. It served as an escape from any negativity, and reminded Shiro of how they first met when Adam noticed him singing.

  
After the song ended, Adam turned down the music. “Takashi, I want to say something.”

  
Shiro was attentive. “Yeah?”

  
“I may have had many reactions to that message, but one stood out the most.” Adam halted along with Shiro, pulling him close. “I was, and still am, so fucking proud of you. You saved countless lives and done do many things. When you listed some of those things in your message, I was amazed. You've come so far. You’re the bravest person I know.”

  
Shiro was speechless.

  
“That's my kickass space boyfriend.”

  
He planted a kiss on Shiro's lips.

  
\-----

  
It took five more minutes of walking to find restaurants, bars, and food stands past the seemingly endless row of apartments and houses.

  
“Now that I think about it,” said Shiro, “what kind of place would he open at 1:30 in the morning?”

  
“A bar?”

  
“Wanna go to one?”

  
“I’m not sure if drinking at 2 am an hour away from the Garrison is the best idea.”

  
“It’ll be fine. They won’t even know we’re gone. I just want a drink.”

  
Adam finally gave in. “Alright, fine. There’s a gay bar over there.” He pointed to a building with a pride flag hanging from the exterior. “It closes at two, and there’s no way in Hell we’re getting wasted.”

  
\-----

  
To make a long story short: they got wasted.

  
Before they entered the bar, Adam slipped his hoodie back on. Shiro left his jacket tied around his waist. He didn’t care about anything at that point.

  
One may wonder how drunk two people can get in thirty minutes. The answer: pretty damn drunk. Shiro and Adam made it a competition to consume the most alcohol they could handle before they stopped serving drinks.

  
While they were there, Shiro noticed several people staring at them, and specifically himself. His mind began jumping to conclusions. At first he thought that he was being stared at because of his scars, but then he realized that he had a floating arm. Obviously, that was bound to turn some heads.

  
They stepped, or stumbled, out of the bar after it had closed. They were giggling and laughing at practically nothing.

  
“Adam, you’re so cute. Are you single?”

  
“Takashi, we’re boyfriends.”

  
Shiro giggled at how stupid his own question was and Adam’s blunt response, but he began to question everything? Were they actually boyfriends, or were they exes who called each other boyfriends sometimes?

  
Before Shiro could notice the transition, Adam was walking in a cursive-like line, his stance transforming into that of the undead. He was mumbling stuff under his breath, and Shiro couldn’t make out any of it. He found it adorable.

  
When they were halfway to the Garrison, they stopped at a pavilion across the street from a shack that sold seafood. They sat down on a bench, conversing and laughing like there was no tomorrow.

  
“Hey, let’s do karaoke,” Adam blurted out, holding his phone in the air.

  
“Yeah,” said Shiro, dragging out the word for way too long.

  
It took them several minutes to type without keyboard smashing, but they finally managed to look up a few karaoke videos. Adam set his phone on a table and they began to sing.

  
Sober Adam sung like an angel and danced as if he was being precisely guided by nature itself. Drunk Adam sung like an injured, soft-spoken donkey and danced as if he was on fire and in slow-motion.

  
The two of them sung, or hummed, along to multiple songs. As they sung, they awkwardly danced along to the music. It was a good thing no one was watching them at the time, because this would have been considered a street act.

  
By the time it was past three in the morning, they were both exhausted, so they wrapped up their nonsense karaoke battles.

  
“Hold on, I’ll set an alarm for 6:30 tomorrow” said Adam. He took the phone, opened an app, typed something, and put the phone in his pocket.

  
“We should probably go to bed,” Shiro suggested.

  
“You’re probably right. We have to get up in a few hours anyways.”

  
Shiro lied down on one of the benches, and Adam plopped down on top of him shortly after. They were starting to drift asleep.

  
“Goodnight, Adam.” Shiro gently ruffled his hair.

  
“Mmm… must preserve time statue warp.”

  
Shiro was now snickering. “I have no idea what you’re saying, but it’s adorable.”

  
After a few moments, Adam muttered, “Start new living room.”

  
Shiro was trying not to laugh. “It’s like waking you up at the Garrison all over again,” he whispered. He reminisced of all the absurdity of words Adam mumbled when he was being woken up.

  
Just as Shiro was two seconds away from falling asleep, Adam was saying something else.

  
“We have to follow the orange brick road.”

  
Shiro swore that he could barely hold his laughter. “What?”

  
Adam quickly stood with a swaying motion and closed eyes, which alarmed Shiro a bit. “You know, the orange brick road. The orange bri-“ He opened his eyes, and stared at the ground with the most blank and dead expression Shiro had ever seen. “Oh.”

  
Shiro couldn’t stifle his laughter any longer. He laughed so hard that his stomach hurt and he could barely breathe.

  
Adam stared at Shiro with a slightly confused expression. “What’s so funny?”

  
It took him a minute to respond. “Listen to yourself. You’re not making any sense.”

  
Adam didn’t say anything to this. He just lied back on top of Shiro and passed out almost immediately. It didn’t take long after that for Shiro to fall asleep as well.

  
\-----

  
When they woke up, Shiro had a horrendous headache. It appeared Adam felt the same way, as his hand was glued to his head. The two carefully sat up, groaning with every movement.

  
“Ugh, I’m never drinking again,” Shiro groaned.

 

“Takashi, this is the biggest lie you ever told, and you pretended to date Veronica for a year and a half in order to convince your grandfather that you were straight. When he came to visit one time, you guys were so obvious about faking it. Since everyone at that time knew we were dating, it took everything I had to avoid someone mentioning that to him.”

 

A flood of bad memories rushed over Shiro’s mind like a tsunami. Even a small mention of his grandfather was enough to bring back shame and guilt, and he thought of their last crushing moments together. “I’d rather not talk about him.”

 

Adam’s eyes widened, and his grin turned into a presumably guilty frown. “Oh… right. Sorry, I forgot.” He shifted slightly in his place. “I’m just saying that you’re lucky Veronica was willing to put up with your ass.

  
Shiro pulled out his phone, and his eyes widened upon sight of the time. “God, it’s 2:27?!”

  
“That’s weird. I set an alarm.”

  
Shiro noticed several new text notifications. He decided to look through the group chat.

  
**Team Voltron**

**  
Monday 3:09 AM**

**  
Adam:** 6:30

  
**Team Voltron**

**  
Monday 6:01 AM**

**  
Lance:** Adam

  
**Lance:** I think you meant to enter this in the ALARM app

  
**Pidge:** He didn’t even enter this in the calculator app. He straight up texted us this

  
**Hunk:** Don’t you mean… GAY up texted us this??? ;)

  
**Pidge:** SCFVTHTHF

  
**Keith:** adam did u get drunk last night

  
**Pidge:** We can all tell. There’s no need to ask

  
**Keith:** just stay safe ok

  
**Team Voltron**

**  
Monday 10:21 AM**

  
**Allura:** Shiro and Adam, get some water and get here as soon as you can.

  
**Team Voltron**

**  
Monday 2:29 PM**

**  
Shiro:** I am so sorry about this. We’ll try to make it back as soon as possible.

  
“Adam, you didn’t set an alarm last night. You texted the time to the group chat. Now everyone knows we got drunk.”

  
His face turned redder than Keith’s jacket. “Did I?”

  
“Yeah, and now Allura’s gonna have our heads. We need to buy some water and head back.”

  
“Hungover? No fucking way I’m listening to everyone bitch at us with a killer headache. We need to stay at a hotel tonight.”

  
“Are you kidding? Adam, we have to go back.”

  
“We’ll leave first thing tomorrow, okay? We’ll get up early and catch the first train at six. Relax. It will be okay.”

  
“I’m sure they need our help. They’ve captured several Altean prisoners, and we leave when things get busy. I have a bad feeling about this.”

  
“They’ll probably put us to work immediately, and we won’t be of much use hungover. Trust me on this. If we interrogate prisoners like this, they won’t be able to take us seriously.”

  
Shiro took a moment to think of the choices and the possible outcomes. Finally, he made up his mind.

  
“Fine, but we’re taking the first train tomorrow.”

  
Lucky for them, there was a convenience store a few blocks away. They stopped in, and a bell near the door sounded.

  
“If we’re going to be staying the night, we need to get more stuff besides water,” said Shiro.

  
“You’re right. We probably need snacks, basic essentials, and a change of clothes.”

  
Shiro typed a list, read the items out loud, and sent it to Adam. “Sounds good.”

  
They decided to split the list, and it took them around ten to fifteen minutes to gather all of the items. Once they met each other back at the counter, the cashier eyed the two of them and gave a look that screamed, _I_ _know you both are super_ _hungover_.

  
After they left the store with their bags, they searched for a nearby affordable hotel and walked until they got there. They entered the building, checked into a room, and received the room keys.

  
“What floor is it?” Adam asked when they entered the elevator. He rested the bags on the floor, shook his hands, then picked the bags up again.

  
“Second.”

  
Adam selected the second floor. Once they got there, they walked down the hall to their room, which was three doors to the left.

  
The room was that of an average hotel room: one large bed, a TV, nightstands, a dresser, a mini fridge, a microwave, and a desk with a chair. Framed art lined the wall where the headboards were, and the window looked over at the buildings in front of it. It wasn’t an ocean view, but they didn’t care, since they were only there to recover. There was a small closet and a door that lead to an average-sized bathroom. It was definitely suitable for one night.

  
Shiro was about to start putting the bagged items away. “Okay, let’s-”

  
He heard Adam vomiting in the bathroom, and he dropped the bags in order to help. He knelt down beside him with a hand on his back. The entire room smelled terrible, but Shiro wanted to be there for him.

  
Once Adam was finished, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

  
“Feel better?”

  
“Barely.” He clutched his stomach and closed his eyes, his brows furrowing together. “Go. Go on without me. I shall lay here and die.”

  
“Stop being so dramatic.” Shiro pushed a strand of hair away from his boyfriend’s eyes. He noticed that they were like mini pecan galaxies. Shiro could even say that they were more beautiful than outer space itself, and he’s seen the galaxy close up with his own eyes.

  
“Sorry, can’t help it. You fell in love with a drama king, after all.”

  
“Besides…” He painfully thought back to what he said when he was confronted with Adam’s request to kill him. “I told you that I would never leave you. I stay true to my word, even if it’s over throwing up while hungover.”

  
“These are the times I need you most.” Adam chuckled. “I could really use that mouthwash we got.”

  
“Sure thing.” Shiro exited the bathroom, grabbed the mouthwash out of the bag, and handed it to Adam.

  
“Thank you.” Adam began to take off the packaging. “I want to kiss your beautiful face later, and I don’t want to do that with a shitty breath.”

  
After Adam freshened up, the exhausted couple stored the items they had bought away in the drawers, put on the channel that was currently selected, and lied down. The two unscrewed the lids to their water bottles and drank.

  
“This is the best water I’ve ever had in my life,” said Shiro.

  
“Same,” Adam replied. “And I love both you and your voice, but can you please stop talking for a while? I just need to lay down for a bit.” He turned off the TV and shut his eyes.

  
It wasn’t long before Shiro began to nap.

  
\-----

  
It was several minutes after ten at night, and neither of them could fully sleep. They had felt better after their nap, and they have mostly recovered. Shiro had put on a channel about buying and renovating houses. He always liked them as a kid, and he still liked them as an adult.

  
“What can I do to make it up to the team?” Adam wondered. “They’re way more likely to forgive you than me. You’ve been part of the team for several years. I haven’t even announced my choice to anyone except you.”

  
“Actually, it’s only been-” he wanted to finish, but he didn’t want to explain the time skip just yet. “I’ll handle it. Let’s think about this tomorrow and just relax for the night.”

  
They decided to focus their attention to the show that was currently on, which was a show where people would look for the perfect house. In this episode, a man and a woman were searching for a house in Colorado. The wife would not stop complaining about the need for a double sink.

  
“ _Double sink_ my ass,” Adam mocked. “Why get a double sink when you can get one sink and a long counter, or better yet, an extra bathroom.”

  
“They probably don’t want to separate each other from the love.” Shiro curled up next to Adam, feeling the warmth radiating from his body.

  
“But that’s what a long counter is for. Why would you need two sinks? Hetero couples. Can never understand them.”

  
“I mean, neither of us spend a lot of time in front of a sink or a bathroom counter, so who knows? Maybe they both style their hair in the morning.”

  
“You can do that with a long counter!” Adam seemed insanely frustrated.

  
“Ha, the Adam to my Steve.”

  
Shiro kissed him, stroking his hair. Adam smirked in response, kissing him back multiple times. They spent several minutes kissing, snuggling, and alternating positions.

  
Shiro stopped to breathe. “I love you so much. God, I love you.”

  
“Likewise,” Adam said while trying to catch his breath. He kissed Shiro one more time and leaned on his chest, just like he did the night before.

  
\-----

  
That morning, they woke up at 4:30 AM. After eating breakfast, they checked out and left the hotel with their bags.

  
Once they made it back to the sidewalk near the sand, Adam stopped in his tracks.

  
“Want to run on the beach and see who can make it there first? We’ll see who’s recovered the most.”

  
“You turn everything into a competition, but it does sound fun.”

  
“3… 2… 1… go!”

  
They took off running, nearly tripping over the stone steps leading past the pavilions. Once they were near the sand, they began sprinting to the station. Adam was already far ahead of Shiro, looking back behind him. Shiro chose to keep a reasonable pace.

  
The train station came into view, and Adam was starting to become tired. Shiro used this moment to run up to him. His instinct was to tackle him, but he didn’t want to risk startling him, so he chose not to. Instead, he tightly embraced him after Adam turned around. Adam laughed, and after a minute, Shiro pulled away.

  
“I may have beat you in consuming the most drinks, but you beat me in this.”

  
“We haven’t even made it to the station yet.”

  
“I’m calling it off. You win.”

  
They became lost in each other’s eyes for a second until Shiro realized that time was passing.

  
“We should probably head back.” He held Adam’s hand, dragging him further and further away from the water.

  
\-----

  
Once they got on the train, Shiro checked the group chat.

  
**Team Voltron**

  
**Monday 5:15 PM**

  
**Romelle:** Where are you guys?

  
**Adam:** We’re spending the night at a hotel in order to recover. We won’t be very helpful hungover

  
**Allura:** WHAT?!

  
**Adam:** I’m so sorry about this. I promise I’ll make it up to you

  
“Well, Allura is gonna be pissed.” He shut his phone off. “Fuck.”

  
“What will we say to her? Oh man, this was my one chance to prove to her that I was responsible, and I completely screwed it up.” He turned to Shiro. “Wait, does she even know I’m coming with you guys? What if she kicks me out of the Voltron team?”

  
“I won’t let that happen. The majority of the other paladins need to agree to it first. We can’t just kick you off like that.”

  
“Either way, I made a terrible first impression. I had fun, but I should have been more responsible.”

  
“You tried to talk me out of drinking, but I was the one who persuaded you. I should be the one apologizing.”

  
Allura was waiting for them at the Garrison’s entrance with her arms crossed. She had seldom been this furious.

  
“The two of you went to the _beach_? That’s an hour away! I wouldn’t be as mad if you got here at a reasonable hour yesterday, but you’ve been gone for two nights. I expect more from the both of you. Especially you, Shiro.”

  
“Princess, we’re beyond sorry.” Shiro was deeply ashamed of himself.

  
“Taka- I mean Shiro had a nightmare, so I took him out for the night to help clear his mind. We never intended to be so careless.” Adam hid his hands behind his back. “This was a completely irresponsible act on my behalf, and I deeply regret it.”

  
“And you should. Are you going with us on the mission or not?”

  
After a long, uncomfortable beat of silence, Adam nodded. Shiro noticed how conflicted he appeared.

  
“Then don’t let this happen again.” Allura sighed, beginning to turn around. “We’re in the process of interrogating the Alteans, but they’re not answering to any of us. We don’t believe in torture, so I’m resisting the idea as much as I can. Maybe they will answer to you.”

  
“Let’s find out.” Adam shot Shiro a quick glance, and the three traveled back to the building.

  
They went down in elevator to underground, where they arrived in some sort of small prison. Shiro doubted if the use of area was legal or not until he noticed several certifications lined up on the wall.

  
A security guard took Shiro and Adam to an interrogation room, and the silver-haired woman they had encountered earlier looked up at the couple in fear.

  
“It’s you…” the woman began in a standard Altean accent, the tone of her voice being that of pure astonishment. “The power duo.”


	9. Warm Foothills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time, Adam has a nightmare. Shiro makes a risky decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So far I’m on track to finishing this before season 8 premieres. I’ll probably have to put myself through hell at times, but my goal is in reach.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter includes mentions of a nightmare, violence, a procedure, and a referenced suicide.

Shiro and Adam spent the rest of the day interrogating the prisoners. To much surprise, they received answers to almost all of their questions. This would speed up the date of the mission departure.

 

The silver-haired girl appeared to be the commander of the group, and she wore a multitude of armor to represent that. There rest of the Alteans were her small army, and the redheaded boy was assumed to be the best fighter among them. One of the soldiers confessed that their leader was Honerva, and another soldier gave a general location of their colony. This was key information to the paladins, as they could use it to improve their plan.

 

For the rest of the day, Shiro was disappointed in himself. He was a grown adult, one of the oldest members of Team Voltron, and yet he managed to act irresponsibly and disappoint the entire team. He knew that this guilt would crush him for a very long time.

 

——-

 

When Shiro woke up that morning, Adam wasn’t there. He honestly wondered if they would ever have just  _ one _ normal night where nothing strange happened.

 

He entered the living room, and Adam was sitting on the couch. His gaze seemed fixated on the wall, but when Shiro stood in front of him, he didn’t react. His stare was blank.

 

Shiro decided to grab a blanket from the closet to give to Adam while he waited for him to snap out of it. He carefully wrapped the blanket around Adam and proceeded to pour a glass of water for him.

 

“I need to talk to you for a second.”

 

Shiro finished pouring the water and handed it to him. He then sat next to Adam on the couch, angling his body towards him. “What do you need to tell me?”

 

“Last night I dreamt, and it wasn’t about anything good.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “It was about the finale of the Trials and what happened afterwards.”

 

“Take your time with this. I’m not rushing you.”

 

Adam squeezed Shiro’s hand, looking into his eyes. “For our last challenge, we were forced to wear some sort of helmet that was attached to a machine. They made us do this for thirty minutes, then we waited for around an hour. After that, they sent us out on the arena. Before the first fighter went up, the announcer broadcasted to us and the crowd that we would fight a physical 3D hologram of the person we admired most. This meant that we were fighting a hologram that you could feel. If you touched it, your hand wouldn’t go through.”

 

Shiro nodded. He didn’t like where this was going.

 

Adam breathed again. “I saw so many people go up, and who they had to fight. Some fought their lovers; others fought friends; others fought family members. I can still remember everyone’s horrified and shell shocked faces. Many fell prey to their feelings and let the other person kill them. One person even took their own life. It was horrifying to watch, and I wanted to run up and prevent it from happening, but I knew that my trainer and I would be executed if I did that. I decided not to.” He hugged the blanket closer to his chest. “Then I was called up, and I had to fight you.”

 

Though Shiro was honored that Adam considered him the person he admired most, he still felt terrible about it.

 

Adam looked as if he was about to vomit all over again, as he did the day before. “The entire audience gasped like they knew who you were. Everyone was whispering stuff to each other.  _ You _ tried to talk me out of killing you, but I knew that it wasn’t really you. So I attacked. The second I drove my sword into your torso, I immediately felt my entire soul burn. Ever since then, I’ve been horrified of the incident, and the thought that I could have easily killed you that night still scares me to this day.”

 

“That wasn’t you. You went rogue, and that wasn’t your doing. The Garrison took out the chip, so that shouldn’t happen again.” Shiro tried to make Adam feel better, but based on his unchanging facial expression, he knew that he had failed.

 

“After that, they selected ten of us survivors. We were taken into separate rooms and strapped to a table.” He looked down at his hand. “You pretty much know what happened next.”

 

Shiro knew this dreadful pain, and he wanted more than anything to take it away from Adam. He never deserved this kind of treatment. Everyone he loved had suffered, and almost all of those people had never done anything to deserve it. Due to this observation, he didn’t believe in karma.

 

“I know what you mean, and I’m so sorry you had to experience that.”

 

Adam took a sip of the water he had in front of him. “Before my procedure, the Galra that was operating on me mentioned how this guy named the Champion had undergone the procedure before me and was a disgrace to the Galra, and he later became one of their greatest enemies. I was so confused as to who this person was, but after my procedure, I knew it was you. Everything you said in the video matched the description, and from what I could see, your arm was nearly identical to mine. Now it’s different, and I have no idea why.”

 

Shiro forgot that Adam didn’t know why he had this new arm, nor did he want to tell him. He wanted to tell him, but thought that this would interrupt the story Adam was telling him, so he kept quiet.

 

“They didn’t even put me under for most of the procedure. In fact, they purposely kept me awake so I would know what true pain felt like, and so I would see and experience enough bad things that nothing knew would bother me. That was one of the reasons they held the Trials, aside from natural selection and pure entertainment for the Galra. They wanted to harden us by purposefully traumatizing us.”

 

Blood coursed through Shiro’s body, and he had never resented the Galra this much. The majority of them were truly hateful creatures, and though he sometimes wanted revenge on them, he didn’t let that cloud his judgement. He fought his churning stomach, trying to listen to the rest of the story Adam had to tell.

 

“After most of my excruciating procedure, I was put under. Before this, I was told that extra precautions were being made to ensure I wouldn’t rebel. After this, I was sent to the arena two times a week. While fighting, I would occasionally blackout. Once I regained consciousness, I would often be standing in front of a dead body. I was confused for the longest time until I was informed of the chip. ” Adam clenched his fists. “I despise the Galra. I hate each and every single one of them, and I want them all to die.”

 

“Woah, woah, woah. Stop.” Shiro gently held Adam down with his hands. “Not all Galra are bad. One of them, Ulaz, helped me escape and later sacrificed his life to save Team Voltron.”

 

“But they captured you in the first place.”

 

“Did I ever tell you that Keith finally found his mother? Her name is Krolia, and she left to join the Blade of Marmora and protect Earth.”

 

“Wait, Keith is half Galra?” His eyes widened, then he looked down, pulling the blanket closer to him. “That explains his hostile tendencies. And I’ve heard about the Blade of Marmora before, but didn’t know much about them.”

 

“I can probably set up an arrangement for you to meet Krolia. She agreed to join us in our fight to defeat Honerva, so we’ll probably see her again. I’ve told her all about you, and how you helped raise Keith. She is beyond grateful.”

 

“Wow, really?” Adam seemed flattered. “Huh. I guess not all Galra are bad.”

 

\-----

 

Shiro and Adam were now attempting to turn the prisoners over to their side, but they had little success. They only managed to convert one Altean soldier. The rest were reluctant.

 

All of Team Voltron were gathered inside of the Atlas, and Adam was about to make an announcement.

 

“May I have your attention, please?”

 

Everyone silenced, turning their attention towards the anticipated speaker.

 

“As most, if not all of you, know, I have made a careless and irresponsible choice last night. However, I hope we can all move past that. I have made the decision to join you guys in your plan to defeat Honerva, and I will start taking a stronger notice of my actions from now on. I’m sorry for those I’ve disappointed, and I hope I can make things right.

 

The group smiled in response.

 

“Welcome to the team,” said Pidge. “You’re officially an honorary member of Team Voltron, if you weren’t already.”

 

Hunk went up to Adam, patting him on the back. “It’s good to have you on our side, man.”

 

“I’m glad you’re able to join us.” Lance radiated a genuine, lighthearted grin. “It’ll be fun having you with us.”

 

Keith simply nodded.

 

“I accept your apology,” said Allura, “but you still have much to do in order to be worthy of joining us. There’s serious risk that comes along with this, and any one of us could die on this mission. It’s grim to think about, but I speak the truth.”

 

“I’m aware of the risk,” said Adam, “and I’ve physically and mentally recovered enough to go on this trip.”

 

“I’m so proud of you for choosing to go with us,” Shiro praised. “This shows how brave you are.”

 

“Thank you all for the support. It really means a lot to me.” Adam smiled, turning his head towards everyone.

 

“You’re welcome,” said Coran, “Just try to avoid drinking so late at night and away from the Garrison.”

 

“Yeah, I got that. I also have something else I wanted to mention.” He clasped his hands together. “I have been approved to continue teaching incoming cadets. I’ll only be able to do this for a few months before the mission, but hopefully I can continue when we return. Teaching is my passion, and we need to educate these cadets as much as possible. A new age of space exploration and combat is upon us, so successfully training incoming cadets will be extremely effective.”

 

The entire team clapped their hands and cheered.

 

“Adam, that’s awesome!” Shiro was surprised at the news, and he nearly tackled Adam in a hug, kissing him on the cheek. Adam couldn’t help but display a toothy grin.

 

Pidge groaned. “Get a room, you two!”

 

“Nah, you both are cute!” Hunk hid his mouth with his hand, watching the two entwined in a tight embrace.

 

“It will be tough balancing teaching, therapy, and contributing to the mission, but I will manage.”

 

“I’ll set up a meeting soon for all of us,” said Allura. “We can try out some classic bonding exercises, like the mind melding activity.”

 

“What is that?” asked Adam. Romelle appeared equally confused.

 

“Why, it’s an activity used to look into each other’s minds and strengthen our mutual bonds.” Coran chuckled.

 

“I’m not going to lie, but that sounds sort of creepy,” said Romelle. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

 

“The point of this activity is to eliminate any secrets between us.”

 

Adam looked at Shiro, who was extremely apprehensive. He worried that he would think of something he was hiding from Adam, and that Adam would lose trust in him.

 

Adam crossed his arms. “It seems like this might be a necessary thing.”

 

Shiro’s heart ran around in circles. Adam knew that Shiro was keeping stuff from him, and Shiro wasn’t at all prepared to unravel his deepest, darkest secrets to him just yet.

 

\-----

 

While Adam was at therapy, Shiro had a thought that kept repeating in his head over and over again. He really wanted to marry Adam, and it felt like they were finally bonding. Sure, they had a few blocks in between them, but those would eventually break down with time.

 

Shiro realized that proposing would be a major commitment, but he was willing to face the risk. The thought would not leave his head.

 

After several hours of organizing data, he decided to leave the Garrison after informing the team of his departure. On the short train ride to the jewelry store, he couldn't make up his mind between a ring or a watch. A watch would be more functional, but a ring would have a more traditional feel.

 

Were they even a traditional couple? Most would agree that they weren't traditional in the slightest.

 

Once he stepped inside the store, he immediately recognized the person working at the cash register. It was his old roommate, Daniel, from England.

 

“Daniel?”

 

Daniel looked up from the register, and his eyes grew wide upon sight of the man in front of him. “S-Shiro? Is that really you?”

 

“Yes, it's me. I haven't seen you in years. How have you been? Why are you working here?”

 

“You’ve changed so much. I heard about you on the news, but it's another thing seeing you in person.” He rested his arms on the counter. “As for me, I’ve been better. I’m working here part-time aside from the Garrison since I have to take care of a family member.”

 

“That's unfortunate. Hopefully things work out for you and your family soon.” He felt bad for Daniel, and he could tell that he was stressed.

 

“I hope so too,” he said. “So anyway, what brings you here?”

 

“Oh, I was actually planning on proposing.” He chuckled and wondered if Daniel would actually remember their late night conversations about Adam, or even the fact that Shiro was gay.

 

“Ah, I see. Who’s the lucky man? Let me guess: Adam.”

 

He remembered both of those things.

 

“You are correct. I can't decide if I should get a ring or a watch.”

 

Daniel carefully observed the case containing rings, then the case containing watches. “Hmm… would you describe your relationship as personal or alternative?”

 

“Definitely alternative.”

 

“Then I think a watch would be your best bet. We have multiple styles to choose from along with straps. Would you like metal or fabric?”

 

“I think faux leather would be the best option.”

 

Daniel took him over to the case, where there were several watches and straps on display. “See anything you like?”

 

Shiro took a moment to scan the display, keeping Adam’s personal style in mind. There were so many shapes and styles and brands and colors of the watches, not to mention the endless choices of watch straps. He was overwhelmed, but something clicked in that moment. He selected the parts and Daniel put everything together.

 

“What do you think, Shiro?”

 

He was absolutely amazed. The watch was large and circular with a vintage design, and the faux leather straps were a light beige.

 

“It’s perfect. Thank you.”

 

“No problem. It was nice catching up with you.” He enclosed the watch in a velvet box.

 

After Shiro purchased the watch, he gave his number to Daniel so that they could keep in touch, bought a few groceries, and caught the next train back to the Garrison.

 

\-----

 

“Takashi, where were you?”

 

Adam was cooking dinner in the kitchen when Shiro walked in. The entire room smelled delicious, and Shiro realized how hungry he was.

 

“I was just getting groceries.” He tried his best to keep a straight face.

 

“Set them down on the counter. I’ll put them away later.”

 

On the train ride back, he planned ahead of time by putting the watch in his jacket pocket and the receipt in a small box he kept in Keith’s dorm, so Adam’s instructions didn’t screw up the plan.

 

“Thanks for getting groceries, by the way. I thought I would never have the time to get them.”

 

“No problem. Anytime.”

 

Once Adam reached to retrieve something out of the refrigerator, he lifted up the couch seat cushion and hit the watch underneath it. Afterwards, he moved the throw pillow back over the spot. He was planning on proposing within the next couple of days, and he hoped that Adam wouldn’t find the box before then.

 

Adam shut the fridge door and turned around. “Did you get some tomatoes while you were at the store.”

 

“I did. Look in the bag.”

 

Shiro leaned back on the couch, and he heard the sound of a plastic bag being sifted through.

 

“Thank you so much for getting them. I know I can count on you for pretty much anything. Anything except cooking.”

 

“Hey, I know how to cook.”

 

“Name one thing you can cook besides fire.”

 

“Uh…” He actually couldn’t think of anything besides microwavable meals. “You’re right. I can’t cook anything. I’m lucky I have you, because you make the most delicious food in existence.”

 

“My family owns a successful restaurant. We know how to cook.”

 

As Adam finished making dinner, Shiro imagined how his proposal would turn out. He needed to plan this, and he knew that he needed to be more open with Adam if this proposal was to be a success.


	10. The Gospel Of John Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro loses the ability to feel emotions. Team Voltron attempts to strengthen their mental bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The turns are about to be tabled.
> 
> I based this chapter off my own experiences with depersonalization, but if I still get something wrong, please let me know. As a matter of fact, please let me know if I get anything wrong both in previous and future chapters as well. I’m open to improving and expanding my knowledge.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter features dissociation as well as a mention of the nightmare featured in Hunger Of The Pine. Please take the trigger warnings of that chapter into consideration before continuing if you skipped that scene previously.

“Good morning, Takashi.” Adam stood near the bedroom door, holding a pan.

 

Something felt strange. Shiro couldn’t quite figure it out yet.

 

“Awe, I was hoping you’d smile. I made you breakfast. It’s ready when you are.”

 

Shiro was normally fine waking up, but his head felt heavier than normal. He set the thought aside and stood, then entered the kitchen.

 

“You still seem pretty tired. Want me to make you coffee?”

 

“Sure, maybe that will hel-”

 

Adam took this moment to surprise Shiro with a kiss. That’s when Shiro realized what was wrong.

 

The electricity wasn’t there.

 

“I think I know what’s up.”

 

Adam proceeded to set the pan he was holding on the stove. “I’m confused.”

 

“That kiss. I felt nothing. I feel weird right now, and I’ve had this feeling before.”

 

Based on the expression on Adam’s face, he seemed to know exactly what was happening and what it was like.

 

“Hopefully, it shouldn’t be permanent.” He began to divide the contents of the pan onto two plates. “If you’re lucky, you won’t end up like me. I’m getting over it with time, but I’ve had to deal with that for years.”

 

“I’ve been through this a few times. It just feels weird.”

 

“I have to go to my first class and then therapy afterwards, so I’ll be pretty busy until then. I’ll meet you tonight inside of the Atlas.”

 

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

Adam grabbed his backpack off the counter. “Wish me luck with my first day teaching after several years.”

 

“Try not to quote that one Vine if someone throws a paper at you.”

 

Adam laughed, attempting to stifle his laughter but failing to. “I’ll try not to.”

 

He waved goodbye and shut the door behind him, and Shiro was left alone.

 

A drought plagued Shiro’s mindscape city. The mayor hoped that this would pass, but the citizens were doubtful. All they could do was wait.

 

\-----

 

Lance paced around the room. “Okay, Shiro. This is serious.”

 

Shiro decided to hang out with Lance and Hunk in their dorm while Adam was away in order to speed up the recovery process. He wanted to propose to Adam as soon as possible, and he didn't want to do that while he was emotionally numb. He sat on the bottom bunk.

 

“We gotta fix this,” said Hunk. He was standing in the corner of the room. “Think. Is there any memory you can think of?”

 

Shiro closed his eyes. “I can remember things, but the emotions associated with those memories are gone.”

 

“Anything else?” Lance looked confused. “Besides not feeling any emotions.”

 

“Well, yeah. My head feels heavy, and it feels like I’m running on autopilot.”

 

Hunk sat down next to Shiro. “Like the feeling that someone is controlling you?”

 

“No, like I’m controlling myself.”

 

Both of the paladins shared the same perplexed expression.

 

“It just feels like I’m controlling myself from the outside, and my body is only a puppet. It’s a strange concept to think about, but that’s how I feel.”

 

“Maybe we need to get Pidge’s father in on this. For now, try to think of a memory, then the emotion normally associated with it.

 

Shiro leaned back, closed his eyes, and began to reminisce.

 

\-----

 

“My mom is dying to see you again outside of the Garrison. Same with my dad. Lita, God, Lita will love you.”

 

Adam was holding Shiro’s hand, leading him to his parent’s house.

 

Shiro didn't feel the rush of excitement he previously felt at this moment when he was eighteen. He couldn't feel any of it.

 

The door opened, and Adam’s parents were just as excited as Shiro was. He still couldn’t feel any emotion. His mind was still a dark, endless void.

 

A very young Lita dashed up the stairs with open arms, sprinting into the entryway, talking nonstop. Shiro couldn’t feel the nervousness, the anticipation, or any of the emotions previously associated with that memory.

 

The house, which was the nicest house Shiro had ever stepped foot in, possessed none of the nostalgic feelings of spring or summer, or any of the other holidays they spent over there. The room they shared was empty of association. The living room where they would watch soccer games was devoid of energy. The kitchen, the backyard, the dining room, and even the restaurant was still completely gray in his mind. Nothing remained.

 

He left the house, returning back to his current place and time in the world.

 

\-----

 

“Did it work?” Lance stared at Shiro with a hopeful look in his sapphire eyes.

 

Shiro’s head was still foggy, and his vision kept fading to black. He felt tired despite sleeping for a decent amount and not having any nightmares. This made it slightly hard to become completely alert.

 

“No…” he said after regaining enough energy. “I still felt nothing.”

 

Hunk pulled out his phone. “I’ll ask Pidge if her father is available. We don’t know much about this, but he might.”

 

“Thank you both, but there’s no need to worry. This should pass after a few days, probably. I just need it to pass as soon as possible.”

 

He didn’t know what he was going to do if Adam found the watch. All he could do was hope that he wouldn’t find it before he could propose.

 

\-----

 

When Shiro arrived inside of the Atlas that evening after talking with Sam, the Alteans that were previously captured and imprisoned were standing between Allura and Keith.

 

“What are they doing here?” Shiro asked. He really had no idea.

 

Allura exchanged glances with the Alteans. “I’ll let them speak for themselves.”

 

The leader of the group stepped forward. “We have pledged to fight for the Voltron alliance. Empress Honerva’s leadership is that of dictatorship, and we have been given an opportunity to embrace freedom, therefore we shall accept your request.”

 

“Excellent.” Allura turned to Shiro. “Hunk had told me that you were emotionally unwell. Are you alright?”

 

“Oh, yes, I’m fine.” He was hoping that Lance and Hunk wouldn’t mention this to the other paladins, but he apparently has, and he was preparing himself for the bombard of questions. “I’ve been through this a few times before, actually. It’ll probably pass soon.”

 

“Oh, that’s great.” Allura clasped her hands together. “Is Adam coming? Perhaps you could give him and the Alteans a tour around the Atlas. As of right now, they want to stay on Earth, but they’re most likely going to be attending our meetings, therefore they need a basic look around. Since Adam is coming with us, he’ll need a more extensive tour.”

 

“He should be here any minute.”

 

Just then, a tall and slender figure entered the room. This person was Adam.

 

“Sorry I ran a little late,” he said while repositioning his bag.

 

“Adam, you’re just in time. I was about to give the Alteans a look around the Atlas.”

 

As he was about to formally introduce Adam to the Alteans, he noticed that all of them appeared fearful, one even cowering behind another.

 

“It’s okay. He won’t hurt you. His name is Adam, and he’s my boyfriend. He’ll be coming along on the mission with us.”

 

“Why are they here?” Adam observed the group with a dubious expression.

 

“They've pledged to join the Voltron alliance,” Allura explained.

 

“So we’re supposed to trust them? Just like that?”

 

“Adam, I know you may be apprehensive about this, but I can ensure you that they're telling the truth.” Allura looked at the leader of the group.

 

“We speak the truth when we say that we will devote ourselves to the Voltron alliance,” The leader of the group began. She introduced everyone in her group, looking back at them. “We were sent to capture you, dead or alive, but now we have a better purpose.”

 

“I don’t know about this.” Adam peered down at his hand, ready to attack if needed.

 

“There’s no need for that.” Shiro rested his hand on Adam’s shoulder. “I’ll show you and the Alteans around.”

 

They spent around twenty minutes touring the interior of the Atlas, passing down several halls and entering many rooms. Finally, once he had taken the Alteans back to the control room, Shiro brought Adam to their shared sleeping quarters.

 

The room was of decent size, slightly larger than Shiro’s old one. In the room was a queen sized bed, a desk, a door to a small bathroom, and a tiny closet. It wasn’t much, but that was all they really needed.

 

“I could get used to this.” Adam sighed, laying down on the bed.

 

“You're gonna have to. We’ll probably be gone for several months.

 

“Come on.” Adam slapped the mattress he was laying on. “Sit down. I want to tell you about my first day teaching again.”

 

Shiro obliged to Adam's request, sitting down next to him. “Tell me how it went.” He genuinely wanted to know.

 

“It went way better than I expected. Not a single student misbehaved. I'm assuming this could have been due to the war. During my last class, so many people misbehaved. Now, not a single person did.”

 

“War does that,” was all Shiro could respond with.

 

“Not only that, but they were pretty respectful as well. Before my first class, I thought people would treat me differently because of my appearance or my recent background. Thankfully, no one did.”

 

“If anyone ever disrespects you, they're going to have to catch this hand.” He held up his floating prosthetic hand. “Literally.”

 

Adam was laughing so hard that he looked like he was about to choke. Shiro tried to continue his brief moment of snarky chortling, but it was dry and lasted for only a few seconds before fading away, so he didn't bother.

 

“Thank you for having my back.”

 

Since Shiro wasn't able to become emotionally invested in the conversation, all he replied was, “Anytime.”

 

\-----

 

For the rest of the week, Shiro worked with Sam, Adam, the paladins, and even Matt in an attempt to recover sooner. Adam’s methods seemed to be the most effective for him, and when Shiro asked him about them, he mentioned that half of his methods were self-taught and he learned the other half of them from therapy sessions.

 

Shiro was finally beginning to recover. That’s when Allura and Coran decided to host a mind melding session that Saturday afternoon, and Shiro knew that it would either cause his relationship with Adam to improve or go down in flames.

 

All of Team Voltron was gathered around in a circle on the new training deck. Everyone was given helmets for the activity. Coran projected a tree trunk with branches in the center of the circle.

 

“For this activity, you will clear your minds, eliminating any secrets or walls.” Coran spoke in a calming, soothing voice. “Focus on forming a leaf, then connecting it to a branch, because we’re all family here.”

 

Of course, with Shiro’s luck, he just had to be thinking of the nightmare he had that Sunday night. He tried to focus on nothing but the leaf, but it didn't work. He couldn't seem to erase the image from his mind.

 

_Go away, go away._

 

The distorted nightmare played onto the projection formed by his helmet. Words formed along with the moving images as subtitles.

 

_No, no._

 

Adam argued with him, saying that everything was his fault.

 

“Shiro?” Coran’s voice sounded in the far, vast distance, though Shiro was still submerged in this hellscape.

 

Shiro slapped Adam, hard, across the face.

 

“Is everything okay?” Lance. He wasn't there. Only his voice was.

 

“Shiro, it’s gonna be okay.” Keith. Like Lance, he was only a ghost haunting the scene.

 

Adam began to slice through his throat.

 

“T-Takashi…?”

 

Shiro snapped back into reality, gasping for a single breath, anxious beyond compare. Everyone was staring at him: the paladins, Coran, Romelle, Matt, the Alteans… especially Adam, who shared a look of pure horror and heartbreak. Shiro immediately felt a twinge of guilt.

 

The image of black liquid spilling from the wound plagued Shiro’s mind, and he took off the helmet as an instinct. After looking around for an exit, he dropped the helmet and took off into the first room he came across. It happened to be a storage closet filled to the brim with exercise and training equipment, and it had enough room for Shiro to sink to the ground right next to the door. He hugged his knees and buried his head, wanting for all of this to be over. He wanted to cry, but no tears came out. His eyes were completely dry. The muffled conversation on the other side of the wall could be heard.

 

“I need to speak with him. Alone.” The voice belonged to Adam.

 

Shiro braced himself, looking down at the floor. The door opened, and Adam walked in, shutting the door behind him.


	11. Pusher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro and Adam get into a fight, and not much can save their crumbling relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These next few chapters are probably going to be super angsty, but bear with me.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter features a heated argument in a romantic relationship as well as mentions of scars and smoking.

“What the hell was that? Was that the nightmare you had the other night?”

  
“I-”

  
“Tell me the truth.”

  
He knew he couldn't mask the truth any longer. “Yes.”

  
Shiro wanted to protect Adam, but he realized that he was only hurting him by lying, so he gave up.

  
“‘Kashi, you never told me about this. You never mentioned what happened in your nightmare, and I didn't want to pry, but I know you’re keeping stuff from me.”

  
He figured it out.

  
“How so?”

  
“Like how you start talking about something and then quickly change the subject, or how you’re suddenly so much younger than me, or how you mentioned that you were cloned but gave no explanation, or why your hair is white, or how you look away every time I or someone else mentions our supposed deaths? Yeah, don't think I didn't notice those things.”

  
Shiro rubbed his arm, stepping away a little. “I didn't want you to worry about me.”

  
“Are you kidding? Do you know how worried I’ve been for you? I’ve been worried sick. I get that avoidance is a common symptom of trauma, but you don't act this way around the other paladins. You only do this around me.”

  
“Look, I didn't know what you would think. I didn't want to spread these horror stories to you.”

  
“It looks like you already have, considering what happened earlier.” Adam slumped against the wall next to Shiro. “I’ve been through it all. I know what it’s like. I mean, _look_ at me! Christ, I know what it’s like.”

  
“No, you don't.” Shiro gritted his teeth. “We’ve both been through trauma, but it isn’t the same.”

  
“You’re right. Maybe I wasn't cloned like you were, but I’ve had my own struggles, like the Trials.” He crossed his arms. “I may even be shocked by what you’ve been through, but I know you can fend for yourself. It just hurts knowing you’re not comfortable enough around me to share that information.”

  
“That's not true and you know it.”

  
Adam's fists formed into boulders. “I’ve shared with you the deepest, darkest corners of my mind. I even told you about Max, and what have you shared with me in return? The fact that you were cloned? Besides the stories that your skin speaks for itself, you have shared little to nothing with me.”

  
“I’m sorry about that. I fucked up. I know I did.”

  
“Yeah, you did.” Adam sighed, leaning his head back against the wall so that he was staring at the ceiling. “Love is supposed to be an equal exchange, but nothing about this is equal.”

  
“What are you saying?”

  
“I’m saying that if we are to be together, then we must live without any barriers between us. If you’re not okay with that, then I can’t do this. _Us_. Lower your walls for me, Takashi. Please.”

  
“I’m trying. You know it’s hard. You felt that way last Friday, when you were hesitant to tell me about that incident.”

  
“Yes, but I told you. You’ve been keeping stuff from me since the day you rescued me. I’m sorry, but I can’t be in a relationship like this.”

  
Adam began to walk away, but Shiro stood, grabbing his hand. Shiro’s eyes began to water, and he knew that arguing any further would only make things worse, but he did it anyway.

  
“I can’t take this anymore. I miss the old Adam. I miss your hand, and your old personality, and your older clothing style. I miss what our relationship used to be. We used to not have to thrive off of secrets. We used to be able to just relax and not give a fuck about life. Now, we’ve been to Hell and back, and the scars on both our skin and our minds show for it.”

  
Adam just stood there for a few moments, his chest puffing up and down. “Well, he’s gone, and you’ll never be able to get him back,” he growled. He marked his spoken words with saliva. “You don’t think I miss you as well? I do. I miss your black hair, and your youthful smile, and your hand that was actually attached to your body. I miss peaceful nights together without nightmares or anything else. I miss being open with each other.”

  
“Why did you stay, then? Am I not what you want?”

  
“Why did _you_ stay?” He shook his head, and Shiro wasn't quite sure why he did that. “Though both of us have changed quite a bit, you’re still the same person I fell in love with. I wouldn't trade you for anyone else.”

  
“I think we share the same thoughts on that.”

  
“You have to accept that things are different. They’ll never go back to the way they were, and we have to live with the changes. This took me years to accept, but I’m glad I did.” He slipped his hand from Shiro’s grasp. “For now, I just think we need a break from each other.”

  
Adam turned his back and stormed out of the room, leaving Shiro drowning in that damned city of his.

  
\-----

  
After dismissing himself from the meeting with a simple “I have to go,” Shiro rushed over to their apartment only to find his bags outside the door. Adam had beat him there, already claiming the territory as his own.

  
Thankfully, he had two options: Keith’s dorm or their room in the Atlas. Since living alone in the Atlas would have been desolate, he decided to crash with Keith.

  
“Thanks again for letting me stay here,” said Shiro as he put his bags near the bottom bunk.

  
“Anytime. I’m here for you.” Keith sat down on the bottom bunk along with Shiro. “I don’t exactly know what happened, but I’m sorry. Want to talk about it?”

  
He didn’t want to talk about it, but he didn’t want to cause another situation like the one he was currently in. “I just feel like such a dick right now. I used to not have so many secrets, but ever since we rescued him, I don’t know what happened.”

  
Keith nodded. “I’m listening.”

  
“I didn’t really want him to know about me dying, or the true reason why my hair is white, and just so many things. I didn’t want him to freak out.”

  
“I doubt he would.”

  
“He is, or _was_ , my boyfriend. It doesn’t matter how much he’s been through. I know him, and he would be the type to freak out.”

  
“That was before. He might have changed since then.”

  
“Yeah, he has. We argued with each other over how much we’ve changed.” He looked down at his right hand. “I know things will never go back to normal, but part of me still wishes it would.”

  
“So what are you gonna do?”

  
“I’ll talk to him. I want to give him some space first, though. Hopefully-” He realized something. The watch was still underneath the couch cushion. “Oh, fuck.”

  
“What’s wrong?”

  
He wondered if he should tell Keith about the planned proposal or not. “I bought him a watch, but I’m hiding it from him until the right moment. It’s underneath one of the couch cushions, and he probably won’t let me inside. Maybe he’ll let you in. Do you think you could get it?”

  
Keith seemed rather shocked. “You were gonna propose to him?”

  
“Yeah, kind of.”

  
“How do you _kind of_ propose to someone?” Keith gave a slight smile. “Okay, I’ll get it for you.”

  
“Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.”

  
“When were you going to do it?” Keith looked at him with curiosity.

  
“I was going to do it the day after I bought the watch, but then the emotional numbness happened, and I had to postpone it.”

  
“And then the fight happened.”

  
“Exactly.”

  
Keith stood and was about to leave the room. “I’ll go talk to him and try to get the watch without him knowing.”

  
“You’ve a hero, Keith, from saving the world to retrieving a watch.”

  
Keith chuckled, leaving the room. Shiro didn’t feel as lonely as he felt earlier, but the feeling was still there. He decided to ask the group chat about future meetings, then decided to rest after Allura announced that they will wait a few days before formally gathering again due to the chaotic mind melding incident. Shiro was relieved that he would have a few days to apologize to Adam before being forced to see him again.

  
\-----

  
That evening, Shiro woke up from his nap after Keith returned. The man in red and white shut the door, sighing.

  
“How did it go?” Shiro asked. “Did you get it?”

  
Keith said nothing, but grinned, holding up a small box.

  
“I couldn’t thank you enough.”

  
“Glad I could help.”

  
Keith gave the small box to him, and Shiro took it, putting it in the small, lockable container he kept in this room. Keith found the box in his shack a while ago and had no use for it, so he gave it to Shiro, which he eventually accepted. As of right now, it was being put to good use.

  
“I talked to Adam for a while, and he seemed really hurt. He says he understands, yet he doesn’t all at the same time.”

  
“Understandable.” He groaned, rubbing his forehead. “God, I was such as ass. I never meant to cause any of this.”

  
“I know you didn’t, and it’s not too late to make things right.” He began to climb up the ladder to his bunk. “Maybe tomorrow, you two can try to make up. Lance and I can help.”

  
“That would be great.” Shiro got underneath the covers. “By the way, how are things going with you and Lance?”

  
“Pretty good, actually. He’s not as bad as he seems at first. I’m glad you set us up.”

  
“My pleasure. I always thought this would happen eventually. I’m not sure why, but I felt it.” He positioned his body slightly to the left. “I’m not sure what I’m going to say to Adam.”

  
“Just go talk to him tomorrow and the words will come.” He yawned. “I’m going to bed. Goodnight, Shiro.”

  
“Goodnight, Keith.”

  
Shiro laid awake for several hours before being able to fall asleep. He thought of his argument with Adam that afternoon, and especially what he said about their love not being an equal exchange. It reminded him of the Galra’s harmful rule of the Balmera.

  
He wanted to be nothing like the Galra.

  
\-----

  
That night had been rough, and Shiro barely slept. He couldn’t stop thinking about this confrontation and what he would say. The thought of talking to Adam again made him anxious.

  
“Ready?” Keith had been texting Lance, and he seemed pretty confident.

  
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

  
“Lance is with Adam right now in the back of the Garrison where that small garden is. I’ll take you there.”

  
The Garrison was massive, so it took several minutes of traveling down halls just to get close to the door that lead to the garden. As they were about to open it, Lance entered with sad eyes.

  
“Lance? Where’s Adam?” Shiro asked upon sight of Lance.

  
“He started smoking a cigarette, and I tried to get him to stop, but he told me to fuck off. He seemed really upset.”

  
“Wait, _smoking_?” Shiro had remembered Adam saying many years ago that he hated anything to do with smoking, so this came with a massive surprise. He also questioned why he would be so rude to Lance when the two were rather close.

  
“Yep. It doesn’t even seem like his first time smoking.” He crossed his arms. “It’s nasty as hell. Why do people do it?”

  
Shiro opened the door, and Adam was sitting on a tall stone slab, holding a cigarette in one hand. He seemed unfazed by Shiro’s arrival, and just stared at him with a stare that radiated the burning desire of death itself.

  
“Hello, Takashi.”

  
Shiro was staring directly into the eyes of a dragon.


	12. Bloodflood Pt. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro and Adam vent to each other in an attempt to save their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I’m aware that this is titled “Bloodflood Pt. II”. Though the song is labeled as a second part to the song “Bloodflood” on another album, for the sake of this fic, it will be the second part of the previous chapter.
> 
> I also wanted to give credits to Gecko1798 on Instagram for the idea of Adam smoking a cigarette in this chapter. The reason as to why he was smoking was already an idea of mine for quite some time, but since seeing that one drawing they made of Adam, it helped me tie my ideas together more smoothly.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter mentions smoking, a drug addiction, and blindness.

Shiro was standing on top of the arid grass, ten yards in between him and Adam.

 

“When did you start smoking? Why? I thought you hated it.”

 

Adam looked away. “Why should I tell you? You keep everything from me.”

 

“I’m willing to be open with you.”

 

“Now that I called you out for being so closed off?”

 

“That’s not true.”

 

“I bet you can’t tell me shit.” Adam finished his cigarette, stood up, and was about to walk away.

 

“Adam, wait. I want to get some things off my chest.”

 

Adam moved forward towards him without saying a word.

 

“Sure, I wanted to go to Kerberos to achieve my dreams, but that wasn’t the only reason. I didn’t want you to watch me die. I couldn’t place that burden on you.”

 

Adam nodded. “You want to know why I was smoking earlier? A couple years ago when I was captured, I had a drug problem. One day I was offered this stuff infused with quintessence, and I smoked it. I then developed an addiction to it. I smoked that stuff for two years until it started having a physical effect on my body. My trainer helped me get off it, since if I was too weak, then he would be executed.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “He only cared about himself.”

 

“I guess I wasn’t the only one keeping secrets.” He was rather heartbroken at this news, and it showed how much imprisonment had changed Adam. He was also now aware that Adam kept some of his own memories and past experiences private, and that he didn't feel comfortable telling Shiro about this. Shiro now knew the pain Adam felt during the mind melding session.

 

“Yeah, and even though I’ve been sober for almost a year, today I had the urge to smoke  _ something _ . Cigarettes are the last thing I would go to, but it’s the only thing I have access to right now.” He paused to breathe.

 

“I-”

 

“When I was in prison, do you know what they called me? You were known as the Champion, which you never actually told me and I just happened to know, and I was Stone Wall. I got that nickname from being cold, emotionless, apathetic, and a dick. Everyone feared me because I feared nothing. Whenever I felt fear, it was a weak emotion and lasted for a short amount of time before I would feel emotionally numb again, and I wouldn’t show it to anyone. Fear made me weak.”

 

“Team Voltron and I sacrificed the old Castle of Lions in order to seal a rift in time. The entire universe aged three years ahead, but those of us in the lions were unaffected. This means you’re three years older than me. Three fucking years!”

 

“So how old are you, then?”

 

“You’re twenty-nine now, right? This means I’m twenty-six.”

 

“Oh, that’s fantastic.” It sounded like Adam was being sarcastic. “The main reason I was so easily captured after the crash was not only because I was so badly injured, but my eyes were damaged from the shrapnel. I was completely blind, and I could barely fend for myself.” Adam’s muscles tensed. “I was originally going to be harvested for my quintessence, but life had other plans. The Galra who captured me, and later became my trainer, went against orders and scheduled an arrangement to have my eyes repaired and my vision corrected. When the commander of the ship heard about it after my procedure, he was furious that he wasted resources on me, but my trainer said that he saw potential in me. I was then accessed for my physical ability and received a high score. The commander ordered that I participate in the Trials, and if I failed to meet his expectations, then he would execute the both of us.”

 

“I died!” Saying those two words brought Shiro a sense of relief, yet they carried copious amounts of adrenaline. His heart was beating fast, and he was anything but still. “I died in space after fighting with Zarkon. I was then trapped in some sort of astral plane in the consciousness of the black lion for several months after that, while the Galra created a clone of me in order to spy on Team Voltron. Eventually, it went rogue, and I almost killed Keith. That’s one of the reasons I hated that fight we had a few weeks ago so much. It reminded me so much of that one incident. Knowing that I caused Keith’s scar, and that I indirectly caused yours, kills me.”

 

“Is that it?” Adam seemed tense.

 

“No! After that fight I had with Keith, my clone’s body was barely alive. After the rift was sealed, Allura transplanted my consciousness from the black lion and into my clone’s body, turning my hair white in the process. Before that, my hair was partially gray because I was so stressed while I was held captive and even after I escaped. I almost died after that incident, too. My clone began to reject my consciousness, and while I was asleep during that time, I dreamt of you. I wanted to see you so, so badly when we got back to Earth. When I heard the news about you, I felt lost. I had been through so many things and didn’t let that affect me, and yet I couldn’t get over you.”

 

The two stood there in a long, uncomfortable silence. No sound could be heard besides their weighed breathing.

 

“I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you!” the two shouted simultaneously. There was another long, excruciating beat of silence. Both of them waited for the other to speak.

 

“You felt that way?” Shiro asked. Adam already knew that Shiro wanted to marry him, but Shiro had no idea that he shared the same feeling.

 

“Yes! I love you, Takashi. I wanted to stay with you, but I knew our relationship wouldn’t survive without walls.”

 

“Well, I’m sure we annihilated those walls just now. I can finally see you, and you can finally see me, without any walls in the way.”

 

“I’m glad for that, but-” He paused. “I just need time to process everything. This is a lot of information all at once.”

 

“I feel the same way.”

 

“I guess I need just one more night alone.”

 

Adam walked away from Shiro and back into the building. Keith and Lance were both staring at Shiro, and he was quite disturbed that neither of them left. At the same time, he was glad they stayed, and it showed how much they cared about Shiro and Adam.

 

“I’m sorry about all of that. I just needed to get some things off my chest.”

 

“Don’t we all? It’s good to vent every now and then.” Lance wrapped his arm around Keith. “This guy doesn’t do it much, but it can be hard for some people.”

 

Shiro sat down in the same place Adam was before he and Keith arrived there. “It was pretty hard for me, but now I’m glad I told him everything. Well, everything I can currently think of.”

 

“Sometime, you have to update him on all the other adventures and shit we’ve been through,” said Keith. “He probably wants to know.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right.”

 

Shiro felt several tons lighter, and he could finally breathe and speak without worrying about keeping facts hidden.

 

\-----

 

Shiro slept rather peacefully for once during the night before despite constant thoughts roaming around his mind. He took time to process everything that Adam told him. It was still hard for Shiro to accept that Adam had a previous drug addiction, and how he was once completely blind and how he was known as Stone Wall to the Galra, but he had now grown accepting of this.

 

That night, he was determined to have a more peaceful conversation with Adam. According to his tracking app, Adam still had his location services enabled, and he was near a stream a couple train stops away. Shiro arrived at his location after a few minutes on the train and found him bent down near a stream, holding a lit sky lantern. He was about to release it, but he kept it stationary. He turned to where Shiro was.

 

“What are you doing out here?” Shiro asked.

 

Adam carefully held the lit lantern in front of him. “Max. Today was his birthday, and I wanted to do something during this time now that I’m out of that hellhole.”

 

“Ah, I see.”

 

“Before that challenge, we formed a pretty close bond. He was scared, and I helped calm him down. He told me about his family on Earth and I told him about mine. He longed to see his family again, and I longed to see you, my parents, and my sister. It looks like only one of us got what we wanted.”

 

Shiro took a few steps forward until he was right next to Adam, sitting down on the hybrid terrain of packed sand, dry grass, and firm soil. He placed a hand on the lantern, then smiled at Adam. The other man mirrored a soft smile similar to Shiro’s. They carefully lifted the lantern towards the dark sky with deliberate and graceful movements, eventually releasing it. The ignited lantern embarked on its journey amid the blackness towards the moon. It was a bright light in a sea of dark, illuminating everything around it. The light grew smaller and smaller as it traveled further and further away from them. It was a truly incredible moment, and Shiro knew that he would cherish this memory for a long time.

 

Adam got comfortable, now completely sitting on the ground. “When were you going to tell me that?”

 

“What exactly?”

 

“Everything.”

 

“Oh, uh…” He had no idea. “To be honest, I never planned on telling you. Every single time a topic would come up, I wanted to talk about it, but I just couldn't get the words out.”

 

“In, case you’re wondering, I didn't freak out like you probably thought I was going to.”

 

“Thank you for that.” He thought of something else he wanted to ask. “Why did  _ you _ keep that stuff from me?”

 

“You never asked, and the situation never called for it. With you, however, it’s the opposite. We've been in numerous situations where it would make sense to reveal these things, and yet you never did. Now I kind of see why, but I still wish you told me sooner. I’m thinking back to all those times I mentioned escaping death, and you were probably hurting inside, and I had no idea.”

 

“It’s fine, really.”

 

The both of them laid back and gazed at the stars. They were miniature lights in the sky, each with their own past and story. They reminded Shiro of all the adventures he’d been on and the people he’d met in his lifetime.

 

“Maybe before we go to bed most nights, I can tell you more about my time in space.” Shiro didn't break his gaze from the stars.

 

“That would be great. I’ve been wanting to know about some of your adventures.”

 

“Not all of them were adventures.”

 

“Better than prison, though.”

 

“True.”

 

Shiro began to count each and every single star, associating each one with a person or event. He possessed a vast knowledge of astronomy, and he used that in influence the associations he made. Eventually he got tired of counting.

 

“Hey, Adam?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I love you.”

 

After a long wait, he received a response. “I love you too.”

 

They held hands, lying here, forgetting about the world. Shiro became immersed in the stars and the feeling of Adam’s hand.

 

The storm in the city had finally cleared, the wall separating it from its neighbor had been demolished, and the citizens inside it finally found peace.

 

\-----

 

It had been a few months since that night, and the departure for the mission was scheduled for the following morning on December 14th.

 

As Team Voltron finalized their plans for the mission, they went back into space and rescued 673 more prisoners from eleven different Galra ships. Though a few of the prisoners had died in the process, most of them lived, and the rescue missions were generally a success despite the minimal casualties.

 

Team Voltron only had one night left on Earth, and Shiro wanted to do one thing and one thing only. He wanted to spend it with Adam.

 

In fact, he wanted to do so much more than that.

 

The two of them were back in the park where they went several weeks ago on a date. Shiro and Adam were in a small boat, and Shiro was making sure the boat wouldn’t get stuck on anything. The sun had been down for hours, and the moon reflected off of the calm waters.

 

“What are we going to do here this time?” Adam asked. “Dance? Walk around? Stay in the boat the entire time?”

 

“You’ll see.”

 

The boat turned a corner, and they were almost near the gazebo.

 

“Close your eyes,” Shiro instructed.

 

Adam seemed confused. “Why? You’re not gonna push me into the water, are you?”

 

“No, of course not.”

 

“Fine, then.” Adam shut his eyes tight.

 

Once they got near the gazebo, Shiro secured the boat near the riverbank and took Adam’s hand, carefully guiding them both to land.

 

Shiro stood in front of Adam before they went any further. “Just to make sure you don’t look, I’ll put my hands over your eyes.”

 

“Isn’t that a little extra?”

 

“Not at all.” Shiro held both of his hands in front of Adam’s eyes as he lead him to the perfect spot. Everything was going according to plan.

 

“Okay, open them.”

 

He moved his hands out of the way, revealing the gazebo decorated with string lights, LED candles, rose petals, and other decor. There was even a small table to the side of the gazebo with two chairs, a white tablecloth, and a centerpiece filled with flowers.

 

“Wow, Takashi, it’s beautiful! Did you decorate all of this yourself?”

 

“I had a little help from Keith, but most of it was done by me.”

 

“So that’s why you asked me to bring food in plastic containers,” said Adam when he noticed the table. “Want me to get the bag out of the boat?”

 

“Wait.”

 

Adam turned back to Shiro. “What is it?”

 

“I-” Shiro began to develop timid thoughts, and he doubted his plan’s rate of success. He tossed his negative speculations aside, focused only on the warmness of Adam’s eyes, and began to ramble. “We’ve been there for each other for so many years. Ever since I got to know you, you became one of the people I cared about most. You’ve helped me get through so much, and I love you. I love you so, so much. I can’t even imagine what my life would be without you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and make new, hopefully positive memories together.

 

This was the moment that would make or break everything.

 

He dropped down on one knee, pulled out the container the watch was inside from his pocket, and opened the box, revealing the custom-made watch.

 

“Adam Wright, will you marry me?”

 

Adam was covering his face, shielding his expression. Shiro was still smiling, kneeling, and holding out the box. He had no idea what Adam was going to say.


	13. Leaving Nara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam shares his response to Shiro's proposal. Team Voltron departs on their mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter left after this, guys! After I finish this fic, I’ll most likely upload another fic or two. These will most likely be one-shots related to the fic and a fic filled with questions and other things, but also a possible prequel or sequel. If you guys have any suggestions for one-shots or a possible sequel plot, then please let me know. I will also be answering questions about the writing process for this fic, as well as other things you guys want to know.
> 
> By the way, one of the lines in Shiro’s speech is from the season 8 trailer, so I don’t own that line.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter mentions scars and torture.

Shiro and Adam were near the gazebo where Adam proposed and the two of them danced. Now, Shiro had dropped the question, and he was waiting for a response.

 

“Oh my god…” Adam moved his hand over his mouth, revealing his brown eyes, which were watery and wide. He eagerly nodded. “Yeah.”

 

_He said yes. He said yes! Yes!_

 

Adam held his left wrist out and rolled up his sleeve, while Shiro took the watch out of its container and attached it to his wrist. Once he secured the strap, he looked back up at Adam, who was still in shock.

 

“I love it,” Adam said with his voice cracking, and Shiro had never heard him sound that emotional.

 

“I had it custom-made, just for you.” Shiro couldn’t hide the smile on his face, nor did he want to.

 

Adam wrapped his arms around Shiro and tightly embraced him, and Shiro nearly hoped he would never let go. The warmth of Adam’s body was a feeling he loved and cherished.

 

“It’s perfect, Takashi. Thank you.”

 

\-----

 

They were now eating dinner at the small table that was set up. Neither of them were even close to finishing their meals. They couldn’t stop chatting about their future wedding and honeymoon.

 

“Do you think we should have the wedding the day we get back from our mission?” Adam twirled his spaghetti with his fork.

 

“I think we should do it the day after so we’ll have time to rest before that, but I’m not entirely sure. I’ll have to think about that tonight.”

 

“I think you’re right. As of right now, we’ll go with the day after. We’ll try to let the Garrison know when we’re returning so arrangements can be made sooner.”

 

“That’s another reason we should wait at least a day. If something comes up, then hopefully it won’t be a disaster. Now that I think about it, maybe we should wait a week before we get married. That way we have more time to plan everything, such as our outfits and the location of the wedding and our honeymoon.”

 

“That’s a lot of things to think about.”

 

“It sure is.”

 

Shiro took a bite of one of the dishes Adam had made, and he felt like he was in heaven.

 

“Where do you think we should go?” asked Adam.

 

“I guess somewhere tropical, or at least a beach. What do you think?”

 

“I like that.” He was silent for a moment. “We’ll probably be back in around six months, right?”

 

“Supposedly.”

 

“That means we’ll likely get back around summer. Since it’s almost always hotter than Hell here around that time, I was thinking we could go to a beach in New England or something.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right. I guess we’ll go with that.”

 

“But we still need to plan everything out, and we can’t really book anything until we know for sure what day we’re arriving, and it’s hard to make arrangements in space. We still have to-” Adam groaned, leaning his head back in his chair.

 

“We can worry about that later. For now, let’s enjoy this moment.”

 

Shiro stood up from his chair to kiss him, and now that they were engaged, the kiss felt much more magical.

 

\-----

 

Before the ceremony the following morning, Shiro told the paladins that he was planning on announcing a surprise before his speech. He already made plans to do this, which were approved by Iverson. So far, he was the only other person who knew about Shiro and Adam’s relationship, and he was thrilled by the news.

 

Shiro was backstage, waiting for the introduction to the ceremony to be over.

 

“This mission will ensure a safe Earth,” said Iverson on the podium. He was kicking off the paladin’s speeches. “And now you will hear from the paladins, as well as Officer Wright. Before that, Captain Shirogane has an announcement to make.”

 

He walked off the stage and gave Shiro an encouraging nod. Shiro stood up from his chair and made his way over to the podium, instantly finding Team Voltron sitting in the front row.

 

“Before we begin, I would like to make a brief announcement.” He paused, taking a deep breath to calm his excitement. “Officer Wright and I are now engaged.”

 

There was a loud roar of cheering and applause, and it made Shiro feel energized and alive. Adam stood from where he was sitting, looking back at the crowd. Everyone turned to face him.

 

“As most of you know, he will be attending the mission with Team Voltron and I. This mission will likely be lengthy and tiresome, but with him, the journey will be more pleasant.”

 

Adam smiled in response, and Shiro swore that he saw a tear fall from his eye.

 

“I have a few words regarding the mission as well, so please hold your applause.”

 

It took a few short moments for everyone to settle.

 

“Thank you.” Shiro took a moment to prepare his speech. “I’m making this promise now. We will return triumphant.”

 

More cheers generated from the crowd, though these were brief, unlike the previous ones.

 

“Team Voltron has fought for so long to protect the universe, including Earth. We have faced Zarkon, Lotor, and countless other Galra. We hope that our mission to defeat Haggar, now known as Honerva, will ensure that Earth will remain safe for many years to come.”

 

He ended his speech, stepping off the stage and sitting in his assigned chair in the front row, which was next to Keith.

 

One by one, the paladins gave their speeches. After Allura was finished, Adam stepped onto the stage and prepared to speak. Everyone was suddenly more quiet than Shiro thought was possible.

 

“For three years, I was declared to be dead. As soon as my pod was shut down and my communications were severed, all of you thought that I was truly gone. The truth is that I was captured by the Galra, and I have spent three years aboard one of their ships.”

 

He looked at Shiro for a brief moment, then took a breath and continued.

 

“I stayed there until Team Voltron rescued me and the other prisoners on that ship. It had been the worst three years of my life, and I am thankful to be liberated from their wrong and evil doings.” He held out his arm in front of him. “The Galra have attempted to rob me of what made me good and tried to turn me into a super weapon instead. Now, I will finally use the combat skills I learned for the good of the universe, and I will forever be grateful for this opportunity.” He exchanged glances with the paladins. “Thank you.”

 

He was met with applause as he exited the stage. On his way back to his seat, he gave Shiro a genuine smile and thumbs-up.

 

Iverson returned to the podium. “In just three hours, Team Voltron and several allies will depart on a mission that will likely put an end to all evil in the universe.”

 

If this mission was a success, the universe would likely not need Voltron anymore. Now that Shiro thought about it, he couldn’t imagine a life that didn’t involve space. As much as he hated it, the galaxy had become his home, and he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving it behind.

 

\-----

 

The departure was a success. Several allies decided to join them on their journey. Adam agreed to become a fighter pilot for the Atlas in the event of emergency, despite displaying an apprehensive appearance. Shiro could tell that he was hesitant to pilot again after that incident involving the crash and his capture.

 

Several hours later, most of the crew decided to head to their rooms and sleep after conversing with each other. Shiro learned more about everyone embarking on this trip, and they were finally beginning to become a tightly knit family.

 

Shiro and Adam were lying on their bed in their room, staring at the ceiling.

 

“Adam?”

 

“Yeah?” Adam’s gaze didn’t shift.

 

“Remember the night you got back from the hospital after you were rescued back in August? We took our clothes off and revealed our scars to each other. I don’t think either of us have slept shirtless since then, and now that we’re engaged, there’s one last thing we should do.”

 

Adam turned to Shiro in confusion. “You mean sex?”

 

“No! Well, maybe another time. I was actually thinking of doing that all over again, since we now know each other’s secrets for the most part. I’m not asking you to get completely naked yet, either. It can be just like last time.”

 

“So you want me to take my shirt and pants off?”

 

“If you’re comfortable with it, that is. I’ll do the same.”

 

“I’m fine with it.” To Shiro’s surprise, Adam didn’t miss a single beat.

 

“Okay, close your eyes and undress, then let me know when you’re ready. I’ll then count to three, then after that, we’ll open our eyes.”

 

Adam closed his eyes, then Shiro did the same. With his eyes closed, Shiro felt for the ends of his shirt, lifting it up over his body. Once the shirt was completely off, he tossed it on the floor and proceeded to slip off his sweatpants. He decided to stop there.

 

“I’m ready,” said Shiro.

 

Adam replied a few seconds later. “Me too.”

 

“One… Two… Three…”

 

Shiro opened his eyes, and he was now looking at the man he knew from two nights: once in a queen sized bed and the other in an illuminated pool. He knew that this person was still the man he loved, but he wasn’t used to seeing him shirtless. The concept was still foreign to Shiro, and he wished to overcome this feeling. He loathed the thought of anything about his relationship with Adam being weird and awkward.

 

Each scar was still there, from what he could remember. The only difference was the scar of his neck, which was new. His immense burn still occupied a significant portion of his body. He noticed all of the other scars as well, and plotted the possible scenarios Adam could have faced to end up with them. The scenarios were excruciating to visualize.

 

Shiro noticed Adam’s gaze fall to Shiro’s side. That’s when he realized that he had the scar from his fight with Adam, and it instantly brought back painful memories. Adam was visibly showing signs of guilt.

 

“Hey, it’s not your fault.” Shiro held both of Adam's hands. “That wasn’t you.”

 

“It wasn’t _mentally_ me, but I was still the one who attacked you. I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be.”

 

Shiro observed Adam’s body, noticing several gashes littered across his entire back. “Where did you get these?” he asked. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

 

“Oh, uh…” He grabbed the pillow behind him for support. “I was once an idiot, and I made a plan to escape with a few other prisoners. Unfortunately, we were caught while we were trying to escape. The two people I was trying to escape with were taken away, and I never saw them again. I was taken to a room, where I was beaten with a whip several times. After that, he threatened to have my trainer executed. I learned that there really was no escape from that place, and that it would be better for everyone to not do anything at all.”

 

“God…” Shiro clenched his fists, channeling his thoughts, then released them. “I can’t believe this. I can, but-”

 

“It’s okay. It’s fine.” Adam laid eyes on a large scratch with a slight purple hue on Shiro’s side. “Where did you get that one?”

 

“Haggar. She gave me this while I was fighting with her. It’s magic in some way, so that’s why it’s purple.”

 

“Isn’t that who we’re defeating?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Adam’s eyebrows furrowed. “I’m gonna kick her ass.” Adam gently traced his fingers over the scar. “She’ll pay for this.”

 

Shiro sighed, lying back on the bed. “We may be different than we were several years ago, but we’re still the same people. We’re just developed, wiser versions of what we used to be. Don’t ever put yourself down, or let someone else put you down, over it.”

 

Adam pulled Shiro into a hug, and Shiro wasn’t exactly sure why, but he enjoyed it anyways.

 

“I love you, Takashi. I love you.”

 

Shiro smiled, hugging him back. “I love you too.”

 

The mayors of the two cities were currently attending a meeting, and plans to form close relationships with one another were underway.


	14. Lovely Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Voltron returns after a long mission. Shiro and Adam have their big day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter, guys! Thank you so much for all of your love and support. It really means a lot to me. Once again, your feedback is always appreciated.
> 
> P.S., I know I mentioned a song not by Alt-J. No need to call me out for it.
> 
> Remember to tag memes, fan art, cosplay, etc. relating to this fic under #vldtiay. If someone were to make something based on this fanfic, it would certainly make my day and possibly longer than that.
> 
> If you would like to translate this fic in another language, I am more than okay with this as long as I am notified first and credited in the upload.
> 
> Please stick around for possible future works in this series. I will most likely be doing one-shots based on the series as well as making a possible list of statistics, such as word and swear counts. I was also considering making a prequel or sequel to this series, as well as a Q&A about this fic. Please let me know if you have any requests for these, and leave all questions you may have about the fic, it’s production, about the author, or anything else you want to know.

Team Voltron had been in space for several months. In that time, they had been through countless struggles and battles. In the end, Honerva was defeated, and the evil in the universe had finally reduced. Earth was finally safe.

 

Unfortunately, victory came at a price. A few of the allies that came on the mission were killed, and several more were injured. Despite this, the remaining members of the mission continued to fight. They all knew that in war, there would be some casualties, and those casualties would not be meaningless.

 

The entire Garrison celebrated their return on the first day, and a festival was hosted in the paladin’s honor. On the second day, they mourned the ones that had lost their lives on the mission and consoled heartbroken loved ones. After that, things had calmed down for everyone.

 

All except for Shiro and Adam, who were planning their wedding. It took several weeks of preparation, but they had finalized their plans at last. They would get married in the backyard of Adam’s grandfather’s house in Brazil, and they would only invite a small amount of people. Both of them idealized the comfort of a smaller wedding, and they knew that this would be much less stressful and chaotic.

 

Shiro was inside a white tent with curtains that acted as walls, concealing him from anyone else. He was waiting for Keith, who would soon arrive with a bouquet and escort him outside.

 

A calm piano tune played in the distance. Though Shiro couldn’t see what was going on, he imagined the scene in his head. Lance’s niece, Nadia, was chosen to be the flower girl. Shiro could imagine her spreading petals across the aisle, and it gave him a happy feeling inside. It was almost time.

 

Keith entered the tent with a bouquet of frosted flowers and a natural-looking grin. He handed the bouquet to Shiro, and the two men stepped outside of the tent and onto the path paved with red and pink petals. Shiro looked across from him at the tent on the other side, and out came Adam and Lance.

 

Adam was dressed in a white suit with a black bowtie and vest. It was identical to Shiro’s. They had planned on wearing matching suits. His hair was also styled, and it had grown quite a bit since they departed from Earth around six months ago. He was holding a bouquet similar to the one Shiro was carrying.

 

Lance accompanied Adam down the aisle, and they walked with slow, meticulous steps. Adam seemed eager to finally reach the center of  the aisle, and Shiro felt the same way, yet he also loved the slow pacing of this moment. He was tired of always rushing around.

 

They finally met in the center, and Keith and Lance proceeded to wait for them near the altar. Iverson, the marriage officiant, was standing in the center. Shiro and Adam exchanged enthusiastic expressions and linked their arms together. Adam’s cousin, who was playing the piano, began to play a slow tune of “Put Your Money On Me” by Arcade Fire. This was the song that Adam noticed Shiro singing in the cafe, therefore was what united them together for the first time. That song carried numerous memories and emotions to the both of them, and they both agreed to play that song for this specific moment.

 

The couple stepped down the aisle, synchronizing their footsteps to the tune of the calm piano. As they passed by several rows of chairs, Shiro recognized many faces. Adam’s full family was rather large, yet nearly every single relative attended the event. Unfortunately, Shiro did not have a single family member to invite, but he considered Adam and the paladins his family instead. Kinkade was filming the wedding with a video camera, along with a photographer that Shiro and Adam had hired for the event. Each of the paladin’s family members were in the audience, as well as Leifsdottir. Rizavi and Griffin had lit the candles while Shiro was in the tent. Lastly, Shiro noticed Coran, Romelle, and the remaining paladins sitting in the front row. Once they got to the altar, they faced each other, waiting for what would occur next.

 

“We are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Captain Takashi Shirogane and Officer Adam Wright,” Iverson announced. He turned to Shiro as a hidden signal that he was to recite his vows at this time.

 

“Adam…” Shiro began. “For countless years, you have been by my side. I cherish every moment I spend with you and every lovely memory we create together. After you were rescued, our relationship changed. We may have had some rough moments, but we were there for each other. Now we share more things in common than ever before. You’re the greatest guy a man could ask for, and if I had to save you a million times, I would in a heartbeat. I love you so much, and wherever I go from now on, I want to go with you.”

 

Iverson turned to Adam.

 

“I remember that feeling I felt when I talked to you in the cafe for the first time. You were absolutely adorable, and I just wanted to get to know you. Our relationship has grown since then, and I am glad that it has. I loved being competitive with you, and I loved those late-night discussions we would have over various subjects. Now, I want to spend the rest of my life by your side, regardless if that’s on Earth or in space.”

 

Lance’s nephew, Sylvio, brought out the rings. Shiro slipped the ring he held onto Adam’s finger. “With this ring, I thee wed.” Adam did the same thing after him. They both gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes.

 

“Takashi Shirogane,” do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

 

“I do,” he said without hesitation.

 

Iverson turned to Adam. “Adam Wright, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

 

“I do.”

 

There was a brief moment of silence and anticipation. “ With the authority vested in me, I now pronounce you married.”

 

As everyone cheered, Shiro and Adam leaned in to kiss each other on the lips. Time seemed to slow, and Shiro swore that it was the best kiss he ever had.

 

The mayors of their cities agreed to merge their town into one, resulting in a peaceful and united community.


End file.
